Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour - Chapter 16
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Title: Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour
Authors: Lyrical Rawr & Shiva
Pairing: Fake!? Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor/Romance
Warnings: Swearing, possible SPOILERS for GS1 and 2
Status: Complete
Word count (Ch.16): 6524
Summary: Miles desperately needs a way to get rid of an unwanted admirer, and what better way is there than to pretend to date his very male, straight best friend and rival? It sounded so foolproof in his head...
Chapter 1 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 21
Chapter 2 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 17
Chapter 3 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 18
Chapter 4 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 19
Chapter 5 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 20
Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour
-- Chapter 16 --
Dizzying Heights of Obsession
Phoenix sighed as he glanced at the timer in the corner of the Minesweeper window, which had just reached 999 seconds. Again.
How did I manage 356 seconds before!? This is bullshit!
Drumming his fingers against the desk, he started a new game and clicked on a random square, only to find a mine.
“That’s it! I give up!” he exclaimed, throwing himself back in his chair. He glared at the message on the screen, which read ‘Better luck next time!’, before leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling.
He sighed loudly.
Stupid Edgeworth…
Why couldn’t he get him out of his head? It had been almost twenty-four hours.
“I just need to figure some things out on my own.”
“What does that even mean!?” Phoenix grumbled, rubbing his forehead.
I thought he was making progress…
I guess I was wrong.
He leaned forward onto his desk and picked up a pen. He twirled it between his fingers a few times, before dropping it.
Maybe it’s my fault… Was I pushing him too much?
…But he’s the one who called me on Sunday.
He sighed again. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“Who are you talking to?”
Phoenix looked up to see Maya standing in the doorway, eyebrow raised. He hadn’t heard the door open.
“Just thinking out loud,” he replied dismissively, sitting back straight.
Maya smirked. “What were you thinking about?” she asked as she made her way towards the desk.
Phoenix shook his head. “It’s not important. What did you want?”
“Hey! Just because I come in here doesn’t mean I want something!” Maya protested, pouting.
Phoenix gave her an unimpressed look.
“Okay, okay, you’ve got me! It’s eleven thirty so I thou--”
“How much do you want?” Phoenix asked, reaching for his wallet.
“Actually, since Pearly’s here, I thought we could all go out for lunch,” Maya said with a smile. “It’s been ages since we all went out together and it’d make her really happy.”
Phoenix blinked. “Oh.”
I guess it’s better than staying here thinking about Edgeworth.
“Let’s go,” he said, getting up.
Maya’s eyes widened. “Wow, that was easy. I was expecting you to pretend we have work to do.”
Phoenix sent her a glare.
“What? It’s true!” Maya insisted. “You haven’t taken a real case since March!”
“That’s not true! I’ve had plenty of clients since then!”
Maya raised her eyebrows. “Candy thieves don’t count, Nick.”
“They weren’t thieves!” Phoenix retorted. “They didn’t steal anything!”
“Whatever, Nick,” Maya replied, waving a hand. “The point is, you sit here all day doing nothing. It’s not like I’m going to get kidnapped every time you take a case, you know.”
Phoenix sighed. “I know that.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“A client I can trust,” Phoenix answered truthfully.
She has a point, though. That case has made me kind of paranoid…
Maya rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.” She spun around and threw a fist in the air. “Let’s go eat!”
Phoenix followed her to the reception area, where Pearl was sitting on the couch, reading a book.
“What are you reading, Pearls?” Phoenix asked, leaning towards her.
Pearl looked up at him and smiled. “Mystic Maya got it for me,” she said proudly, lifting the book so he could see the cover. “It’s called the Steel Summer Eye.”
Maya chuckled. “It’s ‘Samurai’, Pearly.”
Phoenix turned to her and raised an eyebrow.
“What!?” Maya snapped, staring back at him.
You know what.
“Isn’t she a bit young for you to start brainwashing her?”
“I’m not brainwashing her!” Maya protested. “I’m just showing her cool stuff a kid her age should know about.”
Phoenix smirked. “And what does that make you?”
“Shut up, Nick!” Maya grumbled, crossing her arms. “It just means I’m not an old fart like you!”
“Please stop fighting!” Pearl cut in, looking at them with sad eyes. “You shouldn’t fight with your special someone.”
Maya gave Phoenix a look, before sitting down next to Pearl. “We weren’t fighting, Pearly. We were just discussing how cool the Steel Samurai is.”
Sure…
Pearl looked up at Phoenix, then back at Maya, a confused expression on her face.
Shaking his head, Phoenix sat down on the other side of her. “Hey, Pearls, what do you say we all go have lunch together?”
Pearl’s eyes lit up. “Really, Mr. Nick?”
Phoenix nodded.
Closing her comic book, Pearl gave him a hug and hopped off the couch. She walked over to the reception desk and put her book down, before turning around, looking concerned.
“What if people come by while we’re gone?” she asked, glancing at the appointment book.
“It’s fine, Pearls,” Phoenix replied, getting up. “People can wait a couple hours.”
“Are you sure?”
Why do I get the feeling that Maya’s been saying things about me?
“Yes, don’t worry,” Phoenix said with a smile, ushering her towards the door.
“Yay! Let’s go!” Maya exclaimed, jumping off the couch. She ran to the door and yanked it open. “Follow me!”
You’d think she was the one who’s nine years old…
“Where are we going?” Phoenix asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.
“Mr. Patty, of course!” Maya said, clapping her hands. “Pearly’s never been and I’m sure she’ll love it.”
Phoenix nodded. “Alright.”
Maya quickly grabbed Pearl’s hand and dragged her into the hallway, before turning to Phoenix. “We’ll wait for you outside. Don’t be slow!”
Rolling his eyes, Phoenix grabbed the ‘Out to lunch’ sign as Maya and Pearl ran off and slid it in front of the ‘Open’ sign in the door window. He walked out and grabbed his keys to lock the door, but paused when his eyes fell on the sign.
I was gonna show him another good place after the trial yesterday, but…
“Damn it!”
Maya and Pearl had almost managed to make him forget about Edgeworth. Almost.
---
Phoenix stared down at the laminated card in his hand, not really reading what was on it. The word ‘burger’ stood out, but everything else on the menu could have been written in Swahili as far as he was concerned.
I can’t concentrate on this stupid thing.
He narrowed his eyes in an attempt to focus on the text.
Maybe it’s a good thing he doesn’t want to spend time with me. Now I can eat all the burgers I want without his smarmy comments and fancy food critique.
Phoenix pictured Edgeworth eating caviar at a massive table with only a butler for company. He scowled and brought the menu closer to his face.
