If the Feeling is Gone Chap. 15 Part2 (END)
TITLE : If the Feeling is Gone Chap. 15 Part2 (END)
length : Chaptered; 3,071 words
pairing/characters : KyuMin, YeWook, KyuWook,
genre : drama,romance
rating : PG-13
Last Chap!! :D :D ... I'm so sorry this took me forever to finish >< .. Thank you so much to everyone who supported this fic.. It's my first so i know if i fail at writing now then naku po, this is even worse XD... so to those who gave me the push to finish this.. /huggles Thanks for the inspiration!
For Bday Girl fumikux3 . Happy Bday Dear! thanks for being sweet. Loves!! mwah!
BETA by ailaling1017 . Thanks Aila!!! :D /huggles
CHAP.1 /CHAP.2 /CHAP.3 /CHAP.4 /CHAP.5 /CHAP.6 /CHAP.7 /CHAP.8 /CHAP.9 /CHAP.10 /CHAP.11 /CHAP.12 /CHAP.13 /CHAP.14 /CHAP.15-1
Something was utterly wrong. Kyuhyun was sure that Ryeowook had something up his sleeves the moment the man shoved him and Sungmin in one room, stating that he can’t leave Yesung alone so he’ll have to room with him. It’s as if the man was pushing him towards Sungmin, but he can’t understand what intentions the man could have had. Why would he shove his husband to another man?
He was weighing the reasons of Ryeowook’s sudden actions, but all of it was forgotten. along with the ability to breathe, as he saw Sungmin emerge of the bathroom, only a towel clad over his small body, water dripping all over his porcelain skin. His finger twitched as he envied those droplets that could freely sway over the smoothness of Sungmin’s skin, the desire to have his hand in that place burning within him.
Sungmin tilted his head and his eyes widened as he saw Kyuhyun eating him with his eyes. Realizing the consequences of his actions, he immediately grabbed his shirt on top of the bed and covered his still slightly wet body, ignoring the coldness of the water being seeping through his shirt as what overpowered his system was the heat of Kyuhyun’s stares that roamed his body.
Both of their bodies tremble as they felt that inner beast inside them plead to be set free.
“Y-you could shower n-now, I... I’ll sleep first,” Sungmin stuttered, his heart beating too fast for his liking, making every inch of him tremble on fear.
“Oh. Y-Yeah. Okay,”Kyuhyun replied, also in the same state as Sungmin.
Head bowed down low, he nervously took a step forward, but it’s as if fate’s was playing with them as they moved at exactly the same time, Sungmin stepping forward in the same direction as Kyuhyun, blocking the other to go further as they stood face to face, their aching bodies inches away from each other - that one more step begging to be bridged so they could mould as one.
Kyuhyun brushed the temptations away and moved over to the right; but fate was one playful kid as Sungmin moved at the same direction as well. The two trembled as it made it impossible for them to resist the building desire inside them to let fate win. It was too strong that they knew it’s impossible to fight it, so with the little restraint Kyuhyun still had, he hastily moved over to the empty space on Sungmin’s side, but fate was a bad player as Sungmin chose, yet again, the same time to move - the haste of their actions making both of them stumble over and fall to the ground, Kyuhyun straddling over Sungmin’s trembling body.
“Kyu...”Sungmin breathed, his face, just inches away from Kyuhyun’s, the position not doing anything good for his sanity. The other was like a magnet, drawing him nearer that he found his eyes wandering over to Kyuhyun’s lips, then to those orbs that were looking right straight at his.
“Kyuhyun,”Sungmin repeated. They both knew what they wanted, but they know they can’t; yet the temptation’s too strong that they found themselves slowly leaning closer, their breath touching each other’s lips, teasing them to close the gap.
“Kyuhyun, you know we can’t,” Sungmin muttered, holding on to that bit of sanity that was still in him.
Sungmin felt something wet touch his cheeks and his heart broke as he saw tears falling down from Kyuhyun’s orbs, that he can’t help but mirror the action, his own tears breaking free from his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun whispered, his tear-stained eyes still looking longingly at the man under him, the image getting blurred as tears covered his sight. His heart broke, knowing that like the image he was seeing, he was indeed losing the other.
“Kyuhyun we need to let go.” Sungmin closed his eyes as Kyuhyun touched his forehead onto Sungmin’s. “I know,” Kyuhyun muttered as he gently caressed his wet cheeks over Sungmin’s, the older man’s heart fluttering at the affection.
