The First Date - 3/3 + Epilogue
True to his word, Ianto did call Jack a cab. Instead of taking the cab to the Hub, however, Jack told the driver to head to Ianto’s house in Roath. Once there, he paid the cabbie an extra 20 pounds for him to return in the morning. When Jack stalks, he does it properly. It just wouldn’t do to have Ianto see Jack standing there come 7am.
From a certain point near the neighbor’s hedges, Jack could see directly into the sitting room. If he climbed the small tree, he could follow Ianto into the bedroom. And so, despite the fact that it was January in Cardiff, Jack stood outside Ianto’s home all night. Had anyone asked, he would have adamantly denied he was keeping watch. No. The Great Captain Jack Harkness does not keep watch. Certainly not. The Great Captain Jack Harkness was merely gathering information.
Even Jack couldn’t convince himself of that one.
By the time Jack reached Ianto’s house, the younger man had already changed into grey flannel pyjama bottoms. Jack watched from the hedges as Ianto sat in front of his gas fireplace. Thanks to certain 51st Century upgrades, Jack had excellent eyesight; Ianto was flipping through a photo album, but Jack couldn’t make out the pictures. He watched, transfixed, as Ianto slowly drew one, then two photos from the album and placed them on the fire. After a moment or two, Ianto turned off the gas and headed upstairs.
An hour after Jack saw the bedroom light go off, he silently broke into Ianto’s house. He crept about the sitting room and found a piece of a photo that had fallen to the side of the fire. He pulled it out, carefully handling it so that it wouldn’t crumble in his hand. It was a black and white CCTV photo from the Hub. More than that, it was a photo of The Kiss. Ianto had obviously downloaded it after Jack left. Covering the photo with a tissue, Jack pocketed it and headed back outside, determined to keep watch (gather information, dammit!) until the sun rose. Of course, if he happened to see Ianto having one of his infamous nightmares, well then, it would only be neighborly of him to crawl in through the window and offer comfort.
Once morning came, and Ianto was still abed at his normal time, Jack saw the cabbie. He paid the cabbie an extra fare not to pick him up, determined to spend the day and find out just what Ianto was up to. He was, all in all, a very good stalker, and Ianto never knew he was there.
At first, Jack was going to stay in the tree. But then Ianto’s neighbor threatened to phone the police, and it was only the Harkness Grin that convinced her Jack was trying to plan a surprise party for Ianto, and he was not, in fact, Jack the Ripper. Once she found out that he was the Jack that Ianto ‘occasionally’ mentioned, she invited him in for a cup of tea.
“Have t’say m’dear, I sure am glad you’re back from your trip,” Mrs. Caskill said, blowing on her tea.
Jack hid his grimace. Ianto had spoiled hot beverages for him. Mrs. Caskill meant well, but she should stick to offering glasses of water.
“Oh?” he asked politely. “Why’s that?”
“It’s just that my Ianto’s been in a bad place since you left. Haven’t seen ‘im like that since his poor mam was taken away.”
“You knew Ianto when he was young?”
“Oh of course, Captain. Practically raised ‘im and ‘is brother when his mam went to that hospital. His poor Tad tried, bless him, but with a failing store and two young boys, it was just too much for ‘im to handle alone.”
Jack took a bite of the chocolate biscuit. “What do you mean by a bad place?”
Mrs. Caskill took a moment. She loved Ianto like a son, and he wouldn’t want her talking about him like this. But sometimes that boy was just too stubborn for his own good. “Now, Captain, I’m an old fashioned woman, I am. Don’t know too much about modern relationships. But when my Ianto came back from London after that terrorist incident, well, he just wasn’t the Ianto I knew. Took ages to get ‘im to come over again. Barely saw ‘im, in fact. Told me he was busy at work, but I could see what it really was.”
“What did you see?”
“I was a Red Cross nurse, Captain, in Korea. Saw my fair share of boys and horror. It’s all in the eyes, you know. My Ianto, my sweet little Ianto, had those eyes. Was like that for months. He lost weight, wouldn’t talk to me. And then one day he came storming home. Locked ‘imself in his house for nearly two and a half weeks. Then I see ‘im coming out with boxes and boxes of things. He put them in his car and drove away. When he came back, I made him let me inside. Everything was dark, there were broken glasses on the floor, like he’d thrown ‘em. Not a speck of food in the house. So I bundle ‘im up, drag ‘im over here, and cook for ‘im. He won’t tell me what happened, mind, but when he fell asleep on the couch, he had awful nightmares. Called your name and a Lisa. But slowly he got better. He started smiling again, laughing and joking, and coming over for biscuits like he used to. Then one day he just stopped. Stopped coming home even. I dragged ‘im over one day when I finally saw ‘im come home. His eyes, Captain. They were dead again. He’d stopped eating, you could tell, was exhausted. I asked what was wrong and he said you’d gone away.”