I bet he doesn’t even let his butler spend any time with him. I bet he tells him to wait outside while he eats.
‘Cause he totally has a butler. Bet he has a maid, too.
Stupid Edgeworth.
“Nick, you’ve been reading that for ages now,” Maya complained, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He put the menu down and glanced over at her. “Err, well… That’s because I can’t decide; they all look good.”
Actually, they all look like crap on these pictures. Edgeworth would have a field day…
Phoenix mentally kicked himself.
Go away, I’m trying to have fun!
“Hurry up! Even Pearly has chosen what she wants, and I’m hungry!”
Pearl smiled at him and pointed down at her menu. “I’m getting the chicken nuggets, Mr. Nick. Why don’t you get the same? Mystic Maya told me that they shape them like diny-o-saurs!”
Maya snorted. “Nick’s way too old for chicken dinosaurs, Pearly. He’s too big; the dinosaurs would look tiny and he’d look silly.”
Because you don’t when you order them as a side to your dozen burgers?
Phoenix sat back in his seat. “Thanks for the suggestion, Pearls.” He picked up the menu again and stared at it a bit more.
Honestly, I don’t care enough about this meal. I’m not even hungry.
Damn you, Edgeworth! You’ve destroyed both my ability to read and my appetite! I hope you’re happy, you jerk.
With a shake of his head, Phoenix dropped the menu back onto the table. “Actually, tell you what, I’ll take the chicken nuggets.”
“Yay!” Pearl bounced in her seat. “We can compare diny-o-saurs!”
“You’re ordering a kids’ meal?” Maya scoffed. “Nick, you’re not a kid anymore, and I don’t think it’s quite time for your midlife crisis.”
“Hey! I’m just not hungry,” Phoenix protested.
“You lame-o. I can eat, like, ten times as much as that when I’m not hungry!” Maya threw her arms open wide to show exactly how much she could eat, only to hit a passerby.
“Ouch!”
Maya looked to her right, where the unfortunate waiter stood, holding his elbow. Her eyes widened. “Whoops, I’m so sorry!”
“Good aim, you got me right on the funny bone,” he half joked, wincing.
Phoenix grinned. He’d been saving a line for this sort of situation. “I’m guessing that wasn’t… humerus.” He chuckled a little to himself.
Pearl and the waiter looked at him blankly.
“Ha-ha,” Maya exclaimed, a fake smile on her face. “Ha…”
Oh, come on, that was an awesome joke!
Still rubbing his arm, the waiter turned his attention back to Maya. “What can I get for you, ninja warrior?”
Maya pouted. “I prefer samurai master.”
The waiter laughed as he took out his pen and notepad.
Little does he know how serious she is about that…
“We’ll take the Triple Supreme, two Single Cheese, and the Mexican Tower with a side of fries,” Maya said excitedly. “Oh, and two kids’ nugget meals.”
The waiter nodded, scribbling down the order. “Anything to drink?”
“Three Cokes, please.”
“Coming right up, samurai,” the waiter replied, clicking his pen before walking off.
Maya turned to Phoenix. “He totally forgot the ‘master’ at the end of that.”
Phoenix chuckled.
Speaking of samurais…
“Hey, so, I’ve just had a thought,” Phoenix began, trying to sound breezy. “Now that you’ve roped Pearls into your samurai fanaticism, how about you both go to the premiere of the new movie together?”
Maya sighed. “That would be great, Nick. Unfortunately, I didn’t win any tickets even though I entered, like, fifteen different contests.” She pouted. “It’s so unfair.”
Phoenix grinned. “Well, today is your lucky day!” He pulled the tickets out of his jacket pocket. “Will Powers sent me some, and I obviously don’t need them, so…”
I won’t mention the fact that I practically begged him for them.
The tickets were snatched out of his hand before he could blink. “You’re the bestest of the best! Did you hear that, Pearly? We’re going to the premiere!”
Pearl cheered, before pausing, confused. “What’s a premiere, Mystic Maya?”
“Only the first, extra special viewing of the most amazing movie in the world!” Maya jumped up and down in her seat. “This is definitely the third best day of my life, ever!”
Phoenix smiled and shook his head as Maya danced about in her seat.
At least someone’s excited about it.
“Thank you, Nick,” Maya said, clutching the tickets to her chest. “I’m glad you chose to give them to me. Mr. Edgeworth will be so jealous!”
Agh!
“Don’t talk about Edgeworth!” Phoenix snapped, before adding a polite, “Please.”
Maya blinked a couple of times and opened her mouth to reply, before closing it again. There was a brief, but awkward, silence.
“Mr. Wright?”
Phoenix whipped his head around, recognising the voice all too well. “Kath!? I-I mean… Miss Everett? What are you doing here?”
Oh God… Did she hear my shitty comment about Edgeworth?
“Oh, I frequent this place quite a bit,” Kath replied with a smile. She gestured at her takeout bag. “Their burgers are the best in town.”
Phoenix sighed with relief.
I guess not.
“You’re not going to introduce us, Nick?” Maya asked.
Crap.
He looked at Maya, then back at Kath, panic slowly rising inside him.
What’s she going to say in front of Maya and Pearls!?
“Erm… yes, sure, okay…” Phoenix quickly tried to form a plan to get out of the awkward situation, but kept drawing blanks. “Miss Everett is a prosecutor,” he said, gesturing at Kath. “And this is Maya and her cousin Pearls,” he added, waving his hand across the table at the two of them.
“How cute!” Kath giggled. “Is he giving you both fashion advice? The matching outfits are adorable!”
Way to stereotype, Kath…
Maya raised an eyebrow. “Wow, advice from Nick? No way.”
“Hey!”
Maya grinned. “Sorry, you’re just not… hipster enough.”
“I can totally be hipster enough!”
What on Earth is hipster?
Kath laughed and punched Phoenix lightly on the shoulder. “Oh, you!”
“Mr. Nick, is Miss Everett like Mr. Edgeworth? Do you two catch bad guys together?” Pearl asked in her little innocent voice, making it hard for Phoenix to be annoyed at her.
“Erm, no, Pearls,” Phoenix replied, trying to keep his voice steady. “We’ve never worked on a case together.”
“Huh.” Maya crossed her arms. “So you two met outside of court?”
“Why, yes, we met through ‘Mr. Edgeworth’, actually.” Kath winked at Phoenix, who inwardly cringed.
At least it looks like she’s going to keep our secret…
“Order’s up!” The waiter appeared over Maya’s shoulder. “Triple Supreme?”
“Ooh, me!” Maya clapped her hands together in excitement.
“Two Single Cheese?”
“Also me!”
