So...
So, its Chris' birthday today. we never really celebrate his birthday anyway, and my mom has nothing planned because she wants to spend time with christine getting her ready and all before she leaves for Florida tomarrow. So, I was thinking I might go down to Irish fest. I thought about it yesturday, but by the time i was done working at the museum, it was already 5, and it was raining. so since i was going to be by myself, i decided it might not be much fun. maybe i will go today. It has stoped raining, but it is still overcast, and i will still be by myself, so i dont know. I hate not having anything to do on the weekends.
*sigh* i have been thinking a lot about Lis lately. I dont know why i keep torturing myself by doing that. Sometimes I wish that she didnt really care as much for Andrew, and that she still loved me. That if i just want up to her and told her just how much i love her still, and cant live without her, that maybe she would take me back. But sometimes I think that maybe she loves Andrew more than me and always has. Maybe she secretly wanted me to break up with her so that they could go out. Maybe she even cheated on me with him, or thought about doing it. Thoughts like that.....*sigh* make me so sad and depresed. but i cant help them. I just cant shake the feeling that I am not whole without her, and i just cant imagine how she could feel whole without me. But she must, she is engaged to him. Unless she only agreed to marry him because although she does love him, she loves me more but doesnt think there will ever be a chance for us again. *head in hands* i wish i were omnipotent. . . . . . . .
*sigh* i have been thinking a lot about Lis lately. I dont know why i keep torturing myself by doing that. Sometimes I wish that she didnt really care as much for Andrew, and that she still loved me. That if i just want up to her and told her just how much i love her still, and cant live without her, that maybe she would take me back. But sometimes I think that maybe she loves Andrew more than me and always has. Maybe she secretly wanted me to break up with her so that they could go out. Maybe she even cheated on me with him, or thought about doing it. Thoughts like that.....*sigh* make me so sad and depresed. but i cant help them. I just cant shake the feeling that I am not whole without her, and i just cant imagine how she could feel whole without me. But she must, she is engaged to him. Unless she only agreed to marry him because although she does love him, she loves me more but doesnt think there will ever be a chance for us again. *head in hands* i wish i were omnipotent. . . . . . . .