(no subject)
Most people don't give a shit about my pets, because aside from Khodi most of them are the unusual pets that people don't give a shit about. Mice, birds, fish...
God, I didn't think I would care so much about Comet. I never thought I'd have a fish like Comet. I've never written a eulogy before for my other pets, but maybe it's better if I do... If you don't give a damn, please don't show it. I had to see my poor baby die right in my hands.
Comet, I loved you. I loved you from the day I realised you had toughed out an entire month in a tiny little cup without any food or attention and were still alive. Sometimes I wish I found you earlier because you became so, so dear to my heart after I found you in my living room, untouched thanks to a month of chaos with visiting relatives. I loved you so much I spoiled you rotten. 2 and a half gallon tank for my baby? Freeze-dried bloodworms for breakfast? A heater, a cool rock with nice plastic leaves... Comet, if you wanted a castle in your fishbowl and and XBox, I probably would've gotten it for you.
You were so tough and so pretty and so stuck up. I loved that all about you. You were my cool little boy, the only other boy I loved in my life next to my boyfriend. I've had fish before, but no one like you. I loved that you'd swim around in your bowl like you owned the world, and you'd make nice big bubble nests showing me how happy you were. And you didn't do it just once or twice. You did it every week, filling the entire surface of your bowl to show me how much you loved me. I loved watching you eat and watching you grow. You used to tear your food apart and you used to pounce on your food and make a big show out of it. I loved all of that so much, because I couldn't help but feel like you were showing off your bad self.
And then the winter hit so hard and so suddenly, and I was so busy I could barely even focus on myself. And I should've realised how ice cold the water was, how likely it was you'd get sick...
The stress was so bad for you. So many changes, so many things going on. I did my best to help... I was so worried when you stopped eating, stop swimming. I thought you had SDS, and maybe it'd go away with a few days without food. I thought, "Comet's a badass, he'll get through this." But then you started bashing your head against the rocks, and hiding from me, and not acting like yourself... I was constantly so worried. Two weeks went by and you were getting worse. You hadn't eaten, wouldn't swim, would constantly hurt yourself...
The moment you died was the hardest, because I had just cleaned out your fishbowl, filled it with nice warm water... I watched you swim around, enjoying your tank for the first time in ages. But then you started to swerve and choke and spasm...
I wish I could've saved you, Comet. I really do. I wish I could've done more for you. Seeing you die in a cup in my hands was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There's a part of me that's hoping you'll just get yourself off the floor, swim around and blow bubbles like it never happened...
I named you Comet after my favorite hummingbird, because you made me happy like seeing a Red-Tailed Comet would. I named you Comet because I loved the way you darted around in the water. And I named you Comet because I made a wish on you, that you'd live, that I wouldn't get too attached and it wouldn't hurt if you left me because I hate goodbyes.
I love you, Comet. Every time I see a shooting star, I'll think of you.
God, I didn't think I would care so much about Comet. I never thought I'd have a fish like Comet. I've never written a eulogy before for my other pets, but maybe it's better if I do... If you don't give a damn, please don't show it. I had to see my poor baby die right in my hands.
Comet, I loved you. I loved you from the day I realised you had toughed out an entire month in a tiny little cup without any food or attention and were still alive. Sometimes I wish I found you earlier because you became so, so dear to my heart after I found you in my living room, untouched thanks to a month of chaos with visiting relatives. I loved you so much I spoiled you rotten. 2 and a half gallon tank for my baby? Freeze-dried bloodworms for breakfast? A heater, a cool rock with nice plastic leaves... Comet, if you wanted a castle in your fishbowl and and XBox, I probably would've gotten it for you.
You were so tough and so pretty and so stuck up. I loved that all about you. You were my cool little boy, the only other boy I loved in my life next to my boyfriend. I've had fish before, but no one like you. I loved that you'd swim around in your bowl like you owned the world, and you'd make nice big bubble nests showing me how happy you were. And you didn't do it just once or twice. You did it every week, filling the entire surface of your bowl to show me how much you loved me. I loved watching you eat and watching you grow. You used to tear your food apart and you used to pounce on your food and make a big show out of it. I loved all of that so much, because I couldn't help but feel like you were showing off your bad self.
And then the winter hit so hard and so suddenly, and I was so busy I could barely even focus on myself. And I should've realised how ice cold the water was, how likely it was you'd get sick...
The stress was so bad for you. So many changes, so many things going on. I did my best to help... I was so worried when you stopped eating, stop swimming. I thought you had SDS, and maybe it'd go away with a few days without food. I thought, "Comet's a badass, he'll get through this." But then you started bashing your head against the rocks, and hiding from me, and not acting like yourself... I was constantly so worried. Two weeks went by and you were getting worse. You hadn't eaten, wouldn't swim, would constantly hurt yourself...
The moment you died was the hardest, because I had just cleaned out your fishbowl, filled it with nice warm water... I watched you swim around, enjoying your tank for the first time in ages. But then you started to swerve and choke and spasm...
I wish I could've saved you, Comet. I really do. I wish I could've done more for you. Seeing you die in a cup in my hands was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. There's a part of me that's hoping you'll just get yourself off the floor, swim around and blow bubbles like it never happened...
I named you Comet after my favorite hummingbird, because you made me happy like seeing a Red-Tailed Comet would. I named you Comet because I loved the way you darted around in the water. And I named you Comet because I made a wish on you, that you'd live, that I wouldn't get too attached and it wouldn't hurt if you left me because I hate goodbyes.
I love you, Comet. Every time I see a shooting star, I'll think of you.