Scraps of a Temporary Mind
it's how quickly something can be a problem. i decided last week to start tracking all of my expenses, all moneys flowing in and out of my possession, in order to better control my spending. what a curve ball. i guess in my mind i always thought gas could reach this point. it did temporarily a couple of years ago in certain areas, but no cause for alarm. now it's inescapable. i filled up yesterday at 3.09 and now i should be happy? please. i've already driven 70 miles and haven't made $40 in tips. in addition, apparently higher ups at larosa's want to start requiring we report more of our tips. apparently $1 for every 6 miles driven on our final mileage calculation. curt ran his checkout. he made $30 in tips. apparently under this new rule, he was supposed to claim $12 of his tips which would be taken out on his pay check. come on, that's almost half his tips. this world is getting fucking backwards. if that is really enforced it won't even be worth driving anymore, for anyone. you add in maintenance on a car and it's just not viable. so what all this means is that should these two things persist, i really won't have any choice but to find a new job. not like that was a new concept or anything, but after losing my only two prospects, i'm not sure where to go for new work that'll suit my needs.
so i was planning on curbing some of my lazier habits and now i'm going to have to work even harder. it's ridiculous. now i won't be able to go to see my friends in cincinnati but maybe once a week at most. i was going to focus more on eating organic foods to work on my health, but i probably won't be able to afford that. i need new clothes as i have only one pair of shorts and weather's already gotten pretty hot. nope probably not.
other notables currently effected by shit economy.
dandybeards and wil-o-ee shows this week. both i haven't seen in forever, but now i can't do it. it's like 20 miles to drive each way and although i don't have to spend dough on drinks, i would probably want to. and there's always the fact that my friends wouldn't go so i'd probably be staring down the walls all by my lonesome = not appealing.
cheese barn, canada, kent, cleveland. all places i wanted to visit this summer, but there's just no way it's happening because i don't have a good enough reason to go other than to enjoy myself. is that really important?
BRMC in columbus. i'm really only still doing this because my friends and i made plans. i don't want to back out on them. i can still afford it, but if they're still set on drinking, i guess i'll have to reinvest in good old king cobra. hopefully that's still cheap.
west coast scouting mission. i really don't know how ed and i think we can afford this one. neither of us really have the income for it especially if we do get a rental and drive all over california and oregon. i keep telling him plane tickets will suck too. oh how the hundreds will slip away, a little too easily.
school. i'm still at a crossroads with this. i know i'm returning and at the very least fulfilling requirements for an associates, but a big part of me wants to find another major and continue working toward the bachelor. at this point i'm not worried about finding the motivation. i'm confident it's there, but the money? shrug.
state wars tourney in chicago. i still don't know if i made the team, but assuming i do, that's more money to get there and a place to stay. i'm not missing the chance to get a famous pizza up there again either so expenses expenses. i'm not missing this chance though. i love this sport so much, to play up there with reps from all the states would be amazing.
west coast move. the REAL issue. when all the aforementioned expenses add up i'm concerned how much is going to be left for this. there's no question in my mind about doing it. i know i have to. i just don't know how it's going to shake out. i'm pretty worried about it. it's going to require a lot of bread, not just for the move itself, but to establish myself. my plan's to have enough to sustain myself for a few months in case i can't get a reasonable job or if something goes awry. the last thing i want is to have to return to hamilton. greatest fear ever right there.
lots of strands in ole duder's head. i guess 25's gonna be about sacrifice, growing up and moving on.
i almost forgot to mention the positive aspects of forced shut in status...
at least i'll have time to work on music. i still have a ton of books in the queue from years back. i need to work on my writing/film stuff again. i'll have more time to exercise and get in shape (this has never happen before, very little reason to think it'll happen now). i have to cut back on my eating habits to cut down on grocery bills or at least level it out if i do go the organic route. when i do go back to school i won't be inclined to wander off somewhere instead of studying (the computer's always served that purpose so this statement's really just pure optimism). maybe i'll finally sell or get rid of the stuff around the house that i'll need to shed to make moving easier.
maybe i'll just plain appreciate what i do have versus what i want.
sadly though, i've always desired a more minimalistic lifestyle so appreciation only goes so far. i am glad i don't care that much about new music anymore. what a money pit that would be.
