Putting the word "Tweet" in front of something doesn't make it usable.

[silentmidnight]

So I've been known to write up various random lists of things that may or may not be connected. I do this because sometimes, I really can't come up with any connected material but I want to write out the things that amuse me, so I pretend that they're connected and write them anyway.

I realize that this is kind of cheating, but I've decided I don't care, and if you want to discuss it, feel free to step into my octagon...I mean... "office". To "discuss it" ... with "words".

One day, I wrote up a list of phrases that amused me that day. Another time it was just a random string of thoughts that I had about my day while sitting at the computer for no more than fifteen minutes. Things jotted out in my little black notebook have also made their way onto the interwebs.

In particular though, once I put together a list of things that I've managed to do in public that people have "likely tweeted about".

I do not actually have twitter, because of all the social networking mediums out there it has seemed to be the least useful to my style of "life publication". However, I do use BookFace and a large chunk of my status updates could definitely be considered twitter material. For more my own entertainment than yours (I'm so sorry), this is a list of one liners from October 2011 to now that I've posted. You may notice that they range potentially humorous due to my easily amused mentality, to cynical, and to utterly confusing even to me because I really don't know what I was thinking that day.

You've been warned.

• ‎Why hello, wrong side of the bed, fancy meeting you again...


• I'm come to the conclusion that my dog will never be in a PBS nature special as a predator.


• Ice cold water is sometimes the most delicious thing on the planet. Like RIGHT NOW.


• I give less than two hoots.


• I put dryer sheets in my cleats.


• Grape Capri Sun pouches are therapeutic.


• Needs daylight savings time.


• I'm trying to weigh myself and I think the cat is trying to save me because she won't move from the scale.


• *incomprehensible muttering about morning, work, lack of sleep, and the cat being annoying*


• Todays word is "convoluted". Discuss.


• Fact - I will never be on Cake Boss.


• Throw bums on it.


• Well. I'm in a fantastic mood.


• ‎*generic cranky life statement here*


• Exam panic mode initiated. O.o


• The temptation to wear my zombie shirt with my dress pants and heels to work today is nearly overpowering.


• Fetch me an emoticon to express being morbidly cynical.


• Once upon a time, there was a.... You know what? Entertain yourselves. Run wild.


• THESE PIECES ARE SO SMALL.


• Pillow to face interaction imminent.


• Little known fact: It is nearly impossible to eat a Fruit Roll Up like a T-Rex and be sad at the same time.


• ‎Simple fixes. - at Planet Fitness.


• The aforementioned individual is ornery.


• Text from Rachel just now: Did I mention I was the Great Stone Dragon?... Also, I got a B+ in my grad class. The "+" is for FIND ME A DONUT.


• ... And my day is officially shot, I've found somewhere to watch the first Digimon series online. .... Welp, so much for productivity.


• Antibiotics are AMAZING.


• Piano for the soul.


• Like this status if you like motherhood, apple pie, or puppies. - with Rachel Wakim


• Hurling Rabbids.


• Delicious insomnia.


• The word of the day is "asinine".


• News flash: Personal happiness is not at the bottom of this life barrel. Turn back now and try a different barrel. Maybe one that's in a freezer and labeled "Ice Cream" (Read: The princess is in another castle.)


• Has anyone invented a way to punch computer code and/or the internet in the face? If not, please let me know where I can sign up to research this and provide a viable solution for the world.