Sungmin was close to leaning in to the touch so he was glad, over his breaking heart, when Kyuhyun broke free. But his heart stopped as Kyuhyun leaned forward to leave a kiss on his forehead.
“Goodnght,” Kyuhyun whispered, but in contrary, both didn’t have the slightest intention to sleep that night as both of them stayed still lying on their beds, minds filled with each other, crying silent tears that lulled them to sleep.
*
The day passed by painfully slow as the three just went along with whatever plans Ryeowook had for the day. But what made it more painful was the obvious plan of Ryeowook to push Kyuhyun to Sungmin. Kyuhyun was close to confronting him, but he didn’t want to make a scene, so he just opted to let the day pass and planned to talk to Ryeowook later when they’re alone; but it looked like the plan was forgotten as he reached his boiling point.
They were about to eat dinner but Ryeowook told them that he needs to get something in his room and asked them to go on first, and of course he pulled Jongwoon with him -leaving Kyuhyun and Sungmin alone. Kyuhyun sighed, his stomach grumbling to even think of Ryeowook’s antics, so Sungmin and him silently went to the place Ryeowook told them to, but they stopped as what greeted them in the garden was not something they expected.
There was only one table with two sets of plates, a candle, and a lone rose beside the wine bottle standing in the middle of the table - giving the setting a romantic feel. There’s dim lighting surrounding the place, and the sound of a violin playing could be heard complementing it.
In normal circumstances, this was definitely something he’d love to have with Sungmin, but sadly, it’s not. He’s married and he’s not liking it one bit that it’s even his husband who’s pushing him towards unfaithfulness.
“I need to talk to Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun bolted out, anger lacing his voice.
“Wait, where are you going?” Ryeowook asked, walking out from his hiding place, Jongwoon beside him.
“Ryeowook what the heck are you doing?!”
“It’s just a dinner. Jeez, if you don’t want it, just say it. Ugh. Jongwoon, I’m hungry. Let’s eat this before this gets cold,” Ryeowook muttered casually.
“Ryeowook! I’m serious!” Kyuhyun exhaled, not liking how Ryeowook acted as if this was nothing.
The said man stiffened on his spot, not knowing what to say. He might be showing a smile on his face, but deep inside, he was breaking apart. It’s not easy to let go of the man you loved for so long. Every time he pushed Kyuhyun to Sungmin, it’s as if he was pushing a little bit of his heart as well. It hurt so much that he felt his heart slowly dying.
But despite of the unbearable pain, he smiled before looking back at Kyuhyun. “This is what you want, right?”
Kyuhyun stood frozen, not knowing what to say. “W-what do you mean?”
“You don’t have to hide it Kyuhyun. I, I know you don’t love me anymore.” Ryeowook grinned wider, as he felt his heart crack. He had already accepted it, but it still hurt all the same.
“Ryeowook, you know that’s not true.” Kyuhyun immediately softened as he saw the pain in the other’s eyes.
Ryeowook chuckled as he fought the tears that were threatening to spill out from his eyes.
“You know it’s true, Kyuhyun. All four of us here know it’s true.”
“Wook-“ Kyuhyun started, but Ryeowook immediately cut him off, knowing the other man would deny it, and would splutter sugar-laced lies. He was tired; he didn’t want to play this game anymore. He wasn’t dumb to not know what’s real.“Sssh... I’ve already accepted it. All I wish is for you to be happy. I love you so much, Kyuhyun. You know that, I’m so sorry that I let myselfget too blinded by that love that I didn’t think straight and thought that as long as I have you, everything would be fine. It hurts, Kyuhyun. It hurts to know that I have you with me, but your heart will never be mine.”
“I’m so sorry,” Kyuhyun croaked in tears as he hugged the other man tight.
Ryeowook hugged back, relishing the other’s warmth as if it would be his last.
He sighed before letting go; he looked at Sungmin who was watching the whole scene playing in front of him with tears in his eyes, feeling guilt crawl in him, knowing he’s partly the reason for the other man’s pain. But he was shocked as Ryeowook reached for his hand. He was hesitant at first, but Ryeowook smiled at him, as if telling him it’s fine and Sungmin can’t help but smile back as he place his hand over Ryeowook’s.