Jack looked away from Mrs. Caskill’s piercing gaze. After traveling the universe, he knew there was nothing more dangerous than a mother protecting her young. And Mrs. Caskill thought of herself as Ianto’s surrogate mother.
“Yeah,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t do such a great job there. Something happened and I had to leave right away, but I didn’t…”
“You didn’t do right by ‘im,” Mrs. Caskill said. Jack chuckled.
“I don’t think I’ve ever done right by him. But I want to try.”
Mrs. Caskill was quite for a moment, sizing up this Captain Harkness. “You have old eyes too,” she said quietly. “I don’t know yet, but I think you may be good for ‘im.”
Jack nodded. “I try. I always try.”
At that, Jack jumped as he heard car doors slam shut. He looked out the window and saw three ominous-looking men approaching Ianto’s house. He jumped to his feet as he saw one man take the safety off a pistol and hide it in his jacket pocket.
“Uh, thanks for the tea, Mrs. Caskill. I’ve gotta go see Ianto now,” Jack said quickly as he threw on his greatcoat.
“Jack,” Mrs. Caskill called as Jack tried to leave. Jack turned back, his hand on the doorknob. “He won’t tell me who they are. They come every few weeks, and he always has a limp after. He won’t go to the police either. Help him, please.”
Jack nodded and flew out the door, greatcoat tails flying heroically out behind him. He crept silently into Ianto’s back garden, sliding in through the unlocked kitchen door. He waited, hidden behind the wall, as Ianto spoke with the men.
“We’re here for the final payment Mr. Jones. You’d better make good this time,” Ominous Guy #1 (as he would forever be named in Jack’s head) said.
“I have the money this time. I told you I just needed a few more days. Just let me get it from the kitchen and we’ll be done,” Ianto replied, his voice getting louder as he came towards the kitchen. He jumped and shrieked (he would deny that part for the rest of his life) when he saw Jack huddled against the wall, Webley at the ready.
“Jack?” he hissed. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Ianto, get down!” Jack hissed back. “Who are those men?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Ianto said as he reached for a satchel on the counter. “I don’t have to see them ever again.” Ianto walked back out into the sitting room. “Here it is. All of it. We’re done now, right?”
Ominous Guy #1 dumped the money onto the sofa and started counting. Jack released the safety on the Webley as Ominous Guy #2 stepped up behind Ianto and put a hand on his shoulder.
“It had better be right this time,” Ominous Guy #2 said. “Or I’ll make it so you can’t walk tomorrow.” Ianto just rolled his eyes. After facing down cybermen, cannibals, Abbadon and the Doctor, mundane threats simply aren’t that threatening. Besides, it wasn’t like Ianto’d never been hurt before. He’d just have to think up another clever reason for the bruises. Fall down the stairs maybe? He could say he was tipsy after the dinner last yet. Yes, a fall would work. Covers just about everything.
Finally Ominous Guy #1 looked back up and smiled. “We’re all through then, Mr. Jones. Pleasure doing business with you. If you have any further needs, please come see us again.” With that, all three men left, their car throwing up small stones as they sped away.
Once they were gone and Ianto wasn’t in danger from an ill-timed heroic effort, Jack ran out into the sitting room. He threw the Webley on the sofa and ran his hands up and down Ianto’s arms. Ianto stared at him suspiciously.
“What?” Ianto asked.
Jack kept rubbing. “You’re ok? You’re not hurt?”
Ianto shook his head. Now that he was safe, Jack could really lose it.
“Who the hell were those guys, Ianto?”
Ianto rolled his eyes. “I believe they’re called loansharks.”
“What the hell are you doing with loansharks?!”
“Paying back a loan, obviously.”
“Enough snark, Ianto! Those guys could kill you. What’s going on?” Jack demanded.
Suddenly aware that this part of his life was finally over, Ianto collapsed to the floor.
Jack followed him, very, very afraid. “Ianto? Come on Ianto, what’s going on?” As Ianto pulled his knees into his chest and started to cry, Jack enveloped him, wrapping his arms around Ianto’s shuddering form.
“It’s over…It’s over…” Ianto repeated again and again.
“Shh, Ianto, shh. It’s ok. Whatever it is, it’s ok,” Jack crooned. When Ianto finally got himself under control, he leant back into Jack.
“What are you doing here, Jack?”
“I came to make sure you’re ok. I saw those guys, and Gods, Ianto! What are you doing with loansharks?”
“I needed the money.”
Jack cupped Ianto’s face. “What on earth could you need money so badly for? Ianto, if you have a problem or an addiction or something, tell me and I’ll help you.”
Ianto started laughing. “An addiction? Seriously? Like I’m going to start using drugs while chasing down aliens and carrying a gun!”
“Then what was the money for?”
“It was…it was for Lisa.” Ianto turned his head away. Lisa and That Night were non-topics between Ianto and Jack. Too many emotions, too many things said, to have an actual discussion.
