Maybe my friend Peter can tell me what to do
I have officially given up. I can't be with him. it's not going to happen. sucks. I gave it some thought and I don't want him, I want the idea of him. I didn't love him, although I know I thought I did. that's what sucks about it, I was the only one in the relationship. and when it ended, I was so mad at him. because I never got the confirmation that someone could feel for me what I felt for him. and it wasn't even love now that I look back on it. that's what sucks even more. I have no idea what to do now. I'm lost. *sad that it took me an hour just to figure out that much and be able to type it out*
people really piss me off. I don't even know if it was about me. maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. it still pissed me off, either way. dumb bitch. dumb close minded bitch.
on good notes, got to see my boys Strictly Ivy League play at State Theater.. they were fucking spectacular! D.O. wasn't drunk until he got off the stage so things went smoothly for a little while. everyone else then got really drunk and D.O. came over to me and sat down and pulled me on his lap and we were just talking and everyone got upset and all eyes were on us. so they all got pissed because they were all drunk and yelling ensued and fingers were pointed and lies were told and once again, I was the one apologizing for things that I knew I shouldn't be apologizing for. that right there is half of the reason I left Bamboo, too much drama and too many people with too much history that I don't want to get mixed up in. apparently it doesn't matter that I stayed up all night making shirts and cd's the night before the show because the guy making the shirts totally dicked us over. and then went to the show still up from 2 days before. whatever, I still had a lot of fun, and got a free t-shirt out of it.
got to see matty a little while back. we hung out. so much fun. really missed him and have been trying to hang out again, but shit happens. great that I will always have someone who knows me so well even if we haven't talked in months.
went sky diving again with Mr. Wade. he got a video done of his dive and they filmed the wrong guy so he got to go again for free! bastard. I WILL go again. oh, and on the way, got a speeding ticket. well not really, he changed it to a traffic violation. nice guy, I was going 80 in a 45, but he clocked me at 64 yay. so only $100 instead of some crazy amount and no points on my license if I take the class. well think I'm going to leave on a good note. peace out.