Ryeowook smiled, gripping Sungmin’s hands into his, before taking Kyuhyun’s hand into his opposite hand. He then joined the two together, making the two men flinch.
“I know it, I could feel how much the two of you love each other. Sungmin, please forgive me for even thinking of taking Kyuhyun away from you.”
Sungmin shook his head as tears rolled continuously from his eyes. “What are you saying? You never did.”
“It’s okay, Sungmin. I’m happy you know. I’m happy to know that at least, I’m giving Kyuhyun up to someone I know who loves him as much as I do, even more, I think. So please, promise me you’ll make him happy. Promise me you’ll never leave him like what I did.”
Sungmin shook his head, his tears making it impossible for him to form any words.
“Kyu…” Ryeowook turned to the sobbing man, gripping his hand tight. “Promise me too Kyuhyun. Please be happy. Please?”
“Ryeowook…” Kyuhyun muttered in between sobs, but he stopped, not knowing how to respond.
Ryeowook sensed it and smiled before hugging the two sobbing men.
“Haa.. The song is beautiful, right? Jongwoonie, dance with me please?” Ryeowook went to the man who was silently standing over at the corner, shocked as he was suddenly addressed, but he obliged nonetheless - taking Ryeowook who immediately clung to him.
Ryeowook closed his eyes as he swayed with Jongwoon, letting the air control their bodies. “You can cry you know,” Jongwoon whispered when they were already far enough from Kyuhyun and Sungmin, knowing Ryeowook was just showing a strong demeanour, but deep inside, he knew how much the young man was crumbling.
Ryewook shook his head and smiled. “I cried too much my whole life that I don’t think I have any more tears to cry.”
“It feels great Woonie. It hurts, but it feels so good,” Ryeowook sighed, loving that peaceful feeling inside him.
“You’ve done the right thing. You should be proud of yourself,”Jongwoon smiled, cradling the smaller man’s face with his hands. loving the smile that adorned the other’s face, sighing at how one could be so beautiful. He might look weak, but those orbs shone brighter than any of the stars that night; and that smile - he looked at it, wanting it to be etched inside his memory forever.
“I did, did I?” Ryeowook smiled wider as he leaned his head on Jongwoon’s shoulder, his body swaying with the wind, smiling as Jongwoon nuzzled his hair.
“Yes you did,” Jongwoon whispered.
“Thank you,”Ryeowook whispered back, breaking the comfortable silence.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m doing all of this because I want to.”
“You’ve been so good to me. Sometimes, I wonder why I didn’t just fall for you,”Ryeowook chuckled, burying his head deeper on Jongwoon’s comfortable chest.
“Jongwoon, I know I’ve asked you for too many favours already, but can I... Can I ask you for one more thing?”
“Don’t you ever hesitate to ask. I’ve already told you, I love what I’m doing. This is what makes me happy. So if there’s anything that you want, just tell me and I’ll do it for you.” Even give up my life, he wanted to add but didn’t, not wanting to burden the young man. But it was true that he would do anything for the other. Some might call him stupid for being such a fool for loving someone that he knew would never love him back, but can he really stop his heart? But Ryeowook’s request suddenly pulled him from his reverie, making him look at the young man, as if asking if he heard the right thing.
“Can you promise to find me on our next lives?” Ryeowook asked again.
Jongwoon looked at him questioningly. Ryeowook just smiled before continuing. “Just promise.”
“I- I promise,” Jongwoon muttered hesitantly.
“Good. Because I’ll reserve my heart for you so you better find me soon,” Ryeowook whispered before going back to bury his head against the comfort of Jongwoon’s shoulder.
“I promise,” Jongwoon muttered, this time with more conviction as he felt tears drop down from his eyes from happiness.
“I’ll wait for you then,” Ryeowook whispered before closing his eyes slowly with a smile on his face.
Jongwoon felt the smaller man’s weight grow heavier on his shoulder, and he froze, hoping against hope that it’s not what he was expecting.
“Ryeowook?” He whispered, nudging the small man in his arms as he broke down into tears when he got no response from the smaller man.
“No please. Ryeowook!”Jongwoon screamed as he clung to Ryeowook’s body tighter.