The waiter laughed. “Alrighty. The Mexican Tower and fries?” He looked over at Phoenix expectantly.
“Mine too!” Maya exclaimed.
Surprise evident on his face, the waiter set the burgers down in front of Maya and handed out the kids’ meals and drinks. “Wow, that’s impressive.” He leaned over slightly and gave Maya a smile. “I like a girl who can handle her food.”
Pearl suddenly sprang up out of her chair, rolling up her sleeve. “Excuse me, Mister, but Mystic Maya has her special someone right here!” She pointed across at Phoenix.
Oh, crap…
Maya laughed. “Pearly, don’t be silly. He was only being nice!”
The one time I need Maya to correct Pearls…
Phoenix could practically feel Kath’s piercing glare. “That’s not… We’re not…” He vaguely gestured between himself and Maya but the words just wouldn’t come.
Kath’s eyes narrowed further. “Don’t worry, I see how it is.” She shook her head and stormed over to the exit.
Double crap.
“Wait!” Phoenix yelled, but it was futile. He turned back to Maya. “I’ll be right back.” He jumped out of his chair and sprinted across the restaurant to the exit. Flinging the door open, he managed to catch Kath’s arm just as she was about to walk down the steps.
“This really isn’t what it looks like,” he stated breathlessly.
“I can’t believe you!” Kath screeched, shaking off his hand. “So that’s why your relationship is a secret!?”
“N-no! That’s not--”
“How could you do this to her!?”
“We are not together,” Phoenix said clearly, pointing back at the restaurant.
Frowning, Kath crossed her arms and looked him directly in the eye. “Are you sure? Don’t be lying to me right now,” she added with a dangerous tone.
“I swear we’re just friends,” Phoenix stressed. “Pearls is young and she has a lot of imagination. I couldn’t really correct her in there because, well…”
“They don’t know about you and Miles,” Kath finished for him.
Phoenix nodded. “It’s just… it’s complicated.”
Kath looked up at the sky and let out a long sigh, before looking back at him. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.” She moved closer and poked his chest hard with her finger. “But if I find out that you’ve been messing that girl around, I will not be happy, Mr. Wright. No matter how in love with Miles you are.”
“Thank you,” Phoenix replied weakly, sighing with relief.
With one last exasperated look, Kath marched off, takeout in hand, leaving Phoenix to go back inside by himself.
Well, I wouldn’t call that a complete disaster…
As he returned to the table, Maya looked at him and frowned. “You okay, Nick?”
“Yep, no problem, all good,” Phoenix replied, sitting back down. He looked over at Maya’s plates and couldn’t help but notice that two of her burgers had already gone. “So, where were we?”
“We were at the awesome food part.” Maya grabbed her next burger. “But yours is totally going cold.”
Phoenix picked up one of his nuggets and sighed. He looked at Pearl, who smiled at him, before biting the head off one of her chicken dinosaurs.
Is it just me, or is that slightly morbid?
Shaking his head, he dropped the nugget back onto his plate.
I’m even less hungry than I was before, if that’s possible.
“What’s this, Mr. Nick?” Pearl asked, pointing at something in front of him.
Phoenix looked down and noticed a leaflet next to his plate. He picked it up and gave it a quick skim. It was advertising a local end of spring festival set up with stalls and fairground rides.
“Ooh, gimme!” Maya reached across and snatched the flyer, before eagerly reading it. “This sounds so fun! We should go!”
Phoenix shrugged. “Sure, why not? I’ll probably have some spare time this weekend.”
Maya rolled her eyes. “Not this weekend! We should go now! It’s just around the corner.”
“Wait, what? But… what about the office?”
Maya took a bite out of her burger and waved a hand. “Office smoffice. It’s not like we have anything to do there.”
“Oh, can we go? Please?” Pearl piped up, clasping her hands together.
Maya does have a point. It’s not like I have work at the moment.
Phoenix studied the two girls for a second.
I’ll be damned if I let Edgeworth ruin my fun.
He smiled. “Okay, let’s go!”
---
Three sticks of cotton candy, ten goes at hook-a-duck and a ride on the teacups later, Phoenix had come to realise that Maya’s version of fun fundamentally involved spending as much of his money as possible. Normally, he would be glad to spend time outside the office with Maya and Pearl - even with a slowly emptying wallet - but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to enjoy himself.
I thought this would make me feel better, not worse…
They walked down a row of small performance stands with comedians, bands and singers, before reaching a more open area. Looking around, Phoenix noticed that it was filled with children.
He felt a tug at his sleeve and turned his attention to Pearl, who was pointing at a sign a few feet away.
“What’s a petting zoo, Mr. Nick?”
Phoenix smiled. “It’s a place where they let you feed and pet animals.” He grabbed her hand and brought her closer to the fence so she could see inside.
Pearl looked around in awe at all the animal pens. “I’ve never had a pet before. Can I have a go?”
Maya ruffled her head. “Of course, Pearly! You can pet all the animals you want!”
“Yay! Thank you!” Pearl exclaimed, before running over to the entrance.
Phoenix and Maya followed her inside and noticed that the place seemed to double as a daycare centre. They found a demonstrator looking after a group of children in the guinea pig pen and, although hesitant at first, Pearl joined in.
“Are you good here, Pearly?” Maya asked after a few minutes. “‘Cause I wanted to show Nick something.”
Pearl’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I don’t mind, Mystic Maya! You two should spend some quality time together!”
Maya grinned. “Right, come on, Nick! Let’s go!” She grabbed Phoenix’s arm and started pulling him away from the pen.
“Whoa, wait, what…? Where are we going?” Phoenix asked, stumbling along as they weaved through the crowd.
Maya ignored him and continued walking for a while, before suddenly coming to a halt. She turned to him and pointed at the Ferris wheel next to them. “Pearly is too short to ride it, but now that there’s someone to watch her, we can have some fun!”
Slowly riding up to a height that could end up in death is fun!?
“W-wait!” Phoenix protested. “I’m not sure I--”
“Come on!”
Before Phoenix could say anything else, Maya dragged him into one of the flimsy-looking seats and lowered the bar in front of them. He turned to glare at her, only to receive a mischievous grin in return.
I hate you, Maya.
A moment later, the wheel jerked as it started to move, making Phoenix grab the safety bar on reflex.
Shit. I never even got to write my will…
“Whee!” Maya giggled, swinging her feet. “The start is almost as good as the view from the top.”
I beg to differ.
Phoenix glanced down. They were only about ten feet off the ground, but the floor seemed to move in and out of focus, causing his head to start spinning. He quickly looked back up and decided that fixing his gaze on the inside of the seat was his best option.
