Soft Tears
Jun wondered how this came to be. One minute he was sitting on his couch watching News Zero, and the next minute, his heart was beating so fast because Mao was sitting next to him. He didn’t know how it happened so suddenly. He only recalled opening the door for her, and the next minute, she had her head tilted against his shoulder, and making his shirt wet with her tears. Jun slowly wrapped one arm around her while the other hand reached for the remote control, trying to use the slightest movement to turn off the television.
He turned to look at her. Indeed, she had not stopped crying ever since she sat on his couch. Jun was puzzled, yet he knew why she was so sad. He knew from the bottom of his heart that it must be his doing. Jun couldn’t help but to place his hand on her face. Anything, he would do anything to erase her sorrow. It hurt so much to see her like this. He gently stroked her face, and brushed strands of hair away from her moist face.
Mao was shaking against his body, and pulling on his shoulders. With one arm supporting her back, Jun moved his body closer to her, and leaned forward. It felt like a lifetime for him; his lips moved so slowly until they touched her forehead, such that she didn’t even realize he was kissing her. Mao didn’t react much. She continued crying, almost like she was supposed to cry. Jun’s hand crept up to her head and pulled her closer to him.
She was pressed so hard against Jun’s neck that she almost couldn’t breathe, and that was what made her break her crying spell. She didn’t stop crying, of course. She only looked up at Jun with teary eyes that were about to burst like a bomb.
“S...o...rr...rr....y....” Mao said in between choked gulps.
Jun cast his intense brown eyes on her which were full of concern. He brought his fingers to her eyes and caressed them softly before bringing his lips to hers. He left them there, and didn’t initiate anything. He didn’t know why he did that, but he just thought it was the most appropriate thing to do.
“I...dunno bwhyy I’mmm bryinngg buu..ttt..” Mao tried to speak against Jun’s lips which were pressed against hers.
Jun laid his hands on either side of Mao’s neck and let her talk.
“I really don’t know why the tears are flowing. I don’t want to cry. I know it’s not worth it. I keep telling myself that I won’t cry. I knew this would happen one day. I...”
Jun cut her off by administering a suffocating kiss to her lips which gradually became a soft sucking motion. Mao’s eyes were now closed, but tears continued to trickle down her cheek.
When Jun broke off, he found her sitting on his lap, snuggling comfortably against him. Her lips trembled after the kiss although her body seemed more relaxed now. He took a second to gaze at her and lightly brushed her lips with his finger.
Why do you seem to always come to me when you have problems with him? Do you know how I feel when I see you like this? I want to comfort you but I don’t know how to. In the end, you will go back to him. And I will be left in the cold and dark tunnel again.
Gently, Jun took Mao into his arms, fully embracing her. Mao responded by digging her face deeper into Jun’s chest. They stayed like that for a while. Jun had a thousand things going through his head. With Mao’s vulnerable form seeking him like this, what was he supposed to do? He rested his head on Mao’s soft hair, still running through his field of thoughts.
She finally stopped crying, and her eyes seemed to be closed. Jun looked down at her serene expression. If only he could erase all the complicated things that remained in their relationship, he could get what he wanted. But it would never be as easy as that. Nevertheless, he had to do something. He slipped a hand below her legs, and with his remaining arm supporting her back, he cradled her.
To his surprise, Mao didn’t struggle. She merely opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her expression seemed to be asking, pleading him for something. And he gave her what she wanted. While taking his sweet time to walk, he lowered his head to kiss her on the lips again. This time, a proper kiss, so soft and tender, it was as if they had been lovers for ages.
He sucked on her lips for so long that he didn’t realize that he already reached the door to his room. He kicked it open and gently laid Mao on the bed, breaking the kiss. As Jun moved away from her to close the door shut, he felt something restrain his hand, preventing him from moving. Of course he could still move if he tugged harder; he knew those hands holding his arm were so frail but he chose not to. Instead, he placed his hand on hers, and caressed it gently before nodding at her to give her assurance. After shutting the door tight, he took his place on the bed, next to her. He bent over her and gazed at her for a moment.
Her eyes seemed like they wanted something from him, begging him, as if she needed it to continue living. Jun wondered what she wanted. She didn’t need to tell him; he knew that he had just broken up with her, and she needed someone to lend her a shoulder. And she had chosen him. Just what did she want? He knew exactly what he wanted but he was afraid that she didn’t want it and all the possibilities would be burnt into ashes just like that.
