(no subject)
VERY big post.
That's Janice Oxford. She's bragging, and garden club lady isn't interested in her tales of meeting someone new.
Janice: UNF I <3 old ladies.
SIMpering_Idiot: Fucking super.
Janice: I just love the ladies in general
SIMpering_Idiot: I love this face because it makes you look like this is an Uglacy.
Janice: Shut it, bitch.
Janice and Oldster ballroom dance in the kitchen. Way to go.
Janice: idgi
Oldster: idgi
SIMpering_Idiot: Pokemaster did it again and Janice finally got it. Sloooooowly.
Janice: YOU'RE NEXT.
Janice: DUDE WTF I JUST KICKED YOUR ASS IN MY KITCHEN. YOU GOT SERVED
Pokemaster: VENGEANCE IS MINE
For some reason, these two broads, who BTW were all over Janice's shit decided they were going to take ol' Pokey's side.
Janice: YES! You are bent over because I broke my foot off in it. I KNOW IT.
SIMpering_Idiot: Janice they want your downstairs location.
Janice: LOOK AT HIS CHEEKS. I HOPE THATS FROM ME.
Janice: Hey so did you hear about that guy that pokes everyone?
Gypsy: Plz2bgivingme$
Further cementing the lesbodeals, Thanks ACR.
Oldster: O_o
SIMpering_Idiot: JESUS JANICE, WE GET IT.
How she managed to not get roaches is beyond me. You'll see.
SIMpering_Idiot: What are you doing?
Janice: Oh nothing I just signed up to be a camgirl
SIMpering_Idiot: WHAT?!
Janice: Hay gurl, look what I've got :D
Oldster: :D
Bumped wrinklies D8
SIMpering_Idiot: Yeah, I know. Go find something else to do please, you're the fucking garden club broad. GO GARDEN.
Oldster: When I was young we didn't belch or eat messily. We also didn't have lesbodeals.
Janice: Whatever trick, we don't have cigarettes so I have a samwich after sex :[
Janice: I'll come visit you at THE HOME!
Oldster: Fucker, she'll never visit. Just like my fucking grandkids jsdgafghkjfhgkhfgkg
SIMpering_Idiot: Autonomous cleaning? Dude, you have 4 neat points. That's less than half.
Janice: The ladies like a clean house.
SIMpering_Idiot: YOU NEED SOME DONG IN YOUR LIFE. THERE'S A POINT I'M MAKING. *kermitflails*
SIMpering_Idiot: BTW you look like you're going to try out for Rock Of Love Bus: 2
Janice: Bret Michaels looks like a chick, a beat up chick but that's beside the point.
SIMpering_Idiot: I DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY.
Janice: Drunken hookups, STEP 1 to becoming Bret Michaels ROCK OF LOVE.
SIMpering_idiot: *facepalm*
SIMpering_Idiot: Notice he's alone. Janice wasn't into it...
...Because she was outside, kicking some chick's ass who dared not to be a lesbo.
SIMpering_Idiot: And you need to have phone sex too, because you don't get laid often enough, right?
Janice: Right.
SIMpering_Idiot: >:|
Janice clearly needed to get out of the house, other than when she goes to work. We went to the fancy restaurant.
Janice: *GASP* ITS BRET MICHAELS
SIMpering_Idiot: Its Sandy Bruty, how much have you had to drink?!?!?!
SIMpering_Idiot: Hay thar, you're not bad, and you have a PONYTAIL! I bet we could pull one over on Janice.
Ponytail: Scuse bitch, I'm working.
SIMpering_Idiot: GDIT JANICE. NO. You already have one old woman in your life. Cut the shit.
Janice: But, wrinklies are so hawt :(
Ponytail: I'm quietly judging you.
Janice: Heyyyyy babbyyyyyyy wanna com to mai howse, I'll touch ur face allnight
Bartender: YOU ARE CUT OFF. NO MORE.
Janice: I got r-rejected?
SIMpering_idiot: Good thing you don't drive. :/
Janice: *grumbles* Stupid straight whores. >:(
SIMpering_Idiot: Perhaps if you got some wang in yo lyfe...
Janice: Just stop.
As soon as she got home from work, this happened.
Brandy Letourneau: THAT JUST HAPPENED.
SIMpering_Idiot: No, no no no no. Don't. You just did it.
Brandi: Hmmm hmmm kick kick hmmmmm
Janice: Why does the wind keep knocking my trash over? IDGI.
SIMpering_Idiot: 8[
This never ends well.
Janice: I AM UNTOUCHED BY MAN.
Janice: HOW'S IT FEEL TO GET YOUR ASS BEAT BY A GIRL? HOW IS IT?
SIMpering_Idiot: Apparently he didn't like your sassy tone.
SIMpering_Idiot: DAMMIT JANICE JUST GO TO BED.
SIMpering_Idiot: OOH. One day there will be a son, and YOU will pedo him, and then you will get married. DONE, and DONE.
Randochick: Just keep walkingggggg
Well at least you have clothes on.
Janice: *sings* Celebratin gettin laid ooyeah celebratin gettin laid splashin in a puddlllllle
SIMpering_Idiot: *eyeroll*
SIMpering_Idiot: Almost $5000 on a blind date TWICE, and we get him BOTH TIMES. WTF.