“So, Nick, we haven’t really had a chance to talk properly in a while…”
Phoenix focused on breathing for a few seconds, before letting out a small, “Mm-hmm.”
“You’ve been acting like a complete weirdo lately.” Maya sighed. “Well, still yourself, but distant. Like you’re hiding something. Very badly at that.”
He met her eyes for a brief second. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Hah!” Maya kicked her legs out to make the seat rock, causing Phoenix’s stomach to do a couple of flips. “You’re dating someone! I know it! I just don’t know why you won’t tell me.”
I wish I could.
“I’m not dating anyone,” Phoenix replied, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on the bar as he felt the seat get even higher.
“Is it because you’re dating a prosecutor?”
Phoenix opened his eyes and snapped his head around to face Maya. His heart seemed to jump up into his throat. “W-what!? How did you…!?”
“Aha! I knew it!” Maya gave him a triumphant grin. “You started acting all weird the minute you saw her! It was so obvious!”
Phoenix stared at her for a moment, before it clicked.
…Oh. Her.
He chuckled slightly. “You think that Kath is my girlfriend?”
“No, I know that Kath is your girlfriend!”
“See, that’s funny, because she thought I was dating you,” Phoenix said with another laugh.
Maya narrowed her eyes. “This isn’t funny, Nick! Why couldn’t you just tell me? It’s no big deal that she’s a prosecutor… or that she has really weird taste in clothes.”
You’re hardly one to talk…
“I know, but I’m not--”
“If you like her, then that’s all that matters,” Maya continued, a serious look on her face. “You know I would never judge you over something so silly!”
Phoenix sighed. “I would tell you these things, Maya. I’m not dating Kath.”
Maya frowned. “You’re still denying it?”
“Yes, because she’s not my girlfriend.”
Maya gave him one last, long, hard look, before breaking into a smile. “Ah, I see! I’m so sorry!” She clapped her hands together. “I hope it works out for the two of you in the end.”
What’s she on about now…?
Phoenix raised an eyebrow and Maya just grinned back at him.
Actually, I’m just going to leave it. I don’t want to know.
The wheel suddenly stopped as they reached the top, making the seat sway slightly. It elicited a sharp gasp from Phoenix as he remembered that he was about a hundred times higher than he felt comfortable.
Maya snorted. “You’re such a wuss! I could literally fall asleep up here!”
Good for you.
“Oh, yeah, there was one other thing…” Maya added, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“Are you going to pair me off with Franziska von Karma now?”
Maya laughed. “No, you idiot. It’s about Mr. Edgeworth.”
Phoenix felt his jaw tighten. He looked off to the side, trying his hardest not to focus on the fact that he was over two hundred feet in the air. A few seconds passed and the wheel started to move again.
“Did he do something bad?” Maya asked, putting a hand on his arm. “‘Cause you totally snapped at me when I mentioned him earlier…”
Phoenix gripped the safety bar even tighter, his knuckles turning white. “I don’t want to talk about him right now. Please don’t make me.”
There was a pause.
“If it’s any help,” Maya said hesitantly, “I know you two will work things out. You always have, and you always will.” She gently patted his arm, before withdrawing her hand.
Phoenix smiled weakly. “Thanks, Maya.”
I just wish I had the same confidence as you.
“Sorry for dragging you up here,” she said apologetically. “It’s just… it was the only way to get you to answer me.”
Phoenix shook his head. “It’s fine.”
Oh, I’ll get you back. You just wait.
---
Phoenix unlocked the door and looked at his watch as he removed the ‘Out to lunch’ sign. 4:07.
I hope no one actually waited for me to get back from lunch.
Shrugging, he walked straight into his office and sat down at his desk. It didn’t look like he had any messages.
Figures.
He picked up a pen and started tapping it on the desk, trying to think of something to keep him busy for the rest of the day. He’d already rearranged his case files twice since yesterday, so that was out of the question. Watching the news was another option, but he didn’t really feel like it at the moment. In fact, he didn’t feel like doing anything. Even though he’d just spent the last four and a half hours with Maya and Pearl, all he could think about was Edgeworth.
Why do I care so much about that jerk? It’s not like I don’t have other friends.
…But other friends are useless if I can’t stop thinking about him while I’m with them.
Annoyed, Phoenix dropped the pen and got up, then made his way to the window. Resting his hands on the windowsill, he looked at the Gatewater Hotel next door and spotted a couple kissing in one of the windows.
I guess there’s no point in telling them to get a room.
Phoenix scoffed at his bad joke and shook his head, before turning his gaze to one of the trees between the buildings. A squirrel was running along one of the branches, an acorn in its mouth. Phoenix followed it with his eyes until it disappeared in the foliage. He looked around for another squirrel, or perhaps a bird, but couldn’t find anything.
Damn it, tree! Distract me!
After looking for a few more seconds, he sighed, defeated, and rested his forehead on the window.
I have to go talk to him.
Glancing at his watch, he saw that only five minutes had passed since he got back to the office. There was no way he could wait till five. But what was he going to tell Maya?
…I’ve got it.
He pushed himself off the window and made his way to the reception area.
“Hey, Maya, could you close the office today?”
She looked up at him from the couch and frowned. “Why?”
“I had a message,” Phoenix lied. “A potential client. I have to go meet him.”
Maya’s eyes widened. “Ooh!” She glanced at Pearl next to her and jumped off the couch. “We’re coming with you!”
Crap.
“No, you can’t,” Phoenix argued, shaking his head.
“What? Why not!?”
“Because someone has to close the office.”
Maya raised an eyebrow. “Nick, we were out of the office all day. I don’t think it’ll make a difference if we close a bit early.” She smiled. “Plus we got a client now so it doesn’t matter! Let’s go!”
Phoenix bit his lip. He hadn’t thought this through.
I should have known that Maya would want to come. And now I got her all excited for nothing.
Good job, Phoenix!
“Look, Maya,” he began hesitantly, still not sure of what to say.
Should I just tell her the truth? Why do I feel the need to hide the fact that I’m spending time with Edgeworth? It’s not like she’d figure out that we’re pretending to date just because we spend more time together than usual…
Plus she already knows I’m mad at him, so she wouldn’t find it weird if I said that I have to go talk to him.
“I’m just--”
No… I’ve already made up this whole story about a client. It would be too suspicious now.
Phoenix sighed. “Look, you can’t come because… the client asked me to come alone.”
Maya scowled. “What? That sounds awfully sketchy…”
“No, no, he’s just… shy! Yeah, he’s very, very shy!”
Nice one.
Maya gave him a sceptical look. “Uh-huh. And what’s the real reason?”
“It is the real reason!” Phoenix insisted. “He’s so shy he didn’t even tell me his name!”
