Are You Living in the Real World?
i just finished watching the cowboy bebop movie and it made me think, not like i need another reason.
now i just thought about just where thinking is getting me. i think there's things in my mind, stuff i'd usually tell my friends. i guess i haven't felt like burdening them. maybe i don't feel it's worth their time. everyone's just so into their own lives anymore. it's so strange. i'm no different.
for once in a great while i have a direction, a goal, etc. i know what i'm doing, where it's going but some dead part of me keeps making me feel like it's just going through motions.
on a similar note, i joined the socialites and hung out two nights in a row this weekend. nothing newsworthy yeah? true, but it's a rehash of my past that was reaffirmation that i have passed myself by. i don't feel comfortable out and about anymore. i can't remember the last time i went drinking and didn't drive home with an empty, lonely feeling. i don't want it anymore.
reflecting, it seems when i talk with my part time friends, i'm acting. i get confused as to who they believe they are talking to. i feel like that every time i converse with someone i don't interact with a lot. sadly, the people i do are mostly coworkers. equally sad, the more i hang out with them, the more i realize it's only a matter of months before i might never see them again.
i confessed to a couple of people at work the other day that my "asshole" exterior was in fact a defense mechanism, employed instinctively to prevent deepening relationships. i keep envisioning storyboards and scripts in my mind. one in particular revolves solely around men's perceptions of women. to be exact, it's just a hopeful, dreaming male and a come-and-go type of female. it might not be accurate or realistic, but it's a perception i have of myself and a certain phase of interaction. anyway, a scene i'd have recur is of the male on a wide open landscape building a seemingly purposeless wall. i hope i don't have to explain that metaphor.
it doesn't take an expert to realize i'd be describing myself.
lately i've just been completely taken by things i see in the world. opinions, oh opinions. when i first felt i was slipping back into my own world, i got nervous and worrisome. now i'm finding it's inevitable and natural. i'm trying to be who i want to be. that means i'm not going to watch tv and i'm not going to enter conversations with a posture that i understand even one iota. i don't even bother mixing it up with my so called "indie" friends anymore, even old friends of mine that somehow ignored my involvement and formed "indie" tastes of their own. i can't hang. i try to pass the dialog along. it's hard. people harp on me for trying to be different. can't it just be that i like other shit? does anyone really think i enjoy not being able to relate commonly to others? give me a break will ya. should i fault myself for observing an elitist streak within the "indie" scene, particularly the woxy community? am i to blame myself for believing the music pumped out of said scene/community has gone stale? when people tell me it's just because i can't like anything popular, am i lying when i say that new music just bores me?
it's been said that artists/bands are placed within scenes and genres by anyone and everyone except for themselves. so who am i and who is anyone else if everyone's pretty much telling everyone else who they are. can anyone truly be his or herself without shutting out any and all interaction?
maybe this is why i've accused so many people of not knowing who they are. maybe no one does and they look every place but inside to figure it out.
the thing i was specifically referring to when i mentioned having not told my friends was the particular change i've undergone since a couple significant things happened. i mean when i dickheadedly ditched (i really just disappeared) my ex and soon after my grandmother passing. i've been trying to figure out that time ever since. i can't remember much outside of the facts. everything was so surreal. i just sort of went through it, in whatever way i had to. maybe the sting of the two was lessened by a hope of making music with ed and mike. that'd soon fall apart as well.
since that time, that year, i've been half dead to everything. i think i'm starting to get a lot of it back, but it's been hard. when i went to montréal i didn't really enjoy anything. i had a fun time and it's still my favorite place on earth, but my heart wasn't there. my head kept telling me how much i liked it, but there was a falsity about it all. that's how pretty much every significant moment has been up until this year. my three plus weeks in paris was probably the loneliest time since high school. the list goes on and on, like a pathetic groundhog day.
only recently i'm coming to terms with what it all means to me. i've been expecting too much from other people in regards to fulfilling my own personal dreams. when i rode in the cab from de gaulle i just kept thinking to myself, good god... i'm in fucking france. i basked in that feeling like a kid. now that i'm back, i've heard and i know in what ways people respect that about me. it's never going to be in the way i really desire. i guess it's an outgoing nature that keeps me always wanting to share those sensations.