*
Kyuhyun stood beside Jongwoon, giving the crying man a pat on the back as the people started to lessen; but Jongwoon stood still in front of Ryeowook’s grave, not showing any intentions of going away. Kyuhyun and the man weren’t really close, and he must admit, they didn’t really have a good start. But he saw how the man genuinely loved Ryeowook. His heart broke apart, seeing Ryeowook gone. After all, he did love the man. But he knew that it’s nowhere near the love Jongwoon had given Ryeowook, and he was sure that the pain the other in was greater than his.
Sensing the other’s worry, Jongwoon looked up at him with a smile, brushing his tears in the process. “I’m sure he’s already happy wherever he is. He had been through so much pain; he deserves to be at peace.”
Kyuhyun just nodded, bowing his head low, guilt eating him up, knowing a lot of the pain Ryeowook had went through was because of him. “He loves you, Kyuhyun. You shouldn’t blame yourself. I’m sure Ryeowook wouldn’t want that.”
“I just, I can’t help it. I feel so bad, I can’t help but hate myself.”
“Don’t you remember Ryeowook’s last wish for you? He wants you to be happy Kyuhyun.”
“I don’t think I can. I don’t deserve it,”Kyuhyun muttered dejectedly.
“But Sungmin deserves happiness as well right? You’re one lucky bastard Kyuhyun. Would you let Sungmin go through the same heartbreak Ryeowook underwent just because of your insecurities?”
“I-“ Kyuhyun started, not knowing what to do. Ever since that night, he hadn’t really talked with Sungmin yet. Everything just happened too fast.
“Ryeowook had already given you his permission, right? What are you still doing here?! Seriously! Don’t you know how scary Ryeowook can be when he’s disobeyed; you don’t want him to haunt you from his grave right?”
Kyuhyun chuckled before nodding at Jongwoon. “How about you?”
“I’m fine. I just want to be with him for a little more.”
Kyuhyun smiled before starting off, one destination in mind. But even before he went further, he stopped and looked back.
“Jongwoon!”
The said man tilted his head and looked at Kyuhyun.
“Thank you.” Jongwoon smiled, giving Kyuhyun a nod before watching him walk away. He then tilted his head to Ryeowook’s grave, a smile on his face.
*
Kyuhyun inhaled a puff of air as his heart trembled, not knowing what to do as he stood in front of Sungmin’s house.
He lifted his hand in an attempt to press the doorbell, but inches away from the button, he pulled his hand back.
This had been a repetitive process that he didn’t notice the chuckling man who was watching him.
“Donghae? What are you doing?” Sungmin asked his friend who was laughing by himself at the window.
He looked at what the other was looking at and his eyes widened as he saw Kyuhyun by the door. “Kyuhyun?”
“Yeah. He had been like that for the past few minutes. It’s amusing!”
“Are you crazy!? Why didn’t you let him in?!” Sungmin scolded.
“How could I let him in when he can’t even press the doorbell?!”
Sungmin shook his head and went towards the door.
Kyuhyun sighed, thinking it’s all or nothing as he threw all his fears away and was about to press the doorbell when his heart stopped as the door suddenly opened, revealing Sungmin who was looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “What are you doing? Donghae said you’ve been there for the past few minutes.”
“I...”Kyuhyun stuttered, a deep shade of red creeping on his cheeks from humiliation.
“You?”Sungmin asked. Kyuhyun just looked at him, not saying a thing so Sungmin asked again. “Why are you here?”
“It’s just... I just thought that maybe... Can we... I mean, do you still want to...”Kyuhyun trailed off, scared of being rejected.
“To?” Sungmin chuckled, finding this side of Kyuhyun amusing to watch.
“I... I love you Sungmin. Do you still want to be with me?” Kyuhyun whispered in a low voice, the blush in his cheeks getting deeper.
“What happened to you? This is not the Kyuhyun that I fell in love with.” Sungmin chuckled.
Kyuhyun’s heart stopped. “Do- do you still love this me though?”
“Tsk sadly, I’ve already fallen deep in everything that you are.”
Kyuhyun smiled wide at the confession, tears falling from his eyes at the incredible happiness he felt inside him.
“Oh my goodness. Lee Sungmin, what have you done to me?” Kyuhyun sighed. “But whatever it is, please don’t ever stop.” Kyuhyun added before attaching their lips in a deep kiss.
“Oh I won’t, I don’t even think I can,” Sungmin replied, kissing back.
“I love you, Lee Sungmin,” Kyuhyun muttered, looking deep into Sungmin’s eyes, meaning it with every fibre of his body.