But his body acted of its own accord.
He took her in his arms and started to kiss her on her lips again. He didn’t need to force his tongue into her mouth because she let him in so easily. He could feel her fingers pressing at his throat, making it harder for him to breathe. But it was no deterrent for him to kiss her more furiously. In fact, what was driving him on was how she was trying to kiss him back.
So intoxicating. Even alcohol was milder than this.
His fingers were tangled in her hair and he never stopped until the phone outside rang. Jun backed away and slumped on the bed beside her. He turned away from her, ignoring the phone call.
“Jun...” Her weak voice called out to him. Jun remained slumped on the bed, lying on his chest now. It’s as if he didn’t want to face her. He remained silent, until Mao reached under his shirt to touch the bare skin of his back.
Jun wriggled. His skin was so sensitive to Mao’s touch. He could hardly take it anymore. He arched his back, making her withdraw her fingers. Then, he stripped waist upwards and dumped his shirt next to his pillow, exposing his chest which was drenched in sweat to her. He slipped his arm underneath her fragile body and made her tilt her neck backwards before he started to devour her. First, he kissed the skin on her neck all over, and then he licked and nibbled endlessly. Mao felt her heart pound with every slight movement of Jun’s, and whenever her body writhed uncontrollably, Jun only tightened his grip on her.
“Ahh....Jun....ah....” She moaned helplessly. But it only made Jun wilder.
Jun continued to kiss her neck slowly, moving his lips along his skin as softly and tenderly as he could. He lashed his tongue out at intervals, when he felt his heart almost pop out of his ribs. His arms wrapped tighter around her fragile body when he felt her groping around for something to hold on to.
“Jun, please... no.... Jun...” Mao whimpered, forming incoherent words.
Jun ended up lying on Mao’s body, touching her with only his lips, and his arms still beneath her.
“Jun...”
“Urghh...” Jun moaned as Mao wrapped her arms around his naked back and caressed the sweaty skin beneath her fingers.
Just when she thought he had calmed down enough for her to get her turn, Jun broke free and turned his back away from her. He reached for his shirt on his pillow and started to put it on but he stopped when he heard Mao’s empty voice pleading him.
“Jun, don’t... Please... I need you tonight.... just tonight, please...”
Jun sighed. He turned to look at Mao and stroked her hair. Mao snuggled closer to him, grabbing him as if she would be lost without him. Jun was lost in thought. How nice it would be if he could continue touching her hair like this for as long as he liked. Sadly, the world wasn’t so simple.
“Mao, you know... I’m not sure if I should...”
“Jun....” Mao tugged at his pants, begging him.
***
Mao slowly planted soft kisses on Jun’s bare back as he slept soundly on his bed. She didn’t want to stop touching him. If only she hadn’t been so stupid to choose the jerk that had dumped her over Jun, she wouldn’t have to suffer. Why didn’t she choose Jun from the start? She knew that Jun had been interested in her, but he always kept it to himself because he knew she was happy with him.
She let her body relax on top of Jun’s and left her lips lingering on the back of his neck while she recalled all that happened the night before.
“Mao, I don’t want to do it if we are going separate ways after tonight. I know why you came to me, but I won’t do it if I am just your pillow! It won’t mean anything!”
Jun was still stroking her hair as he spoke, his fingers not making any indication of his slightly unhappy tone in his voice. Mao stared into Jun’s eyes for a moment. She could see that he was tired of how she had been treating him. If only it wasn’t so complicated. But life was never easy, and people will never be easy to understand either. She frowned and snuggled closer to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jun felt his arms touching his skin, holding him softly. He could feel the emotional fatigue she was feeling; it penetrated through his spine.
Breaking the silence and tenseness of the atmosphere, she spoke again.
“Jun… I’m sorry, Jun… but every time I feel this emptiness in my chest, my heart calls out to you. And I have this strong feeling of how much I need you, like you are my drug. Like now… Jun, please…”
Hearing her weak voice, Jun felt like he was the only one who could save her from whatever disaster that was befalling her. But he was.
Jun sighed and bent down to press his face close to Mao’s. He placed his palms on either side of her face.
“I want you to know that I’m doing this because I love you, not because of anything else. And after this, I will stop at nothing if you try to leave me. I won’t let you leave my side.”
Mao nodded and tears escaped her eyes again as she puckered her lips to kiss Jun.
“Awake?”
