There's a warm wind blowing...

[showbiz287]

It's been a year and and a half since I've seen you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel or see you. I know you're not there though. I imagine you there. I feel like I'm crazy sometimes imagining all the conversations we'd have. Or imagining you're there to share in my successes. I have all these memories good and bad of you associated with places that never seem to leave my head. I didn't know what you were going through at the time. I sympathized with you, but I didn't really know how it felt. I've only recently tasted what you were talking about. I've yet to meet anyone that I've felt the same way about. I didn't know so many guys who I thought were nice turn out to be such scum bags. I haven't seen you in a year and half, but I'm sure I still love you. You know this, I've told you. I also know that you are happy, and I could never take that away from you. You invited me to your show next weekend, and I want to go. I want to see you again badly, but I'm afraid of how seeing you again will make me feel. I'm afraid I wont know how to act when I see you. Can I hug you, kiss you on the cheek...will I get in trouble for it? will your boyfriend be there? What can and can't I say? I'm afraid of the 45 min drive home afterwards alone with my thoughts. (nothing suicidal or anything) Just driving down memory lane with your image and smell and voice freshly etched in my mind. It makes my imagination of you ever more tangible. I miss you incredibly. I dont let it devour my life anymore, but I still miss you. Has it gotten easier? Yes, but it hasn't gone away. I'm not saying that my life is miserable. I am very proud of my accomplishments. "Life goes on" as they say and I'm living well...

"I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in,
and I don't want to change your life.
But, theres a warm wind blowin' the stars around,
and I'd really love to see you tonight."