“I love you, too.” Sungmin whispered before his lip was sealed by Kyuhyun, along with his heart.
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length : Chaptered; 3,071 words
pairing/characters : KyuMin, YeWook, KyuWook,
genre : drama,romance
rating : PG-13
Last Chap!! :D :D ... I'm so sorry this took me forever to finish >< .. Thank you so much to everyone who supported this fic.. It's my first so i know if i fail at writing now then naku po, this is even worse XD... so to those who gave me the push to finish this.. /huggles Thanks for the inspiration!
For Bday Girl fumikux3 . Happy Bday Dear! thanks for being sweet. Loves!! mwah!
BETA by ailaling1017 . Thanks Aila!!! :D /huggles
CHAP.1 /CHAP.2 /CHAP.3 /CHAP.4 /CHAP.5 /CHAP.6 /CHAP.7 /CHAP.8 /CHAP.9 /CHAP.10 /CHAP.11 /CHAP.12 /CHAP.13 /CHAP.14 /CHAP.15-1
Something was utterly wrong. Kyuhyun was sure that Ryeowook had something up his sleeves the moment the man shoved him and Sungmin in one room, stating that he can’t leave Yesung alone so he’ll have to room with him. It’s as if the man was pushing him towards Sungmin, but he can’t understand what intentions the man could have had. Why would he shove his husband to another man?
He was weighing the reasons of Ryeowook’s sudden actions, but all of it was forgotten. along with the ability to breathe, as he saw Sungmin emerge of the bathroom, only a towel clad over his small body, water dripping all over his porcelain skin. His finger twitched as he envied those droplets that could freely sway over the smoothness of Sungmin’s skin, the desire to have his hand in that place burning within him.
Sungmin tilted his head and his eyes widened as he saw Kyuhyun eating him with his eyes. Realizing the consequences of his actions, he immediately grabbed his shirt on top of the bed and covered his still slightly wet body, ignoring the coldness of the water being seeping through his shirt as what overpowered his system was the heat of Kyuhyun’s stares that roamed his body.
Both of their bodies tremble as they felt that inner beast inside them plead to be set free.
“Y-you could shower n-now, I... I’ll sleep first,” Sungmin stuttered, his heart beating too fast for his liking, making every inch of him tremble on fear.
“Oh. Y-Yeah. Okay,”Kyuhyun replied, also in the same state as Sungmin.
Head bowed down low, he nervously took a step forward, but it’s as if fate’s was playing with them as they moved at exactly the same time, Sungmin stepping forward in the same direction as Kyuhyun, blocking the other to go further as they stood face to face, their aching bodies inches away from each other - that one more step begging to be bridged so they could mould as one.
Kyuhyun brushed the temptations away and moved over to the right; but fate was one playful kid as Sungmin moved at the same direction as well. The two trembled as it made it impossible for them to resist the building desire inside them to let fate win. It was too strong that they knew it’s impossible to fight it, so with the little restraint Kyuhyun still had, he hastily moved over to the empty space on Sungmin’s side, but fate was a bad player as Sungmin chose, yet again, the same time to move - the haste of their actions making both of them stumble over and fall to the ground, Kyuhyun straddling over Sungmin’s trembling body.
“Kyu...”Sungmin breathed, his face, just inches away from Kyuhyun’s, the position not doing anything good for his sanity. The other was like a magnet, drawing him nearer that he found his eyes wandering over to Kyuhyun’s lips, then to those orbs that were looking right straight at his.
“Kyuhyun,”Sungmin repeated. They both knew what they wanted, but they know they can’t; yet the temptation’s too strong that they found themselves slowly leaning closer, their breath touching each other’s lips, teasing them to close the gap.
“Kyuhyun, you know we can’t,” Sungmin muttered, holding on to that bit of sanity that was still in him.
Sungmin felt something wet touch his cheeks and his heart broke as he saw tears falling down from Kyuhyun’s orbs, that he can’t help but mirror the action, his own tears breaking free from his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun whispered, his tear-stained eyes still looking longingly at the man under him, the image getting blurred as tears covered his sight. His heart broke, knowing that like the image he was seeing, he was indeed losing the other.
“Kyuhyun we need to let go.” Sungmin closed his eyes as Kyuhyun touched his forehead onto Sungmin’s. “I know,” Kyuhyun muttered as he gently caressed his wet cheeks over Sungmin’s, the older man’s heart fluttering at the affection.