Mao let her fingers dance on Jun’s back lazily in reply. Jun pulled her underneath him and took her into his arms, embracing her tightly. She let her face bury itself in the contours of his chest.
Mao heard Jun whisper in a low voice,”I’ll never let you go…”
-end-
Comments are loved! :)
He turned to look at her. Indeed, she had not stopped crying ever since she sat on his couch. Jun was puzzled, yet he knew why she was so sad. He knew from the bottom of his heart that it must be his doing. Jun couldn’t help but to place his hand on her face. Anything, he would do anything to erase her sorrow. It hurt so much to see her like this. He gently stroked her face, and brushed strands of hair away from her moist face.
Mao was shaking against his body, and pulling on his shoulders. With one arm supporting her back, Jun moved his body closer to her, and leaned forward. It felt like a lifetime for him; his lips moved so slowly until they touched her forehead, such that she didn’t even realize he was kissing her. Mao didn’t react much. She continued crying, almost like she was supposed to cry. Jun’s hand crept up to her head and pulled her closer to him.
She was pressed so hard against Jun’s neck that she almost couldn’t breathe, and that was what made her break her crying spell. She didn’t stop crying, of course. She only looked up at Jun with teary eyes that were about to burst like a bomb.
“S...o...rr...rr....y....” Mao said in between choked gulps.
Jun cast his intense brown eyes on her which were full of concern. He brought his fingers to her eyes and caressed them softly before bringing his lips to hers. He left them there, and didn’t initiate anything. He didn’t know why he did that, but he just thought it was the most appropriate thing to do.
“I...dunno bwhyy I’mmm bryinngg buu..ttt..” Mao tried to speak against Jun’s lips which were pressed against hers.
Jun laid his hands on either side of Mao’s neck and let her talk.
“I really don’t know why the tears are flowing. I don’t want to cry. I know it’s not worth it. I keep telling myself that I won’t cry. I knew this would happen one day. I...”
Jun cut her off by administering a suffocating kiss to her lips which gradually became a soft sucking motion. Mao’s eyes were now closed, but tears continued to trickle down her cheek.
When Jun broke off, he found her sitting on his lap, snuggling comfortably against him. Her lips trembled after the kiss although her body seemed more relaxed now. He took a second to gaze at her and lightly brushed her lips with his finger.
Why do you seem to always come to me when you have problems with him? Do you know how I feel when I see you like this? I want to comfort you but I don’t know how to. In the end, you will go back to him. And I will be left in the cold and dark tunnel again.
Gently, Jun took Mao into his arms, fully embracing her. Mao responded by digging her face deeper into Jun’s chest. They stayed like that for a while. Jun had a thousand things going through his head. With Mao’s vulnerable form seeking him like this, what was he supposed to do? He rested his head on Mao’s soft hair, still running through his field of thoughts.
She finally stopped crying, and her eyes seemed to be closed. Jun looked down at her serene expression. If only he could erase all the complicated things that remained in their relationship, he could get what he wanted. But it would never be as easy as that. Nevertheless, he had to do something. He slipped a hand below her legs, and with his remaining arm supporting her back, he cradled her.
To his surprise, Mao didn’t struggle. She merely opened her eyes and looked up at him. Her expression seemed to be asking, pleading him for something. And he gave her what she wanted. While taking his sweet time to walk, he lowered his head to kiss her on the lips again. This time, a proper kiss, so soft and tender, it was as if they had been lovers for ages.
He sucked on her lips for so long that he didn’t realize that he already reached the door to his room. He kicked it open and gently laid Mao on the bed, breaking the kiss. As Jun moved away from her to close the door shut, he felt something restrain his hand, preventing him from moving. Of course he could still move if he tugged harder; he knew those hands holding his arm were so frail but he chose not to. Instead, he placed his hand on hers, and caressed it gently before nodding at her to give her assurance. After shutting the door tight, he took his place on the bed, next to her. He bent over her and gazed at her for a moment.
Her eyes seemed like they wanted something from him, begging him, as if she needed it to continue living. Jun wondered what she wanted. She didn’t need to tell him; he knew that he had just broken up with her, and she needed someone to lend her a shoulder. And she had chosen him. Just what did she want? He knew exactly what he wanted but he was afraid that she didn’t want it and all the possibilities would be burnt into ashes just like that.
But his body acted of its own accord.
He took her in his arms and started to kiss her on her lips again. He didn’t need to force his tongue into her mouth because she let him in so easily. He could feel her fingers pressing at his throat, making it harder for him to breathe. But it was no deterrent for him to kiss her more furiously. In fact, what was driving him on was how she was trying to kiss him back.