i can't remember who i told, but i dropped my ego for a second and got honest about why my ex would still care for me. the music i like, my various talents, expression, how i was in bed... those things may have helped, but i think it had everything to do with how i could relate to her emotionally. on certain levels, i really could understand and empathize. she probably never felt that before. as the years pass, i feel worse about how everything ended, but it couldn't have happened any other way. i wish i could just make it right, but i know i'd make it worse. i don't know why what i had to give was enough for her to excuse my lesser qualities or why the same isn't true for me. i'm looking for the same thing. i guess i'm just too stubborn to accept it outside of some perceived perfection.
intermission for disclaimer
all of this is pretty much the epitome of what i never wanted my lj to become. some half baked, pretentious smattering of disjointed nothing thoughts. so why the abandon? i don't care about impressions anymore. i'm just doing it on impulse. what i write isn't going to change to a great degree who i am. it'll make me more open in a way and possibly more vulnerable, but that's only supposing i concern myself with anyone's reaction. the whole wall metaphor takes care of that though. sides, lj told me it's been nine weeks since i wrote anything so that's a whole lot of stewing to release. one day every nine weeks to crap a book doesn't seem so terrible.
/disclaimer
in seinfeld, kramer once said to george, "up here (pointing to his head) i'm already gone." i don't think i'll ever forget that line. in a similar fashion i might be heading to california like he had, but more importantly because that mentality has dominated my behavior ever since i decided i was leaving.
i told someone recently that everything seemed temporary. i think that was describing bar life specifically, but now more scenarios are becoming infected. maybe this is why i can't remember who says what to me and who i say things to. everything involving here just kinda bleeds together. i'm losing my sense of time too. i can't remember how long ago i went to seattle, how old i was when virginity escaped me, or what happens day to day. i have to really concentrate to figure out those things. i know it's not mind degradation or the like. it doesn't seem like apathy. i just don't know if i'm really living here anymore, in my head. i already touched on tasting my old scene. i used to live in bars and at shows. i can't stand them anymore. i don't enjoy the music most of the time and i feel downright uncomfortable. however, a lot of people i met in those days are still to be seen there when i stroll down memory lane. it's painful to experience.
i need to give it up and move on.
i was thinking earlier about how i never seem to have the or an answer. i hardly know what to say to people, unless it's reactionary quippery. for the time being, i'll just chalk it up to my constant changing and growth. after all, that's always been my goal, to always keep learning. perhaps i'm wearing to many hats and performing too many acts that i can't consistently maintain the correct performance for each audience. inevitably i'd mix it up and appropriately cause confusion.
so who am i then?
randomness
-art de ryan young- i told him at his show i didn't want to toot his horn so i withheld what i really wanted to say. that was that i think his work is my absolute favorite of all my friends who have ever attempted some kind. i really like the cartoon style with the really distinct emotions. i bet tons of people could stare into his faces and produce an infinite amount of impressions. on top of all that, the humor and commentary he conveys is priceless. maybe it's because i have a similar passionate/emotional but somewhat cynical bent. i wanted to buy his beef mart or a can of human beans, but for some reason it makes me feel weird to approach him about it. i'm also concerned where i'd put it and how good of care i could really give it. i'm probably just like a lot of other people, but ryan's charisma goes a long way. he's one person i regret not getting to know a bit more.
-cowboy bebop- i have such an affinity for this work. watching the movie again tonight reminded me. again with emotion, but somehow it pulls me in and really makes me care about the characters. maybe it's because their pain is on a basic human level. who can't understand separated love? i could go on and on, but really the show offers a little and a lot of everything. i love it.
-art, humor & dance- i'm loving and missing these three a lot. i keep manifesting my boredom into various artistic endeavors. with the paint program, i drew up a cat riding in a car firing a missile with a mushroom cloud backing. a couple of days ago, i wasted a good hour at work, fleshing out a pot inspired masterpiece. i started with a rastafarianesque character sticking his head out of a bong. then i added a psychedelic van with the back door open pouring out smoke and driven by another rastaesque male. then i topped it with a sun blowing smoke. i don't quite get why i'd do all that having smoked maybe half a dozen times in my entire life. i guess that lifestyle just has a lot of interesting and appealing character. it's colorful too, very distinct. my coworkers didn't believe me when i told i didn't really smoke. ha! suckers. after years of listening to luke vibert, pharcyde, roots manuva, and whoever else; i don't feel too detached from that scene regardless of my none usage.