-side note- it does feel sad in a way when people talk to me about new stuff coming out. i'm quite out of touch. i used to have a "cutting edge" kinda reputation, least that's what people claimed. it's fair to say i don't live up to that anymore. i guess it's just kinda upsetting to lose a distinguishable characteristic, especially something i still care a lot about... music. i suppose i'm getting more normal than i think.
so i was planning on curbing some of my lazier habits and now i'm going to have to work even harder. it's ridiculous. now i won't be able to go to see my friends in cincinnati but maybe once a week at most. i was going to focus more on eating organic foods to work on my health, but i probably won't be able to afford that. i need new clothes as i have only one pair of shorts and weather's already gotten pretty hot. nope probably not.
other notables currently effected by shit economy.
dandybeards and wil-o-ee shows this week. both i haven't seen in forever, but now i can't do it. it's like 20 miles to drive each way and although i don't have to spend dough on drinks, i would probably want to. and there's always the fact that my friends wouldn't go so i'd probably be staring down the walls all by my lonesome = not appealing.
cheese barn, canada, kent, cleveland. all places i wanted to visit this summer, but there's just no way it's happening because i don't have a good enough reason to go other than to enjoy myself. is that really important?
BRMC in columbus. i'm really only still doing this because my friends and i made plans. i don't want to back out on them. i can still afford it, but if they're still set on drinking, i guess i'll have to reinvest in good old king cobra. hopefully that's still cheap.
west coast scouting mission. i really don't know how ed and i think we can afford this one. neither of us really have the income for it especially if we do get a rental and drive all over california and oregon. i keep telling him plane tickets will suck too. oh how the hundreds will slip away, a little too easily.
school. i'm still at a crossroads with this. i know i'm returning and at the very least fulfilling requirements for an associates, but a big part of me wants to find another major and continue working toward the bachelor. at this point i'm not worried about finding the motivation. i'm confident it's there, but the money? shrug.
state wars tourney in chicago. i still don't know if i made the team, but assuming i do, that's more money to get there and a place to stay. i'm not missing the chance to get a famous pizza up there again either so expenses expenses. i'm not missing this chance though. i love this sport so much, to play up there with reps from all the states would be amazing.
west coast move. the REAL issue. when all the aforementioned expenses add up i'm concerned how much is going to be left for this. there's no question in my mind about doing it. i know i have to. i just don't know how it's going to shake out. i'm pretty worried about it. it's going to require a lot of bread, not just for the move itself, but to establish myself. my plan's to have enough to sustain myself for a few months in case i can't get a reasonable job or if something goes awry. the last thing i want is to have to return to hamilton. greatest fear ever right there.
lots of strands in ole duder's head. i guess 25's gonna be about sacrifice, growing up and moving on.
i almost forgot to mention the positive aspects of forced shut in status...
at least i'll have time to work on music. i still have a ton of books in the queue from years back. i need to work on my writing/film stuff again. i'll have more time to exercise and get in shape (this has never happen before, very little reason to think it'll happen now). i have to cut back on my eating habits to cut down on grocery bills or at least level it out if i do go the organic route. when i do go back to school i won't be inclined to wander off somewhere instead of studying (the computer's always served that purpose so this statement's really just pure optimism). maybe i'll finally sell or get rid of the stuff around the house that i'll need to shed to make moving easier.
maybe i'll just plain appreciate what i do have versus what i want.
sadly though, i've always desired a more minimalistic lifestyle so appreciation only goes so far. i am glad i don't care that much about new music anymore. what a money pit that would be.
-side note- it does feel sad in a way when people talk to me about new stuff coming out. i'm quite out of touch. i used to have a "cutting edge" kinda reputation, least that's what people claimed. it's fair to say i don't live up to that anymore. i guess it's just kinda upsetting to lose a distinguishable characteristic, especially something i still care a lot about... music. i suppose i'm getting more normal than i think.