So intoxicating. Even alcohol was milder than this.
His fingers were tangled in her hair and he never stopped until the phone outside rang. Jun backed away and slumped on the bed beside her. He turned away from her, ignoring the phone call.
“Jun...” Her weak voice called out to him. Jun remained slumped on the bed, lying on his chest now. It’s as if he didn’t want to face her. He remained silent, until Mao reached under his shirt to touch the bare skin of his back.
Jun wriggled. His skin was so sensitive to Mao’s touch. He could hardly take it anymore. He arched his back, making her withdraw her fingers. Then, he stripped waist upwards and dumped his shirt next to his pillow, exposing his chest which was drenched in sweat to her. He slipped his arm underneath her fragile body and made her tilt her neck backwards before he started to devour her. First, he kissed the skin on her neck all over, and then he licked and nibbled endlessly. Mao felt her heart pound with every slight movement of Jun’s, and whenever her body writhed uncontrollably, Jun only tightened his grip on her.
“Ahh....Jun....ah....” She moaned helplessly. But it only made Jun wilder.
Jun continued to kiss her neck slowly, moving his lips along his skin as softly and tenderly as he could. He lashed his tongue out at intervals, when he felt his heart almost pop out of his ribs. His arms wrapped tighter around her fragile body when he felt her groping around for something to hold on to.
“Jun, please... no.... Jun...” Mao whimpered, forming incoherent words.
Jun ended up lying on Mao’s body, touching her with only his lips, and his arms still beneath her.
“Jun...”
“Urghh...” Jun moaned as Mao wrapped her arms around his naked back and caressed the sweaty skin beneath her fingers.
Just when she thought he had calmed down enough for her to get her turn, Jun broke free and turned his back away from her. He reached for his shirt on his pillow and started to put it on but he stopped when he heard Mao’s empty voice pleading him.
“Jun, don’t... Please... I need you tonight.... just tonight, please...”
Jun sighed. He turned to look at Mao and stroked her hair. Mao snuggled closer to him, grabbing him as if she would be lost without him. Jun was lost in thought. How nice it would be if he could continue touching her hair like this for as long as he liked. Sadly, the world wasn’t so simple.
“Mao, you know... I’m not sure if I should...”
“Jun....” Mao tugged at his pants, begging him.
***
Mao slowly planted soft kisses on Jun’s bare back as he slept soundly on his bed. She didn’t want to stop touching him. If only she hadn’t been so stupid to choose the jerk that had dumped her over Jun, she wouldn’t have to suffer. Why didn’t she choose Jun from the start? She knew that Jun had been interested in her, but he always kept it to himself because he knew she was happy with him.
She let her body relax on top of Jun’s and left her lips lingering on the back of his neck while she recalled all that happened the night before.
“Mao, I don’t want to do it if we are going separate ways after tonight. I know why you came to me, but I won’t do it if I am just your pillow! It won’t mean anything!”
Jun was still stroking her hair as he spoke, his fingers not making any indication of his slightly unhappy tone in his voice. Mao stared into Jun’s eyes for a moment. She could see that he was tired of how she had been treating him. If only it wasn’t so complicated. But life was never easy, and people will never be easy to understand either. She frowned and snuggled closer to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Jun felt his arms touching his skin, holding him softly. He could feel the emotional fatigue she was feeling; it penetrated through his spine.
Breaking the silence and tenseness of the atmosphere, she spoke again.
“Jun… I’m sorry, Jun… but every time I feel this emptiness in my chest, my heart calls out to you. And I have this strong feeling of how much I need you, like you are my drug. Like now… Jun, please…”
Hearing her weak voice, Jun felt like he was the only one who could save her from whatever disaster that was befalling her. But he was.
Jun sighed and bent down to press his face close to Mao’s. He placed his palms on either side of her face.
“I want you to know that I’m doing this because I love you, not because of anything else. And after this, I will stop at nothing if you try to leave me. I won’t let you leave my side.”
Mao nodded and tears escaped her eyes again as she puckered her lips to kiss Jun.
“Awake?”
Mao let her fingers dance on Jun’s back lazily in reply. Jun pulled her underneath him and took her into his arms, embracing her tightly. She let her face bury itself in the contours of his chest.
Mao heard Jun whisper in a low voice,”I’ll never let you go…”
-end-
Comments are loved! :)