“And you’re still going to meet him?”
“Well, yeah…” Phoenix replied with a shrug. “He sounded like he could really use my help.”
Maya rolled her eyes and flopped back down onto the couch. “Fine, whatever. I’ll close the stupid office.”
“Hey! My office is not stupid!”
Maya gave him an unimpressed look, to which he laughed.
“Thanks, Maya, I’ll owe you one!” he said as he made his way to the door.
“Be careful,” she called from behind him. “I’m not sure I trust that guy.”
Phoenix turned to her and smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s harmless.”
Especially since he doesn’t exist.
---
Stepping in the elevator, Phoenix pressed the button for the twelfth floor and moved back to make room for a blonde woman and a man in a grey suit. He glanced down at the woman’s pantsuit, which was made out of weird fabric that reminded him of his grandmother’s couch.
He frowned.
She could be attractive if she didn’t wear recycled furniture…
Looking back up, he realised that both she and the man were eyeing him oddly.
I guess most prosecutors know who I am now.
I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…
The man turned around and pressed the button for the second floor, before leaning against the wall.
Really? Even I’m not that lazy…
The doors closed and the elevator almost immediately reached the second floor, where both prosecutors got off, whispering to each other as they headed down the hallway.
They’re probably talking about how awesome I am.
Chuckling to himself, Phoenix looked at his watch and wondered why he was in such a hurry to get here. It wasn’t even five o’clock and there was no way Edgeworth was going home anytime soon.
I should have sucked it up and waited instead of lying to Maya…
He shook his head and decided he’d have to fix that later. He had something more important to deal with right now.
The elevator doors opened with a ding and Phoenix exited towards Edgeworth’s office. Looking around, he was thankful to see that the corridor was empty. He definitely didn’t want to run into Kath again.
He reached room 1202 and paused for a second, before knocking on the door.
“Come in,” Edgeworth called from the other side.
Here goes nothing…
Phoenix entered the office and braced himself for the predictable reaction.
“What are you doing here, Wright?” Miles asked sternly, glaring at him from across the room.
Turning around, Phoenix closed the door and locked it, then turned back to Miles, arms crossed. “We need to talk.”
Miles shook his head and turned his attention back to his paperwork. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Phoenix rolled his eyes and made his way over to the desk, before slamming both hands down onto it, making Miles jump.
“What do you think you’re doing!?” Miles snapped.
“Getting your attention,” Phoenix replied, staring down at him as he leaned over the desk. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.”
Miles looked at him for a moment, an odd expression on his face, before looking back down. “Nothing is going on; I’m just busy.”
Phoenix scowled. “You’re lying. Yesterday, I asked you if something was wrong and you said yes. You would never give me such a straight answer if it wasn’t true.”
Miles paused, his pen hovering over the paper. He seemed to ponder for a few seconds, then dropped the pen and sighed. “Fine. I’ve had something on my mind for a while, but I don’t think telling you would do any good.”
“Why not?” Phoenix asked, doing his best not to lose his patience. How long was Edgeworth going to keep avoiding the question?
“Because… it’s not something you can help with,” Miles replied, still staring down at his desk.
Where have I heard this one before?
“Try me.”
Miles looked up at him. His expression was not quite readable, but Phoenix could see a hint of pain in his eyes. Whatever he was hiding, it was definitely affecting him more than he wanted to admit.
“Come on, Edgeworth,” Phoenix said calmly. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Miles turned away. “This is... different.”
“How so?”
Miles remained quiet for a few seconds, then suddenly got up and walked over to the couch. He sat down and patted the cushion to his right, giving Phoenix a quick glance before averting his gaze.
Finally, we’re getting somewhere.
Smiling, Phoenix joined him and waited for him to be ready to talk. Rushing him wouldn’t accomplish anything at this point, and he didn’t want to risk making him change his mind.
A moment passed. Edgeworth was staring off into space, a pensive expression on his face. Phoenix could only guess what was on his mind, and it was seriously starting to worry him. What if something really bad had happened?
No, that’s not possible. He seemed perfectly fine on Sunday.
…And then he left in a hurry without any explanation.
Phoenix frowned.
Come to think of it, he still hasn’t told me what that was about.
Miles suddenly turned to him and studied his face, looking uneasy. “I think… I think it’s time I told you the truth. I tried to believe that it would go away if I just ignored it, but now I know that I was deceiving myself.” He paused, letting out a long, shaky breath. “I was hoping that you would figure it out yourself and save me the trouble.” He scoffed. “I even thought for a while that you felt the same way, but I was wrong.”
Phoenix laughed. “Edgeworth, stop. You’re making it sound like--”
Suddenly, everything made sense. Everything Edgeworth had said, all the strange looks he’d given him, the way he’d been acting.
No, this can’t be right.
The expression on Edgeworth’s face told him otherwise.
Phoenix felt his mouth dry up. “I-I don’t…” He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. “Edgeworth, I… I don’t know what to say…”
His throat was burning. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be.
“Edgeworth… We weren’t actually dating,” Phoenix blurted out, aware that he was stating the obvious, but unable to think of anything else at the moment.
“I know that,” Miles replied dryly, clearly offended.
This is all wrong. I’m not…
Phoenix swallowed hard. “I didn’t know you were…”
“Neither did I.” Miles lowered his gaze. “I’d never really thought about it before, but then--”
“What made you think I felt the same?” Phoenix cut in, causing Miles to look back up at him. “Was it all those stupid jokes I made?” He brought a hand to his face and groaned. “God, that was so stupid. If I knew you--”
“No,” Miles interrupted, shaking his head. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Edgeworth!” Phoenix snapped, glaring at him. “How long has this been going on? When were you planning on telling me? This whole time, I was trying to fix our friendship, and you were…”
Miles’ face turned somber and he quickly looked away. “Wright…”
A wave of guilt washed over Phoenix. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. Where had all this anger come from? He tried to calm down but his chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe.
This can’t be happening.
He had spent so much time learning to deal with Edgeworth, so much time showing him that he didn’t need to push people away. How could this have happened when Edgeworth could barely deal with having friends? A billion questions popped up in his mind, but Phoenix wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the answers. All he could focus on at the moment was the awkward feeling in the pit of his stomach.
I need to get out of here.
Phoenix stood up. “Edgeworth, I’m sorry, I… I can’t deal with this right now.” He turned around and made his way to the door. After quickly unlocking it, he started turning the handle but paused. He really didn’t want to leave like this, but he needed some time to think. “I’m so sorry,” he added weakly, before opening the door and walking out.