the humor aspect appears in a lot of corners. jenny asked me at work recently why i was acting a certain way or something pertaining to my odd behavior. i hesitated for a second, then just admitted i like making people laugh. she kinda did an "aw" and said "that's cute" or something. is it that unbelievable that i'd be that lighthearted or have a purely good intention? it makes me wonder. i don't think there's anything in this world like making someone laugh for all the right reasons. i hope that part of me always stays young.
i just miss dancing a lot. that's one of those free feelings i get through expression. it's so loose and carefree. sadly, it doesn't suit just any instance. like certain jokes i'll tell or impressions i attempt, i don't produce on demand. i really just have to feel it through. it's natural. that's why i'm surprised when people see that video zach did and tell me i'm a good dancer. that whole production was hard and uncomfortable. honestly i'm not satisfied with the result. at least i can impress further though.
wrappys...
something the great glenna once ljed, a few music selections that've got me going recently:
--rising sun by kyoto jazz massive- this is mysterious. pilfered from limewire, i'm not sure if this is jazzanova or kyoto jazz massive or both. it's definitely a set/mix/performance. though it's not complete what i do have is fabulous. the second track in particular. adjectives fail me. kinda fake stringy synth lines over dancey house beats. it makes me dance in my car every time.
the other track in it is a significantly slower reminding me a bit of somewhere between apollo 440 and royksopp. male vocals inside gloomy trudging electronica. it's lovely emotion music.
--(closest) look out by matt pond PA- i liked this enough to bookend my traveling video. pop rock man. it's simple and bright. it definitely has a summery/fall feeling, like riding around in the car. i nabbed it from the woxy broadcast. shhh, don't tell! i'm the reason internet radio's going to die, not corporate greed.
i think this is when i probably loved whatever "indie" is/was the most. it makes me feel alive.
"it's still to hard to see where darkness goes"
--statistics by still flyin'- i probably could've picked three or four songs by still flyin'. talk about making me happy. it's somewhere between reggae ska and jam band. it's sure to rub some the wrong way. this is more pot music too. statistics is probably the poppiest of what i could've picked. horns, tons of vocal tracks (which i love), bouncey rhythm... ahh. man i love it. this is definitely my favorite band to come around in years and years. their style is something i've not had much exposure to. it's raw. god it's good.
"what about history?"
--it just don't stop by the roots- this honor is a long time coming. quite a while ago, i finally let illadelph halflife settle in and now i consider it probably the best hip hop record i've ever heard. it just don't stop is a perfect example of why. the beat and instrumentation is solid if not a little stripped. mostly sparse piano and keyboards, bass and drums. throw in the meat, politically/urban issue fueled lyrics. it's awareness music and it couldn't be better. why do so many peak at the start?
--you were the long way home by 764-HERO- this is a throwback. for whatever reason i put them on when i sat down to write this. it reminds me when i put this on a mix for molly from madison and she went out of her way to thank me for that inclusion. soft and sweet. emotional guitar music like some smashing pumpkins or something. sometimes really good music does come from just guitar, bass and drums.
--shiver holds by the prom- i think i'll hold a spot in my heart for everything this band is/was until i die. when i was aggressively diving into new music, "indie" stuff specific, this was one of those gems. saddled alongside death cab and other seattle/barsuk acts, it's an obvious response for me to see them as incredibly unappreciated. in this way they found me is certainly more rough, raw, and unpolished than their second album under the same stars, but that's not to say the highest points don't surpass the production of anything on the sophomore effort. shiver holds is probably in my top ten sweetest songs of all time. it's an emotional plea. all the parts seem so important. from the building up, peak, and end... it's just smart.
from what little correspondence i had with james (lead singer/songwriter), it seemed like he didn't have a whole lot of confidence in his writing or performance. it makes me so sad, but really... that's probably how he did such a good job in my eyes. it was probably that struggle he endured. even when he started working on the silent script project, although it was more drum machine and guitar focused, those broken relationship inspired lyrics and strong song writing were there. sorrow does make for some damn good music. i just hope james finds his way back to writing music and i can be there when he does.
