OMG Will This Never End???
Ok, here I go into the rest of the bullshit about things that have happened since Sunday of last week I just wanted to update on life here in Paris, TX. We spent the last 3 days to and from a doctor’s appointment in Fort Worth, TX to her pain management doctor. There are none here and she has had him as her physician for the past 17 years.
She will walk a mile so she could work with him. Apparently, her career as a bull rider years ago had finally taken their toll so yes, she is a bit torqued up but for the most part we do ok together. Typical Texan though, you can never get a word in edgewise just like a group of Bi-Polar having a conversation. The only difference is that the Bi-Polaris can understand each other.
It is horribly windy here, gusts to 33 mph and right not I believe it is about 32 degrees. It is not actually the cold, I can handle the cold, and it is the fucking wind. I had to get something out of the van earlier and I felt like my blood froze. It totally sucked! All I want to do at this time is to curl up and not deal with anything.
I have been fighting with my insurance company, the one that I have had since I started working for Home Depot 6 years ago (Which Incidentally Fired Me While I Have Been Out On Disability) I called on a whim. You know? You get a feeling that something is wrong so you just call to see what is up? 2 days before Thanksgiving just to see what is up and when my next check would be here, which incidentally should have been on Friday that week? I called and they told me that they did not have information so they were going to suspend my disability payments until they received further info and then made a decision.
Now, 3 days before Christmas and I still have not heard a thing from them. Let me rephrase that, they said that they had not made their decision. I told the caseworker my dilemma and my need to see that my family can at least receive Christmas. Her response was “ Well, what matters is that you get the und3erstanding that you will have your family at Christmas. WHAT A FUCKING C_NT! Sorry, I usually never use that word but if anyone was, she is.
My “SANITY” is in question, I know for a fact that I am in crisis the only thing that keeps me going is a ample supply of medication and the few members that i have to be close to at during Christmas. I am just holding on to see my son who lives with his mother in Dallas, TX. The kind of child that if you could look up in a dictionary you would see them. Very even keeled and studying to be a surgeon.
My level of pride that I have for this child is enormous. His Mother uses that as a tool to get back at me any time that she can, she does, and it works most effectively. I am thoroughly sure that she is a daughter of Satan himself. Last year she told me that they were going to be busy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I found out later that they did not go anywhere. Did that give me a reason to commit suicide? No but then again I did not do it because I knew, I did it because I was alone. I hate to be alone either within myself or physically alone. It haunts me to be like that.
OK ON WITH THE CHILD FROM INDIANA
Here at the first of the week I left a posting about my 18 year old that I had to send back to Indiana after a 29 day stay in an attempt to get his straight ns on the right track towards getting a job and moving on with his life. If you remember, after 4 days, on Thanksgiving Day, He decided to mutilate his arms in which we got him into Terrell State Hospital so they could get his medication straight and to “jump start” him getting help with free medication.
OK. To make an already long story short and after his family in Indiana almost pleading with me to not send him back (They had enough of his bullshit and wanted me to try to fix him. What they did not want to admit is that he could not fix, the damage ha been already been done and what they would never be able to comprehend is that I am a very even keel person but “once my cup is full” I have had it.
So fast forward to Sunday Night. He called his Mother in Indiana who called repeatedly to try to get us to “reason” about not sending him back. Then his Grandmother would call and the same response would result. Once he knew his demise was eminent, He started being that more belligerent. We called the police and were told that he could take a ride to jail or put him on a bus that night.
2 days later, from what I understand, they took him from Greyhound to the local hospital because evidently he had ingested all of his medication. So now, I have his biological mother pissed at me because she thinks that I let him get on the bus drugged up, which is of course not true, AND if it weren’t for the suicide note that I found today in the rest of his things that I have to send to him next week and he HAD died, I could have been charged with wreckless homicide, or in the worst case scenario, murder!
The little fucker has found a way to severely piss me off! In 29 days to not only try once but twice to take his life and in my home nonetheless, His mother will not return my calls, quite honestly, I do not give a shit anymore. The motherfucker took it upon himself to put on a show for everyone and it did not work. For a child who says that he has an IQ of over 140 he surely acts like a dumb ass!
I guess the thing that hurt first was that his Mother wouldn’t call me back, His Grandmother finally did once D. called me and told me what he had done and where he had hidden a suicide note. I did not let the little shit get away with all of this and she agreed that he just needed to grow up. I left the door basically about him coming back down here, but there would have to be a lot of growing up on his part before I would let him back around here as a guest ever again.