Once again, he was relieved to see the corridor was empty, and could barely believe his luck when he found the elevator still on this floor. He swiftly entered and pressed the button for the lobby, then felt a sudden surge of emotion course through him.
“Goddamn it!” He punched the wall out of frustration and immediately regretted it as his hand started hurting.
I need to calm down.
Rubbing his hand, Phoenix took a deep breath, only to realise that he was shaking. Why was he so upset? He had no right to be mad at Edgeworth for feeling that way, no matter how weird it made him feel. But no, that wasn’t it. The more he thought about it, the more he felt… betrayed? Edgeworth knew full well that all he wanted was to fix their friendship, and yet he had taken advantage of the situation to spend time with him.
But… he said he thought I felt the same way?
The doors opened and Phoenix hastily got out, nearly bumping into an older man who was waiting for the elevator. “Sorry,” he said weakly, before turning towards the exit.
Why would he think that? He knows I’m straight… right?
Phoenix shook his head.
Of course he does. I never said anything to make him think otherwise.
…Maybe he misinterpreted something I said?
Reaching the exit, Phoenix pushed the door open and looked over at the bus stop, only to see that the bus was about to leave.
“Shit.” He took a few hurried steps, but quickly stopped as the bus started pulling away. Sighing, he decided he wasn’t in the mood to wait for the next one. It was a long walk from here to his place, but maybe walking would help clear his head.
The idea started sounding even better when he realised that his eyes were stinging.
Am I actually going to cry over Edgeworth? What’s wrong with me?
Thanks to our beta llamaramauk for being awesome :)
Title: Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour
Authors: Lyrical Rawr & Shiva
Pairing: Fake!? Phoenix/Edgeworth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor/Romance
Warnings: Swearing, possible SPOILERS for GS1 and 2
Status: Complete
Word count (Ch.16): 6524
Summary: Miles desperately needs a way to get rid of an unwanted admirer, and what better way is there than to pretend to date his very male, straight best friend and rival? It sounded so foolproof in his head...
Chapter 1 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 21
Chapter 2 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 17
Chapter 3 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 18
Chapter 4 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 19
Chapter 5 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 20
Of Fake Fairytales and Faux Amour
-- Chapter 16 --
Dizzying Heights of Obsession
Phoenix sighed as he glanced at the timer in the corner of the Minesweeper window, which had just reached 999 seconds. Again.
How did I manage 356 seconds before!? This is bullshit!
Drumming his fingers against the desk, he started a new game and clicked on a random square, only to find a mine.
“That’s it! I give up!” he exclaimed, throwing himself back in his chair. He glared at the message on the screen, which read ‘Better luck next time!’, before leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling.
He sighed loudly.
Stupid Edgeworth…
Why couldn’t he get him out of his head? It had been almost twenty-four hours.
“I just need to figure some things out on my own.”
“What does that even mean!?” Phoenix grumbled, rubbing his forehead.
I thought he was making progress…
I guess I was wrong.
He leaned forward onto his desk and picked up a pen. He twirled it between his fingers a few times, before dropping it.
Maybe it’s my fault… Was I pushing him too much?
…But he’s the one who called me on Sunday.
He sighed again. “This doesn’t make any sense.”
“Who are you talking to?”
Phoenix looked up to see Maya standing in the doorway, eyebrow raised. He hadn’t heard the door open.
“Just thinking out loud,” he replied dismissively, sitting back straight.
Maya smirked. “What were you thinking about?” she asked as she made her way towards the desk.
Phoenix shook his head. “It’s not important. What did you want?”
“Hey! Just because I come in here doesn’t mean I want something!” Maya protested, pouting.
Phoenix gave her an unimpressed look.
“Okay, okay, you’ve got me! It’s eleven thirty so I thou--”
“How much do you want?” Phoenix asked, reaching for his wallet.
“Actually, since Pearly’s here, I thought we could all go out for lunch,” Maya said with a smile. “It’s been ages since we all went out together and it’d make her really happy.”
Phoenix blinked. “Oh.”
I guess it’s better than staying here thinking about Edgeworth.
“Let’s go,” he said, getting up.
Maya’s eyes widened. “Wow, that was easy. I was expecting you to pretend we have work to do.”
Phoenix sent her a glare.
“What? It’s true!” Maya insisted. “You haven’t taken a real case since March!”
“That’s not true! I’ve had plenty of clients since then!”
Maya raised her eyebrows. “Candy thieves don’t count, Nick.”
“They weren’t thieves!” Phoenix retorted. “They didn’t steal anything!”
“Whatever, Nick,” Maya replied, waving a hand. “The point is, you sit here all day doing nothing. It’s not like I’m going to get kidnapped every time you take a case, you know.”
Phoenix sighed. “I know that.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“A client I can trust,” Phoenix answered truthfully.
She has a point, though. That case has made me kind of paranoid…
Maya rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever.” She spun around and threw a fist in the air. “Let’s go eat!”
Phoenix followed her to the reception area, where Pearl was sitting on the couch, reading a book.
“What are you reading, Pearls?” Phoenix asked, leaning towards her.
Pearl looked up at him and smiled. “Mystic Maya got it for me,” she said proudly, lifting the book so he could see the cover. “It’s called the Steel Summer Eye.”
Maya chuckled. “It’s ‘Samurai’, Pearly.”
Phoenix turned to her and raised an eyebrow.
“What!?” Maya snapped, staring back at him.
You know what.
“Isn’t she a bit young for you to start brainwashing her?”
“I’m not brainwashing her!” Maya protested. “I’m just showing her cool stuff a kid her age should know about.”
Phoenix smirked. “And what does that make you?”
“Shut up, Nick!” Maya grumbled, crossing her arms. “It just means I’m not an old fart like you!”
“Please stop fighting!” Pearl cut in, looking at them with sad eyes. “You shouldn’t fight with your special someone.”
Maya gave Phoenix a look, before sitting down next to Pearl. “We weren’t fighting, Pearly. We were just discussing how cool the Steel Samurai is.”
Sure…
Pearl looked up at Phoenix, then back at Maya, a confused expression on her face.
Shaking his head, Phoenix sat down on the other side of her. “Hey, Pearls, what do you say we all go have lunch together?”
Pearl’s eyes lit up. “Really, Mr. Nick?”
Phoenix nodded.
Closing her comic book, Pearl gave him a hug and hopped off the couch. She walked over to the reception desk and put her book down, before turning around, looking concerned.
“What if people come by while we’re gone?” she asked, glancing at the appointment book.
“It’s fine, Pearls,” Phoenix replied, getting up. “People can wait a couple hours.”
“Are you sure?”
Why do I get the feeling that Maya’s been saying things about me?