--no more crying by the slackers- a little more subdued than most of their songs. from a happy reggae ska band, it's interesting that i'd opt to favor a slower, somewhat sadder number. it grabs me though. i grabbed a lot of slackers in a short time so naturally a few had to catch my ear. this is probably the first of that second, deeper wave of exposure. it helps that it has multiple vocals too. no disrespect to vic, but i love the contrasting voices. what a good band.
i did 7 again.
whew
i'm seriously making cookies for anyone who actually reads all this tripe. pepparkakar!
now i just thought about just where thinking is getting me. i think there's things in my mind, stuff i'd usually tell my friends. i guess i haven't felt like burdening them. maybe i don't feel it's worth their time. everyone's just so into their own lives anymore. it's so strange. i'm no different.
for once in a great while i have a direction, a goal, etc. i know what i'm doing, where it's going but some dead part of me keeps making me feel like it's just going through motions.
on a similar note, i joined the socialites and hung out two nights in a row this weekend. nothing newsworthy yeah? true, but it's a rehash of my past that was reaffirmation that i have passed myself by. i don't feel comfortable out and about anymore. i can't remember the last time i went drinking and didn't drive home with an empty, lonely feeling. i don't want it anymore.
reflecting, it seems when i talk with my part time friends, i'm acting. i get confused as to who they believe they are talking to. i feel like that every time i converse with someone i don't interact with a lot. sadly, the people i do are mostly coworkers. equally sad, the more i hang out with them, the more i realize it's only a matter of months before i might never see them again.
i confessed to a couple of people at work the other day that my "asshole" exterior was in fact a defense mechanism, employed instinctively to prevent deepening relationships. i keep envisioning storyboards and scripts in my mind. one in particular revolves solely around men's perceptions of women. to be exact, it's just a hopeful, dreaming male and a come-and-go type of female. it might not be accurate or realistic, but it's a perception i have of myself and a certain phase of interaction. anyway, a scene i'd have recur is of the male on a wide open landscape building a seemingly purposeless wall. i hope i don't have to explain that metaphor.
it doesn't take an expert to realize i'd be describing myself.
lately i've just been completely taken by things i see in the world. opinions, oh opinions. when i first felt i was slipping back into my own world, i got nervous and worrisome. now i'm finding it's inevitable and natural. i'm trying to be who i want to be. that means i'm not going to watch tv and i'm not going to enter conversations with a posture that i understand even one iota. i don't even bother mixing it up with my so called "indie" friends anymore, even old friends of mine that somehow ignored my involvement and formed "indie" tastes of their own. i can't hang. i try to pass the dialog along. it's hard. people harp on me for trying to be different. can't it just be that i like other shit? does anyone really think i enjoy not being able to relate commonly to others? give me a break will ya. should i fault myself for observing an elitist streak within the "indie" scene, particularly the woxy community? am i to blame myself for believing the music pumped out of said scene/community has gone stale? when people tell me it's just because i can't like anything popular, am i lying when i say that new music just bores me?
it's been said that artists/bands are placed within scenes and genres by anyone and everyone except for themselves. so who am i and who is anyone else if everyone's pretty much telling everyone else who they are. can anyone truly be his or herself without shutting out any and all interaction?
maybe this is why i've accused so many people of not knowing who they are. maybe no one does and they look every place but inside to figure it out.
the thing i was specifically referring to when i mentioned having not told my friends was the particular change i've undergone since a couple significant things happened. i mean when i dickheadedly ditched (i really just disappeared) my ex and soon after my grandmother passing. i've been trying to figure out that time ever since. i can't remember much outside of the facts. everything was so surreal. i just sort of went through it, in whatever way i had to. maybe the sting of the two was lessened by a hope of making music with ed and mike. that'd soon fall apart as well.
since that time, that year, i've been half dead to everything. i think i'm starting to get a lot of it back, but it's been hard. when i went to montréal i didn't really enjoy anything. i had a fun time and it's still my favorite place on earth, but my heart wasn't there. my head kept telling me how much i liked it, but there was a falsity about it all. that's how pretty much every significant moment has been up until this year. my three plus weeks in paris was probably the loneliest time since high school. the list goes on and on, like a pathetic groundhog day.
only recently i'm coming to terms with what it all means to me. i've been expecting too much from other people in regards to fulfilling my own personal dreams. when i rode in the cab from de gaulle i just kept thinking to myself, good god... i'm in fucking france. i basked in that feeling like a kid. now that i'm back, i've heard and i know in what ways people respect that about me. it's never going to be in the way i really desire. i guess it's an outgoing nature that keeps me always wanting to share those sensations.