Sungmin was close to leaning in to the touch so he was glad, over his breaking heart, when Kyuhyun broke free. But his heart stopped as Kyuhyun leaned forward to leave a kiss on his forehead.
“Goodnght,” Kyuhyun whispered, but in contrary, both didn’t have the slightest intention to sleep that night as both of them stayed still lying on their beds, minds filled with each other, crying silent tears that lulled them to sleep.
*
The day passed by painfully slow as the three just went along with whatever plans Ryeowook had for the day. But what made it more painful was the obvious plan of Ryeowook to push Kyuhyun to Sungmin. Kyuhyun was close to confronting him, but he didn’t want to make a scene, so he just opted to let the day pass and planned to talk to Ryeowook later when they’re alone; but it looked like the plan was forgotten as he reached his boiling point.
They were about to eat dinner but Ryeowook told them that he needs to get something in his room and asked them to go on first, and of course he pulled Jongwoon with him -leaving Kyuhyun and Sungmin alone. Kyuhyun sighed, his stomach grumbling to even think of Ryeowook’s antics, so Sungmin and him silently went to the place Ryeowook told them to, but they stopped as what greeted them in the garden was not something they expected.
There was only one table with two sets of plates, a candle, and a lone rose beside the wine bottle standing in the middle of the table - giving the setting a romantic feel. There’s dim lighting surrounding the place, and the sound of a violin playing could be heard complementing it.
In normal circumstances, this was definitely something he’d love to have with Sungmin, but sadly, it’s not. He’s married and he’s not liking it one bit that it’s even his husband who’s pushing him towards unfaithfulness.
“I need to talk to Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun bolted out, anger lacing his voice.
“Wait, where are you going?” Ryeowook asked, walking out from his hiding place, Jongwoon beside him.
“Ryeowook what the heck are you doing?!”
“It’s just a dinner. Jeez, if you don’t want it, just say it. Ugh. Jongwoon, I’m hungry. Let’s eat this before this gets cold,” Ryeowook muttered casually.
“Ryeowook! I’m serious!” Kyuhyun exhaled, not liking how Ryeowook acted as if this was nothing.
The said man stiffened on his spot, not knowing what to say. He might be showing a smile on his face, but deep inside, he was breaking apart. It’s not easy to let go of the man you loved for so long. Every time he pushed Kyuhyun to Sungmin, it’s as if he was pushing a little bit of his heart as well. It hurt so much that he felt his heart slowly dying.
But despite of the unbearable pain, he smiled before looking back at Kyuhyun. “This is what you want, right?”
Kyuhyun stood frozen, not knowing what to say. “W-what do you mean?”
“You don’t have to hide it Kyuhyun. I, I know you don’t love me anymore.” Ryeowook grinned wider, as he felt his heart crack. He had already accepted it, but it still hurt all the same.
“Ryeowook, you know that’s not true.” Kyuhyun immediately softened as he saw the pain in the other’s eyes.
Ryeowook chuckled as he fought the tears that were threatening to spill out from his eyes.
“You know it’s true, Kyuhyun. All four of us here know it’s true.”
“Wook-“ Kyuhyun started, but Ryeowook immediately cut him off, knowing the other man would deny it, and would splutter sugar-laced lies. He was tired; he didn’t want to play this game anymore. He wasn’t dumb to not know what’s real.“Sssh... I’ve already accepted it. All I wish is for you to be happy. I love you so much, Kyuhyun. You know that, I’m so sorry that I let myselfget too blinded by that love that I didn’t think straight and thought that as long as I have you, everything would be fine. It hurts, Kyuhyun. It hurts to know that I have you with me, but your heart will never be mine.”
“I’m so sorry,” Kyuhyun croaked in tears as he hugged the other man tight.
Ryeowook hugged back, relishing the other’s warmth as if it would be his last.
He sighed before letting go; he looked at Sungmin who was watching the whole scene playing in front of him with tears in his eyes, feeling guilt crawl in him, knowing he’s partly the reason for the other man’s pain. But he was shocked as Ryeowook reached for his hand. He was hesitant at first, but Ryeowook smiled at him, as if telling him it’s fine and Sungmin can’t help but smile back as he place his hand over Ryeowook’s.
Ryeowook smiled, gripping Sungmin’s hands into his, before taking Kyuhyun’s hand into his opposite hand. He then joined the two together, making the two men flinch.