“Yes, don’t worry,” Phoenix said with a smile, ushering her towards the door.
“Yay! Let’s go!” Maya exclaimed, jumping off the couch. She ran to the door and yanked it open. “Follow me!”
You’d think she was the one who’s nine years old…
“Where are we going?” Phoenix asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.
“Mr. Patty, of course!” Maya said, clapping her hands. “Pearly’s never been and I’m sure she’ll love it.”
Phoenix nodded. “Alright.”
Maya quickly grabbed Pearl’s hand and dragged her into the hallway, before turning to Phoenix. “We’ll wait for you outside. Don’t be slow!”
Rolling his eyes, Phoenix grabbed the ‘Out to lunch’ sign as Maya and Pearl ran off and slid it in front of the ‘Open’ sign in the door window. He walked out and grabbed his keys to lock the door, but paused when his eyes fell on the sign.
I was gonna show him another good place after the trial yesterday, but…
“Damn it!”
Maya and Pearl had almost managed to make him forget about Edgeworth. Almost.
---
Phoenix stared down at the laminated card in his hand, not really reading what was on it. The word ‘burger’ stood out, but everything else on the menu could have been written in Swahili as far as he was concerned.
I can’t concentrate on this stupid thing.
He narrowed his eyes in an attempt to focus on the text.
Maybe it’s a good thing he doesn’t want to spend time with me. Now I can eat all the burgers I want without his smarmy comments and fancy food critique.
Phoenix pictured Edgeworth eating caviar at a massive table with only a butler for company. He scowled and brought the menu closer to his face.
I bet he doesn’t even let his butler spend any time with him. I bet he tells him to wait outside while he eats.
‘Cause he totally has a butler. Bet he has a maid, too.
Stupid Edgeworth.
“Nick, you’ve been reading that for ages now,” Maya complained, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He put the menu down and glanced over at her. “Err, well… That’s because I can’t decide; they all look good.”
Actually, they all look like crap on these pictures. Edgeworth would have a field day…
Phoenix mentally kicked himself.
Go away, I’m trying to have fun!
“Hurry up! Even Pearly has chosen what she wants, and I’m hungry!”
Pearl smiled at him and pointed down at her menu. “I’m getting the chicken nuggets, Mr. Nick. Why don’t you get the same? Mystic Maya told me that they shape them like diny-o-saurs!”
Maya snorted. “Nick’s way too old for chicken dinosaurs, Pearly. He’s too big; the dinosaurs would look tiny and he’d look silly.”
Because you don’t when you order them as a side to your dozen burgers?
Phoenix sat back in his seat. “Thanks for the suggestion, Pearls.” He picked up the menu again and stared at it a bit more.
Honestly, I don’t care enough about this meal. I’m not even hungry.
Damn you, Edgeworth! You’ve destroyed both my ability to read and my appetite! I hope you’re happy, you jerk.
With a shake of his head, Phoenix dropped the menu back onto the table. “Actually, tell you what, I’ll take the chicken nuggets.”
“Yay!” Pearl bounced in her seat. “We can compare diny-o-saurs!”
“You’re ordering a kids’ meal?” Maya scoffed. “Nick, you’re not a kid anymore, and I don’t think it’s quite time for your midlife crisis.”
“Hey! I’m just not hungry,” Phoenix protested.
“You lame-o. I can eat, like, ten times as much as that when I’m not hungry!” Maya threw her arms open wide to show exactly how much she could eat, only to hit a passerby.
“Ouch!”
Maya looked to her right, where the unfortunate waiter stood, holding his elbow. Her eyes widened. “Whoops, I’m so sorry!”
“Good aim, you got me right on the funny bone,” he half joked, wincing.
Phoenix grinned. He’d been saving a line for this sort of situation. “I’m guessing that wasn’t… humerus.” He chuckled a little to himself.
Pearl and the waiter looked at him blankly.
“Ha-ha,” Maya exclaimed, a fake smile on her face. “Ha…”
Oh, come on, that was an awesome joke!
Still rubbing his arm, the waiter turned his attention back to Maya. “What can I get for you, ninja warrior?”
Maya pouted. “I prefer samurai master.”
The waiter laughed as he took out his pen and notepad.
Little does he know how serious she is about that…
“We’ll take the Triple Supreme, two Single Cheese, and the Mexican Tower with a side of fries,” Maya said excitedly. “Oh, and two kids’ nugget meals.”
The waiter nodded, scribbling down the order. “Anything to drink?”
“Three Cokes, please.”
“Coming right up, samurai,” the waiter replied, clicking his pen before walking off.
Maya turned to Phoenix. “He totally forgot the ‘master’ at the end of that.”
Phoenix chuckled.
Speaking of samurais…
“Hey, so, I’ve just had a thought,” Phoenix began, trying to sound breezy. “Now that you’ve roped Pearls into your samurai fanaticism, how about you both go to the premiere of the new movie together?”
Maya sighed. “That would be great, Nick. Unfortunately, I didn’t win any tickets even though I entered, like, fifteen different contests.” She pouted. “It’s so unfair.”
Phoenix grinned. “Well, today is your lucky day!” He pulled the tickets out of his jacket pocket. “Will Powers sent me some, and I obviously don’t need them, so…”
I won’t mention the fact that I practically begged him for them.
The tickets were snatched out of his hand before he could blink. “You’re the bestest of the best! Did you hear that, Pearly? We’re going to the premiere!”
Pearl cheered, before pausing, confused. “What’s a premiere, Mystic Maya?”
“Only the first, extra special viewing of the most amazing movie in the world!” Maya jumped up and down in her seat. “This is definitely the third best day of my life, ever!”
Phoenix smiled and shook his head as Maya danced about in her seat.
At least someone’s excited about it.
“Thank you, Nick,” Maya said, clutching the tickets to her chest. “I’m glad you chose to give them to me. Mr. Edgeworth will be so jealous!”
Agh!
“Don’t talk about Edgeworth!” Phoenix snapped, before adding a polite, “Please.”
Maya blinked a couple of times and opened her mouth to reply, before closing it again. There was a brief, but awkward, silence.
“Mr. Wright?”
Phoenix whipped his head around, recognising the voice all too well. “Kath!? I-I mean… Miss Everett? What are you doing here?”
Oh God… Did she hear my shitty comment about Edgeworth?
“Oh, I frequent this place quite a bit,” Kath replied with a smile. She gestured at her takeout bag. “Their burgers are the best in town.”
Phoenix sighed with relief.
I guess not.
“You’re not going to introduce us, Nick?” Maya asked.
Crap.
He looked at Maya, then back at Kath, panic slowly rising inside him.