SIK
She will walk a mile so she could work with him. Apparently, her career as a bull rider years ago had finally taken their toll so yes, she is a bit torqued up but for the most part we do ok together. Typical Texan though, you can never get a word in edgewise just like a group of Bi-Polar having a conversation. The only difference is that the Bi-Polaris can understand each other.
It is horribly windy here, gusts to 33 mph and right not I believe it is about 32 degrees. It is not actually the cold, I can handle the cold, and it is the fucking wind. I had to get something out of the van earlier and I felt like my blood froze. It totally sucked! All I want to do at this time is to curl up and not deal with anything.
I have been fighting with my insurance company, the one that I have had since I started working for Home Depot 6 years ago (Which Incidentally Fired Me While I Have Been Out On Disability) I called on a whim. You know? You get a feeling that something is wrong so you just call to see what is up? 2 days before Thanksgiving just to see what is up and when my next check would be here, which incidentally should have been on Friday that week? I called and they told me that they did not have information so they were going to suspend my disability payments until they received further info and then made a decision.
Now, 3 days before Christmas and I still have not heard a thing from them. Let me rephrase that, they said that they had not made their decision. I told the caseworker my dilemma and my need to see that my family can at least receive Christmas. Her response was “ Well, what matters is that you get the und3erstanding that you will have your family at Christmas. WHAT A FUCKING C_NT! Sorry, I usually never use that word but if anyone was, she is.
My “SANITY” is in question, I know for a fact that I am in crisis the only thing that keeps me going is a ample supply of medication and the few members that i have to be close to at during Christmas. I am just holding on to see my son who lives with his mother in Dallas, TX. The kind of child that if you could look up in a dictionary you would see them. Very even keeled and studying to be a surgeon.
My level of pride that I have for this child is enormous. His Mother uses that as a tool to get back at me any time that she can, she does, and it works most effectively. I am thoroughly sure that she is a daughter of Satan himself. Last year she told me that they were going to be busy Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I found out later that they did not go anywhere. Did that give me a reason to commit suicide? No but then again I did not do it because I knew, I did it because I was alone. I hate to be alone either within myself or physically alone. It haunts me to be like that.
OK ON WITH THE CHILD FROM INDIANA
Here at the first of the week I left a posting about my 18 year old that I had to send back to Indiana after a 29 day stay in an attempt to get his straight ns on the right track towards getting a job and moving on with his life. If you remember, after 4 days, on Thanksgiving Day, He decided to mutilate his arms in which we got him into Terrell State Hospital so they could get his medication straight and to “jump start” him getting help with free medication.
OK. To make an already long story short and after his family in Indiana almost pleading with me to not send him back (They had enough of his bullshit and wanted me to try to fix him. What they did not want to admit is that he could not fix, the damage ha been already been done and what they would never be able to comprehend is that I am a very even keel person but “once my cup is full” I have had it.
So fast forward to Sunday Night. He called his Mother in Indiana who called repeatedly to try to get us to “reason” about not sending him back. Then his Grandmother would call and the same response would result. Once he knew his demise was eminent, He started being that more belligerent. We called the police and were told that he could take a ride to jail or put him on a bus that night.
2 days later, from what I understand, they took him from Greyhound to the local hospital because evidently he had ingested all of his medication. So now, I have his biological mother pissed at me because she thinks that I let him get on the bus drugged up, which is of course not true, AND if it weren’t for the suicide note that I found today in the rest of his things that I have to send to him next week and he HAD died, I could have been charged with wreckless homicide, or in the worst case scenario, murder!
The little fucker has found a way to severely piss me off! In 29 days to not only try once but twice to take his life and in my home nonetheless, His mother will not return my calls, quite honestly, I do not give a shit anymore. The motherfucker took it upon himself to put on a show for everyone and it did not work. For a child who says that he has an IQ of over 140 he surely acts like a dumb ass!
I guess the thing that hurt first was that his Mother wouldn’t call me back, His Grandmother finally did once D. called me and told me what he had done and where he had hidden a suicide note. I did not let the little shit get away with all of this and she agreed that he just needed to grow up. I left the door basically about him coming back down here, but there would have to be a lot of growing up on his part before I would let him back around here as a guest ever again.
SIK