“Ianto,” Jack said quietly, “Please tell me.”
Ianto sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Lisa..she…She needed things. Supplies. And I had to get her here and set her up. And then I had to pay people off, like Tanizaki, and all the others who couldn’t help…”
“So you borrowed money from a loanshark?” Ianto nodded. “Jesus, Ianto. What if you couldn’t pay it back?”
“There were some times when it was difficult. I had to take on a second typing job. Good thing the Tourist Office doesn’t get much actual business.”
“But...But Torchwood pays well. And I know you got a settlement from Canary Warf.”
“Blood money,” Ianto scoffed. “I couldn’t keep it. Not after what happened. I gave it away to charities.”
Ianto pulled back and Jack rubbed his face. “So you made a deal with a loanshark. Gods, Ianto. Why didn’t you come to me?”
“And tell you what?” Ianto yelled. “Hi Jack, could you spot me a couple dozen thousand to pay back the money I used to commit treason? That would have gone over real well!”
“I could have helped, Ianto. I would have helped!”
“I didn’t want your help! I clean up my own messes!”
“Well you don’t have to do it on your own anymore. Not when I’m here. Let me help you, Ianto, please!”
“And how long are you here for Jack? Why do you keep doing this?”
“Doing what, Ianto?” Jack asked, completely confused as to why Ianto wasn’t throwing himself in Jack’s arms. All the damsels in distress did that in the books.
“Making us out to be more than what we are!” Ianto yelled back. He stood up quickly and practically ran over to the door, throwing it open. “You can leave now,” he said quietly.
Jack slowly stood and kept his body as non-threatening as possible. “I don’t want to leave, Ianto. We need to talk about this. What do you mean when you say ‘more than we are’?”
Ianto scowled. “Fuck buddies Jack. Good ones, I’ll admit, but fuck buddies.”
Jack started laughing hysterically, doubling up, tears cascading down his face. “Jesus, Ianto, is that what you think?” he asked as soon as he could form sentences. Ianto just watched him, slightly concerned that his boss was having a mental breakdown in his house. He was certain there were forms for this, but damn if he could remember. There had to be some sort of union regulation about Agony Aunt pay or something.
Jack straightened himself and wiped his face. “You really do, don’t you? You really think…Gods, Ianto, why do you think I….All that time on the Valiant, do you know what kept me going?” Ianto shook his head.
“You did. I kept thinking of you, of what I’d left behind. Not the team, well I did think of the team, but mostly you. All that time he had me, all the times he tortured and killed me, I thought about how I had to survive to get back to you.”
Ianto shuddered. “But, you left. And Gwen…”
“Gwen is my Rose Tyler. She reminds me so much of Rose, of her innocence, her spirit. And I do love her. And maybe if things were different, I’d be with her. But I…I want to be with you, Ianto. I chose you.”
Ianto shook his head, trying desperately not to cry at the unfairness of it all. Jack admitted he loved Gwen, but couldn’t even say the word when it came to him.
“You love her, but settled for me,” he whispered.
Jack took a few steps closer and wrapped his arms around Ianto’s shoulders. “I’m not settling. I could never settle for you. You are not second place.”
He tilted Ianto’s head up to look in his eyes. Ianto was trying so hard not to believe, trying desperately not to get hurt again.
“I can’t, Jack,” he said. “I can’t do it again just to have you leave or go to her.”
Jack growled. “I will tell you, every day if need be, that I don’t want to be with her. I can’t promise not to go again, but I will always do everything in my power to come back. Please, please believe me.”
Ianto closed his eyes. “I don’t know if I can, Jack.”
Jack dropped his face to kiss Ianto’s lips. “Let me try to earn that trust, Ianto,” his whispered, his voice ghosting across Ianto’s lips. “Just give me a chance, please.”
Ianto was silent for a few moments before he gave a slow nod. “Ok,” he said quietly. “Do you… I mean, I did miss you. Could we go upstairs and…”
Jack pulled back and looked at Ianto sternly. “I won’t be just a fuck buddy, Ianto. I’m not going to pressure you, and I certainly don’t expect you to do anything.”
“Please, Jack,” Ianto begged. “It’s been so long since we’ve done anything. All those months, there was no one else. There just couldn’t be. Please…”
Jack placed a kiss to Ianto’s temple. “Ok. If you want to. Just, just let me do the work, ok? Let me earn coming back to you? I imagined so many different things during that year.”
Ianto nodded and started walking up the stairs to the bedroom. He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Looking back, he saw Jack reaching out to him. He laced his fingers through Jack’s, watching how the pale and tanned skin intertwined, wondering if he was going to get his heart broken again. But Jack was right, he had to give him a real chance. If Jack was going to try, Ianto could at least make some effort. He pulled Jack up behind him, and the pair walked to the bedroom together.