i can't remember who i told, but i dropped my ego for a second and got honest about why my ex would still care for me. the music i like, my various talents, expression, how i was in bed... those things may have helped, but i think it had everything to do with how i could relate to her emotionally. on certain levels, i really could understand and empathize. she probably never felt that before. as the years pass, i feel worse about how everything ended, but it couldn't have happened any other way. i wish i could just make it right, but i know i'd make it worse. i don't know why what i had to give was enough for her to excuse my lesser qualities or why the same isn't true for me. i'm looking for the same thing. i guess i'm just too stubborn to accept it outside of some perceived perfection.
intermission for disclaimer
all of this is pretty much the epitome of what i never wanted my lj to become. some half baked, pretentious smattering of disjointed nothing thoughts. so why the abandon? i don't care about impressions anymore. i'm just doing it on impulse. what i write isn't going to change to a great degree who i am. it'll make me more open in a way and possibly more vulnerable, but that's only supposing i concern myself with anyone's reaction. the whole wall metaphor takes care of that though. sides, lj told me it's been nine weeks since i wrote anything so that's a whole lot of stewing to release. one day every nine weeks to crap a book doesn't seem so terrible.
/disclaimer
in seinfeld, kramer once said to george, "up here (pointing to his head) i'm already gone." i don't think i'll ever forget that line. in a similar fashion i might be heading to california like he had, but more importantly because that mentality has dominated my behavior ever since i decided i was leaving.
i told someone recently that everything seemed temporary. i think that was describing bar life specifically, but now more scenarios are becoming infected. maybe this is why i can't remember who says what to me and who i say things to. everything involving here just kinda bleeds together. i'm losing my sense of time too. i can't remember how long ago i went to seattle, how old i was when virginity escaped me, or what happens day to day. i have to really concentrate to figure out those things. i know it's not mind degradation or the like. it doesn't seem like apathy. i just don't know if i'm really living here anymore, in my head. i already touched on tasting my old scene. i used to live in bars and at shows. i can't stand them anymore. i don't enjoy the music most of the time and i feel downright uncomfortable. however, a lot of people i met in those days are still to be seen there when i stroll down memory lane. it's painful to experience.
i need to give it up and move on.
i was thinking earlier about how i never seem to have the or an answer. i hardly know what to say to people, unless it's reactionary quippery. for the time being, i'll just chalk it up to my constant changing and growth. after all, that's always been my goal, to always keep learning. perhaps i'm wearing to many hats and performing too many acts that i can't consistently maintain the correct performance for each audience. inevitably i'd mix it up and appropriately cause confusion.
so who am i then?
randomness
-art de ryan young- i told him at his show i didn't want to toot his horn so i withheld what i really wanted to say. that was that i think his work is my absolute favorite of all my friends who have ever attempted some kind. i really like the cartoon style with the really distinct emotions. i bet tons of people could stare into his faces and produce an infinite amount of impressions. on top of all that, the humor and commentary he conveys is priceless. maybe it's because i have a similar passionate/emotional but somewhat cynical bent. i wanted to buy his beef mart or a can of human beans, but for some reason it makes me feel weird to approach him about it. i'm also concerned where i'd put it and how good of care i could really give it. i'm probably just like a lot of other people, but ryan's charisma goes a long way. he's one person i regret not getting to know a bit more.
-cowboy bebop- i have such an affinity for this work. watching the movie again tonight reminded me. again with emotion, but somehow it pulls me in and really makes me care about the characters. maybe it's because their pain is on a basic human level. who can't understand separated love? i could go on and on, but really the show offers a little and a lot of everything. i love it.
-art, humor & dance- i'm loving and missing these three a lot. i keep manifesting my boredom into various artistic endeavors. with the paint program, i drew up a cat riding in a car firing a missile with a mushroom cloud backing. a couple of days ago, i wasted a good hour at work, fleshing out a pot inspired masterpiece. i started with a rastafarianesque character sticking his head out of a bong. then i added a psychedelic van with the back door open pouring out smoke and driven by another rastaesque male. then i topped it with a sun blowing smoke. i don't quite get why i'd do all that having smoked maybe half a dozen times in my entire life. i guess that lifestyle just has a lot of interesting and appealing character. it's colorful too, very distinct. my coworkers didn't believe me when i told i didn't really smoke. ha! suckers. after years of listening to luke vibert, pharcyde, roots manuva, and whoever else; i don't feel too detached from that scene regardless of my none usage.