“I know it, I could feel how much the two of you love each other. Sungmin, please forgive me for even thinking of taking Kyuhyun away from you.”
Sungmin shook his head as tears rolled continuously from his eyes. “What are you saying? You never did.”
“It’s okay, Sungmin. I’m happy you know. I’m happy to know that at least, I’m giving Kyuhyun up to someone I know who loves him as much as I do, even more, I think. So please, promise me you’ll make him happy. Promise me you’ll never leave him like what I did.”
Sungmin shook his head, his tears making it impossible for him to form any words.
“Kyu…” Ryeowook turned to the sobbing man, gripping his hand tight. “Promise me too Kyuhyun. Please be happy. Please?”
“Ryeowook…” Kyuhyun muttered in between sobs, but he stopped, not knowing how to respond.
Ryeowook sensed it and smiled before hugging the two sobbing men.
“Haa.. The song is beautiful, right? Jongwoonie, dance with me please?” Ryeowook went to the man who was silently standing over at the corner, shocked as he was suddenly addressed, but he obliged nonetheless - taking Ryeowook who immediately clung to him.
Ryeowook closed his eyes as he swayed with Jongwoon, letting the air control their bodies. “You can cry you know,” Jongwoon whispered when they were already far enough from Kyuhyun and Sungmin, knowing Ryeowook was just showing a strong demeanour, but deep inside, he knew how much the young man was crumbling.
Ryewook shook his head and smiled. “I cried too much my whole life that I don’t think I have any more tears to cry.”
“It feels great Woonie. It hurts, but it feels so good,” Ryeowook sighed, loving that peaceful feeling inside him.
“You’ve done the right thing. You should be proud of yourself,”Jongwoon smiled, cradling the smaller man’s face with his hands. loving the smile that adorned the other’s face, sighing at how one could be so beautiful. He might look weak, but those orbs shone brighter than any of the stars that night; and that smile - he looked at it, wanting it to be etched inside his memory forever.
“I did, did I?” Ryeowook smiled wider as he leaned his head on Jongwoon’s shoulder, his body swaying with the wind, smiling as Jongwoon nuzzled his hair.
“Yes you did,” Jongwoon whispered.
“Thank you,”Ryeowook whispered back, breaking the comfortable silence.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m doing all of this because I want to.”
“You’ve been so good to me. Sometimes, I wonder why I didn’t just fall for you,”Ryeowook chuckled, burying his head deeper on Jongwoon’s comfortable chest.
“Jongwoon, I know I’ve asked you for too many favours already, but can I... Can I ask you for one more thing?”
“Don’t you ever hesitate to ask. I’ve already told you, I love what I’m doing. This is what makes me happy. So if there’s anything that you want, just tell me and I’ll do it for you.” Even give up my life, he wanted to add but didn’t, not wanting to burden the young man. But it was true that he would do anything for the other. Some might call him stupid for being such a fool for loving someone that he knew would never love him back, but can he really stop his heart? But Ryeowook’s request suddenly pulled him from his reverie, making him look at the young man, as if asking if he heard the right thing.
“Can you promise to find me on our next lives?” Ryeowook asked again.
Jongwoon looked at him questioningly. Ryeowook just smiled before continuing. “Just promise.”
“I- I promise,” Jongwoon muttered hesitantly.
“Good. Because I’ll reserve my heart for you so you better find me soon,” Ryeowook whispered before going back to bury his head against the comfort of Jongwoon’s shoulder.
“I promise,” Jongwoon muttered, this time with more conviction as he felt tears drop down from his eyes from happiness.
“I’ll wait for you then,” Ryeowook whispered before closing his eyes slowly with a smile on his face.
Jongwoon felt the smaller man’s weight grow heavier on his shoulder, and he froze, hoping against hope that it’s not what he was expecting.
“Ryeowook?” He whispered, nudging the small man in his arms as he broke down into tears when he got no response from the smaller man.
“No please. Ryeowook!”Jongwoon screamed as he clung to Ryeowook’s body tighter.
*
Kyuhyun stood beside Jongwoon, giving the crying man a pat on the back as the people started to lessen; but Jongwoon stood still in front of Ryeowook’s grave, not showing any intentions of going away. Kyuhyun and the man weren’t really close, and he must admit, they didn’t really have a good start. But he saw how the man genuinely loved Ryeowook. His heart broke apart, seeing Ryeowook gone. After all, he did love the man. But he knew that it’s nowhere near the love Jongwoon had given Ryeowook, and he was sure that the pain the other in was greater than his.
