cant believe i fell again
At this moment I hate you. I hate you for making me believe that you actually cared. And its not even like this is the first time you've done this.....its happened many times in the past eight months. Its all lies. I wish you would just tell the fucking truth so that I would stop caring and accept what we really are. You have made me think that we have hope and in reality the only substance in our "relationship" comes from me because I am the only one who actually gives a fuck. Why did you have to say you loved me? Was time to say something nice to me because every couple of weeks you are calling me non stop and two days later it ends. So I guess the real question is why the fuck did I believe you? I ignored that voice in my head that said you were lying that you didnt mean it. You were just playing me. So now here I am crying and typing this because I was an idiot and the worst part is that I miss you. I want to be with you. I fucking hate you. You made me fall in love with you once and I refuse to do it again but I miss you I fucking miss you. Why couldnt you just let me detach my emotions from you? I had finally learned how to do that. After months and months of having hope I learned to not take it personally. Now I have to start all over again. Now I get to cry myself asleep and pray that you will finally call when you wont because you are too busy hanging out with some other girl. I hate you. Maybe if I say it enough I'll actually start to feel it.