(no subject)
I had to give a presentation yesterday. It could be on any topic, as long as it was history-related. The important thing was that we use various graphs, charts, and maps to support a thesis statement.
My topic was on Nazi population propaganda. Did I just pull that one out of a hat? Maybe. Actually I had been having trouble coming up with a topic, but then I was reading about their population policy and thought, "Gosh, I wonder how much it worked?" and then I had my topic.
On Tuesday I had emailed the prof with my outline and said, "I DON'T HAVE A THESIS," and he emailed me back saying, "Yes you do, it's just not dramatic or earth-shattering."
And then I went into class yesterday, and I was paranoid all over again. Everyone had all these charts. They didn't present them with a whole lot of excitement. They just put up their powerpoint slides and said, "So I made this chart, and it's related to my topic because of this." What conclusions were we supposed to draw? I dunno, but everyone was doing that.
The only person who did a presentation somewhat like mine did his project on Garnet Wolseley, a prominent English general. He tried to tell us the story of Wolseley's early career, "and this chart shows how impressive that is."
For the most part everyone didn't treat the presentation as an end unto itself, like I did. Plus, everyone had lots of charts! Lots of graphs! Ngrams and word clouds were everywhere! What did I have, but two charts demonstrating exactly the same thing, and a picture of a German woman, and two pieces of propaganda. I had stayed up late on Wednesday evening practicing my speech. Had they? (They didn't act like it. Certainly they didn't try to make it interesting! Sorry.)
But I got up there, and got into that Zone that I have, and I gave it my all.
I had put THE SCARIEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE under this image. I had hoped that it would catch their attention. "How is this the scariest thing in the universe? It's just a lantern-jawed lady in a cloche hat," they would say. And in fact that is exactly what they said. In fact they laughed at all the right parts, as I told them about how WWI affected people's views on families and women, and the discrimination Jews experienced. When I got to how homosexuals were treated, I said, "So about 50,000 male homosexuals were killed, but they didn't care about female homosexuals -- lesbians can still bear children after all." And then I just went for it. "They just don't like getting it in there, that's all."
I got the biggest laugh.
But no one said anything at the end of my presentation. At the end of all the presentations, people always had questions, comments, concerns. But only Prof Cohen said anything.
"You should add a few more dates in there, for context," he said. "The Beer Hall Putsch, the date Hitler came to power, the Soviet invasion."
"Okay," I said. I felt miserable. Hadn't I gotten laughs? Where were the scholarly questions and concerns? Wasn't my presentation good enough? Sure it didn't have a word cloud, but still! Had they laughed because what I was saying was stupid? Why did I have to go with Nazis? I didn't even know Hausmannization existed until today! I should have gone with Sulla. I could have seemed smart then.
I disconnected my laptop and said back down at my desk by the door.
The girl sitting next to me turned to face me. "That was good!" she said.
"Really?" I said.
"Yeah, it was like you were having a conversation with us. Like when you were talking about how gentile that poster was? I really liked it!"
"Your presentation was awesome," said the girl who sits behind her. "I wish I could have gone after you. My presentation is on euthanasia in Nazi Germany."
"That would have been perfect!" I said.
The next person to come up ranted for ten minutes about shopping malls in Istanbul. I felt better about myself.
My topic was on Nazi population propaganda. Did I just pull that one out of a hat? Maybe. Actually I had been having trouble coming up with a topic, but then I was reading about their population policy and thought, "Gosh, I wonder how much it worked?" and then I had my topic.
On Tuesday I had emailed the prof with my outline and said, "I DON'T HAVE A THESIS," and he emailed me back saying, "Yes you do, it's just not dramatic or earth-shattering."
And then I went into class yesterday, and I was paranoid all over again. Everyone had all these charts. They didn't present them with a whole lot of excitement. They just put up their powerpoint slides and said, "So I made this chart, and it's related to my topic because of this." What conclusions were we supposed to draw? I dunno, but everyone was doing that.
The only person who did a presentation somewhat like mine did his project on Garnet Wolseley, a prominent English general. He tried to tell us the story of Wolseley's early career, "and this chart shows how impressive that is."
For the most part everyone didn't treat the presentation as an end unto itself, like I did. Plus, everyone had lots of charts! Lots of graphs! Ngrams and word clouds were everywhere! What did I have, but two charts demonstrating exactly the same thing, and a picture of a German woman, and two pieces of propaganda. I had stayed up late on Wednesday evening practicing my speech. Had they? (They didn't act like it. Certainly they didn't try to make it interesting! Sorry.)
But I got up there, and got into that Zone that I have, and I gave it my all.
I had put THE SCARIEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE under this image. I had hoped that it would catch their attention. "How is this the scariest thing in the universe? It's just a lantern-jawed lady in a cloche hat," they would say. And in fact that is exactly what they said. In fact they laughed at all the right parts, as I told them about how WWI affected people's views on families and women, and the discrimination Jews experienced. When I got to how homosexuals were treated, I said, "So about 50,000 male homosexuals were killed, but they didn't care about female homosexuals -- lesbians can still bear children after all." And then I just went for it. "They just don't like getting it in there, that's all."
I got the biggest laugh.
But no one said anything at the end of my presentation. At the end of all the presentations, people always had questions, comments, concerns. But only Prof Cohen said anything.
"You should add a few more dates in there, for context," he said. "The Beer Hall Putsch, the date Hitler came to power, the Soviet invasion."
"Okay," I said. I felt miserable. Hadn't I gotten laughs? Where were the scholarly questions and concerns? Wasn't my presentation good enough? Sure it didn't have a word cloud, but still! Had they laughed because what I was saying was stupid? Why did I have to go with Nazis? I didn't even know Hausmannization existed until today! I should have gone with Sulla. I could have seemed smart then.
I disconnected my laptop and said back down at my desk by the door.
The girl sitting next to me turned to face me. "That was good!" she said.
"Really?" I said.
"Yeah, it was like you were having a conversation with us. Like when you were talking about how gentile that poster was? I really liked it!"
"Your presentation was awesome," said the girl who sits behind her. "I wish I could have gone after you. My presentation is on euthanasia in Nazi Germany."
"That would have been perfect!" I said.
The next person to come up ranted for ten minutes about shopping malls in Istanbul. I felt better about myself.