the humor aspect appears in a lot of corners. jenny asked me at work recently why i was acting a certain way or something pertaining to my odd behavior. i hesitated for a second, then just admitted i like making people laugh. she kinda did an "aw" and said "that's cute" or something. is it that unbelievable that i'd be that lighthearted or have a purely good intention? it makes me wonder. i don't think there's anything in this world like making someone laugh for all the right reasons. i hope that part of me always stays young.
i just miss dancing a lot. that's one of those free feelings i get through expression. it's so loose and carefree. sadly, it doesn't suit just any instance. like certain jokes i'll tell or impressions i attempt, i don't produce on demand. i really just have to feel it through. it's natural. that's why i'm surprised when people see that video zach did and tell me i'm a good dancer. that whole production was hard and uncomfortable. honestly i'm not satisfied with the result. at least i can impress further though.
wrappys...
something the great glenna once ljed, a few music selections that've got me going recently:
--rising sun by kyoto jazz massive- this is mysterious. pilfered from limewire, i'm not sure if this is jazzanova or kyoto jazz massive or both. it's definitely a set/mix/performance. though it's not complete what i do have is fabulous. the second track in particular. adjectives fail me. kinda fake stringy synth lines over dancey house beats. it makes me dance in my car every time.
the other track in it is a significantly slower reminding me a bit of somewhere between apollo 440 and royksopp. male vocals inside gloomy trudging electronica. it's lovely emotion music.
--(closest) look out by matt pond PA- i liked this enough to bookend my traveling video. pop rock man. it's simple and bright. it definitely has a summery/fall feeling, like riding around in the car. i nabbed it from the woxy broadcast. shhh, don't tell! i'm the reason internet radio's going to die, not corporate greed.
i think this is when i probably loved whatever "indie" is/was the most. it makes me feel alive.
"it's still to hard to see where darkness goes"
--statistics by still flyin'- i probably could've picked three or four songs by still flyin'. talk about making me happy. it's somewhere between reggae ska and jam band. it's sure to rub some the wrong way. this is more pot music too. statistics is probably the poppiest of what i could've picked. horns, tons of vocal tracks (which i love), bouncey rhythm... ahh. man i love it. this is definitely my favorite band to come around in years and years. their style is something i've not had much exposure to. it's raw. god it's good.
"what about history?"
--it just don't stop by the roots- this honor is a long time coming. quite a while ago, i finally let illadelph halflife settle in and now i consider it probably the best hip hop record i've ever heard. it just don't stop is a perfect example of why. the beat and instrumentation is solid if not a little stripped. mostly sparse piano and keyboards, bass and drums. throw in the meat, politically/urban issue fueled lyrics. it's awareness music and it couldn't be better. why do so many peak at the start?
--you were the long way home by 764-HERO- this is a throwback. for whatever reason i put them on when i sat down to write this. it reminds me when i put this on a mix for molly from madison and she went out of her way to thank me for that inclusion. soft and sweet. emotional guitar music like some smashing pumpkins or something. sometimes really good music does come from just guitar, bass and drums.
--shiver holds by the prom- i think i'll hold a spot in my heart for everything this band is/was until i die. when i was aggressively diving into new music, "indie" stuff specific, this was one of those gems. saddled alongside death cab and other seattle/barsuk acts, it's an obvious response for me to see them as incredibly unappreciated. in this way they found me is certainly more rough, raw, and unpolished than their second album under the same stars, but that's not to say the highest points don't surpass the production of anything on the sophomore effort. shiver holds is probably in my top ten sweetest songs of all time. it's an emotional plea. all the parts seem so important. from the building up, peak, and end... it's just smart.
from what little correspondence i had with james (lead singer/songwriter), it seemed like he didn't have a whole lot of confidence in his writing or performance. it makes me so sad, but really... that's probably how he did such a good job in my eyes. it was probably that struggle he endured. even when he started working on the silent script project, although it was more drum machine and guitar focused, those broken relationship inspired lyrics and strong song writing were there. sorrow does make for some damn good music. i just hope james finds his way back to writing music and i can be there when he does.
--no more crying by the slackers- a little more subdued than most of their songs. from a happy reggae ska band, it's interesting that i'd opt to favor a slower, somewhat sadder number. it grabs me though. i grabbed a lot of slackers in a short time so naturally a few had to catch my ear. this is probably the first of that second, deeper wave of exposure. it helps that it has multiple vocals too. no disrespect to vic, but i love the contrasting voices. what a good band.
i did 7 again.
whew
i'm seriously making cookies for anyone who actually reads all this tripe. pepparkakar!