OldMan: Could you help me? I'm pretty sure my pelvis is broken.
SIMpering_Idiot: Whatever dude, gtfo. Crawl if you have to, I don't care.
Janice: Well aren't you pretty? I like your hair miss.
Ponytail: Can we have sex now?
SIMpering_Idiot: *Please get pregnant, please get pregnant, please get pregnant*
Lullaby? Check.
Waiter running out before she realizes what happened? Check.
Great.
SIMpering_Idiot: Its gonna be groooooce. Don't eat ittttt
Janice: But I'm hungryyyyyyyyy
Janice: This is horrible but I'll distract myself by thinking about boning that sexy firemanlady. :D
SIMpering_Idiot: Grand. You do that.
Janice: That was awful. It made me vom.
SIMpering_Idiot. It sure was! <.< >.>
Janice: *Hovers*
Janice: BUT I WANTED TO SEE THE FIREMANLADY AGAIN
SIMpering_Idiot: No. I crushed your dream. Get over it.
FOUR NEAT POINTS AND SHE AUTO CLEANS. No complaints here, I'm just confused.
No.
Whatever.
Remember? She's superstraight.
Who is that?
Janice: ITS PREGNANTSMUSTLEJELLYTIME
PREGNANTSMUSTLEJELLYTIME
Janice: WHAT IS THAT FUCKED UP SMELL?
SIMpering_Idiot: You. You smustled too hard.
Marnie: So, I moved in... why aren't we having sex?
Janice: Because I'm hormonal and eating for two, CAN'T YOU TELL?!
Janice: I'm standing here in my pajamas, next to the bed. DO THE MATH.
Apparently he's the math.
Marnie: Just be quiet and she won't notice, she's in some kind of haze.
Janice: Or I just don't care, but yes, keep it quiet.
...
REALLY?
Yeah no one uses it anymore so that's fine. I really don't care.
SIMpering_Idiot: Marnie, just stop. You never used it, and I'm pretty sure you didn't know it was there.
Marnie: But I would've known it was here at some point!
Pop 2
Marnie: Please forgive me for doing the math :'(
Janice: You did the math.
So I just found out she was pregnant... Don't judge me.
SIMpering_Idiot: The firemanlady isn't coming, so stop it.
Janice: Fuck.
Janice: Feelin good enough to bang :D?
Marnie: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I WAS ELECTROCUTED.
FUCK
Wild pregnant dance party in the kitchen.
So this is Antonia. Janice's eyes and skin, and Ponytail's hair.
Marnie: Dude, THIS ONE isn't your doing. NO TOUCH.
SIMpering_Idiot: As much as I'd like for her to not be pregnant, this isn't very nice.
Marnie: You reek but you're not mine :D
Antonia: *writhes*
Marnie: WHOA, good morning! WTF IS GOING ON.
Toby Carlsson, the math's eyes and hair, Marnie's skin.
SIMpering_Idiot: One crib, two babies, tiny house. AGE, and we move.
Janice: Age age age age age
Antonia: But I like just laying here, or on the bathroom floor... where I end up so often.
Janice: *lectures* I know you're sleeping, but that smell is unacceptable. Do something about it.
Toby: Hay mom :)
SIMpering_Idiot: I see you're breaking in the new couch. Stay classy.
Janice: We are totally meant for each other, we both get around, we've both decided that we're bi, and we both have illegitimate children!
Marnie: TOTALLY. ILU.
Janice: (Keep smiling so she doesn't know you're wtfing at your decision)
Marnie: Wait, what just happened
Antonia: Yeah, about that. I really don't need to see that shit. Gonna go play in the toilet now.
Antonia: DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'M TRYING TO SLEEP.
SIMpering_Idiot: She has 1 nice point, did I tell you that?
Marnie: If I hear her bitch about YOU making noise again, you're paying for it, baby.
We needed her to be platinum before I aged her up, so she got to learn how to walk.
Antonia: This shit's overrated.
SIMpering_Idiot: You're an adorable little bitch. I just want to hug you.
Antonia: Don't even try.
Toby aged first, working on Antonia.
That looks comfortable.
Antonia Oxford:
Scorpio
10 neat, 3 shy, 9 active, 3 srs, 1 grouchy.
This is going to be bad. Her nose is a bit big but I'm hoping she grows into it. She was watching tv and RAN over to clean the dishes. We have a maid now y'all.
SIMpering_Idiot: SO FUCKING CUTE. Also is that Eric Clapton on your shirt?
Antonia: I enjoy Clapton. What of it?
Antonia: Now get the fuck away from me before I go crazy.
SIMpering_Idiot: Cute cute cute cute.
Toby is... ok looking. I don't think the babyfro is doing him justice but he's not going to be a toddler much longer anyway.
Toby Carlsson:
Aries
6 neat, 8 outgoing, 8 active, 3 srs, 3 grouchy.
Great.
Janice: I don't appreciate your SASS, kid. Stop turning off the fucking TV.
Antonia: Yeah ok. Sure.
I love this family so I'm going to be updating them again soon, they're really entertaining. Also Antonia needs some competition so that I can pretend there is a choice.