Sensing the other’s worry, Jongwoon looked up at him with a smile, brushing his tears in the process. “I’m sure he’s already happy wherever he is. He had been through so much pain; he deserves to be at peace.”
Kyuhyun just nodded, bowing his head low, guilt eating him up, knowing a lot of the pain Ryeowook had went through was because of him. “He loves you, Kyuhyun. You shouldn’t blame yourself. I’m sure Ryeowook wouldn’t want that.”
“I just, I can’t help it. I feel so bad, I can’t help but hate myself.”
“Don’t you remember Ryeowook’s last wish for you? He wants you to be happy Kyuhyun.”
“I don’t think I can. I don’t deserve it,”Kyuhyun muttered dejectedly.
“But Sungmin deserves happiness as well right? You’re one lucky bastard Kyuhyun. Would you let Sungmin go through the same heartbreak Ryeowook underwent just because of your insecurities?”
“I-“ Kyuhyun started, not knowing what to do. Ever since that night, he hadn’t really talked with Sungmin yet. Everything just happened too fast.
“Ryeowook had already given you his permission, right? What are you still doing here?! Seriously! Don’t you know how scary Ryeowook can be when he’s disobeyed; you don’t want him to haunt you from his grave right?”
Kyuhyun chuckled before nodding at Jongwoon. “How about you?”
“I’m fine. I just want to be with him for a little more.”
Kyuhyun smiled before starting off, one destination in mind. But even before he went further, he stopped and looked back.
“Jongwoon!”
The said man tilted his head and looked at Kyuhyun.
“Thank you.” Jongwoon smiled, giving Kyuhyun a nod before watching him walk away. He then tilted his head to Ryeowook’s grave, a smile on his face.
*
Kyuhyun inhaled a puff of air as his heart trembled, not knowing what to do as he stood in front of Sungmin’s house.
He lifted his hand in an attempt to press the doorbell, but inches away from the button, he pulled his hand back.
This had been a repetitive process that he didn’t notice the chuckling man who was watching him.
“Donghae? What are you doing?” Sungmin asked his friend who was laughing by himself at the window.
He looked at what the other was looking at and his eyes widened as he saw Kyuhyun by the door. “Kyuhyun?”
“Yeah. He had been like that for the past few minutes. It’s amusing!”
“Are you crazy!? Why didn’t you let him in?!” Sungmin scolded.
“How could I let him in when he can’t even press the doorbell?!”
Sungmin shook his head and went towards the door.
Kyuhyun sighed, thinking it’s all or nothing as he threw all his fears away and was about to press the doorbell when his heart stopped as the door suddenly opened, revealing Sungmin who was looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “What are you doing? Donghae said you’ve been there for the past few minutes.”
“I...”Kyuhyun stuttered, a deep shade of red creeping on his cheeks from humiliation.
“You?”Sungmin asked. Kyuhyun just looked at him, not saying a thing so Sungmin asked again. “Why are you here?”
“It’s just... I just thought that maybe... Can we... I mean, do you still want to...”Kyuhyun trailed off, scared of being rejected.
“To?” Sungmin chuckled, finding this side of Kyuhyun amusing to watch.
“I... I love you Sungmin. Do you still want to be with me?” Kyuhyun whispered in a low voice, the blush in his cheeks getting deeper.
“What happened to you? This is not the Kyuhyun that I fell in love with.” Sungmin chuckled.
Kyuhyun’s heart stopped. “Do- do you still love this me though?”
“Tsk sadly, I’ve already fallen deep in everything that you are.”
Kyuhyun smiled wide at the confession, tears falling from his eyes at the incredible happiness he felt inside him.
“Oh my goodness. Lee Sungmin, what have you done to me?” Kyuhyun sighed. “But whatever it is, please don’t ever stop.” Kyuhyun added before attaching their lips in a deep kiss.
“Oh I won’t, I don’t even think I can,” Sungmin replied, kissing back.
“I love you, Lee Sungmin,” Kyuhyun muttered, looking deep into Sungmin’s eyes, meaning it with every fibre of his body.
“I love you, too.” Sungmin whispered before his lip was sealed by Kyuhyun, along with his heart.
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