What’s she going to say in front of Maya and Pearls!?
“Erm… yes, sure, okay…” Phoenix quickly tried to form a plan to get out of the awkward situation, but kept drawing blanks. “Miss Everett is a prosecutor,” he said, gesturing at Kath. “And this is Maya and her cousin Pearls,” he added, waving his hand across the table at the two of them.
“How cute!” Kath giggled. “Is he giving you both fashion advice? The matching outfits are adorable!”
Way to stereotype, Kath…
Maya raised an eyebrow. “Wow, advice from Nick? No way.”
“Hey!”
Maya grinned. “Sorry, you’re just not… hipster enough.”
“I can totally be hipster enough!”
What on Earth is hipster?
Kath laughed and punched Phoenix lightly on the shoulder. “Oh, you!”
“Mr. Nick, is Miss Everett like Mr. Edgeworth? Do you two catch bad guys together?” Pearl asked in her little innocent voice, making it hard for Phoenix to be annoyed at her.
“Erm, no, Pearls,” Phoenix replied, trying to keep his voice steady. “We’ve never worked on a case together.”
“Huh.” Maya crossed her arms. “So you two met outside of court?”
“Why, yes, we met through ‘Mr. Edgeworth’, actually.” Kath winked at Phoenix, who inwardly cringed.
At least it looks like she’s going to keep our secret…
“Order’s up!” The waiter appeared over Maya’s shoulder. “Triple Supreme?”
“Ooh, me!” Maya clapped her hands together in excitement.
“Two Single Cheese?”
“Also me!”
The waiter laughed. “Alrighty. The Mexican Tower and fries?” He looked over at Phoenix expectantly.
“Mine too!” Maya exclaimed.
Surprise evident on his face, the waiter set the burgers down in front of Maya and handed out the kids’ meals and drinks. “Wow, that’s impressive.” He leaned over slightly and gave Maya a smile. “I like a girl who can handle her food.”
Pearl suddenly sprang up out of her chair, rolling up her sleeve. “Excuse me, Mister, but Mystic Maya has her special someone right here!” She pointed across at Phoenix.
Oh, crap…
Maya laughed. “Pearly, don’t be silly. He was only being nice!”
The one time I need Maya to correct Pearls…
Phoenix could practically feel Kath’s piercing glare. “That’s not… We’re not…” He vaguely gestured between himself and Maya but the words just wouldn’t come.
Kath’s eyes narrowed further. “Don’t worry, I see how it is.” She shook her head and stormed over to the exit.
Double crap.
“Wait!” Phoenix yelled, but it was futile. He turned back to Maya. “I’ll be right back.” He jumped out of his chair and sprinted across the restaurant to the exit. Flinging the door open, he managed to catch Kath’s arm just as she was about to walk down the steps.
“This really isn’t what it looks like,” he stated breathlessly.
“I can’t believe you!” Kath screeched, shaking off his hand. “So that’s why your relationship is a secret!?”
“N-no! That’s not--”
“How could you do this to her!?”
“We are not together,” Phoenix said clearly, pointing back at the restaurant.
Frowning, Kath crossed her arms and looked him directly in the eye. “Are you sure? Don’t be lying to me right now,” she added with a dangerous tone.
“I swear we’re just friends,” Phoenix stressed. “Pearls is young and she has a lot of imagination. I couldn’t really correct her in there because, well…”
“They don’t know about you and Miles,” Kath finished for him.
Phoenix nodded. “It’s just… it’s complicated.”
Kath looked up at the sky and let out a long sigh, before looking back at him. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one.” She moved closer and poked his chest hard with her finger. “But if I find out that you’ve been messing that girl around, I will not be happy, Mr. Wright. No matter how in love with Miles you are.”
“Thank you,” Phoenix replied weakly, sighing with relief.
With one last exasperated look, Kath marched off, takeout in hand, leaving Phoenix to go back inside by himself.
Well, I wouldn’t call that a complete disaster…
As he returned to the table, Maya looked at him and frowned. “You okay, Nick?”
“Yep, no problem, all good,” Phoenix replied, sitting back down. He looked over at Maya’s plates and couldn’t help but notice that two of her burgers had already gone. “So, where were we?”
“We were at the awesome food part.” Maya grabbed her next burger. “But yours is totally going cold.”
Phoenix picked up one of his nuggets and sighed. He looked at Pearl, who smiled at him, before biting the head off one of her chicken dinosaurs.
Is it just me, or is that slightly morbid?
Shaking his head, he dropped the nugget back onto his plate.
I’m even less hungry than I was before, if that’s possible.
“What’s this, Mr. Nick?” Pearl asked, pointing at something in front of him.
Phoenix looked down and noticed a leaflet next to his plate. He picked it up and gave it a quick skim. It was advertising a local end of spring festival set up with stalls and fairground rides.
“Ooh, gimme!” Maya reached across and snatched the flyer, before eagerly reading it. “This sounds so fun! We should go!”
Phoenix shrugged. “Sure, why not? I’ll probably have some spare time this weekend.”
Maya rolled her eyes. “Not this weekend! We should go now! It’s just around the corner.”
“Wait, what? But… what about the office?”
Maya took a bite out of her burger and waved a hand. “Office smoffice. It’s not like we have anything to do there.”
“Oh, can we go? Please?” Pearl piped up, clasping her hands together.
Maya does have a point. It’s not like I have work at the moment.
Phoenix studied the two girls for a second.
I’ll be damned if I let Edgeworth ruin my fun.
He smiled. “Okay, let’s go!”
---
Three sticks of cotton candy, ten goes at hook-a-duck and a ride on the teacups later, Phoenix had come to realise that Maya’s version of fun fundamentally involved spending as much of his money as possible. Normally, he would be glad to spend time outside the office with Maya and Pearl - even with a slowly emptying wallet - but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to enjoy himself.
I thought this would make me feel better, not worse…
They walked down a row of small performance stands with comedians, bands and singers, before reaching a more open area. Looking around, Phoenix noticed that it was filled with children.
He felt a tug at his sleeve and turned his attention to Pearl, who was pointing at a sign a few feet away.
“What’s a petting zoo, Mr. Nick?”
Phoenix smiled. “It’s a place where they let you feed and pet animals.” He grabbed her hand and brought her closer to the fence so she could see inside.
Pearl looked around in awe at all the animal pens. “I’ve never had a pet before. Can I have a go?”
Maya ruffled her head. “Of course, Pearly! You can pet all the animals you want!”
“Yay! Thank you!” Pearl exclaimed, before running over to the entrance.
Phoenix and Maya followed her inside and noticed that the place seemed to double as a daycare centre. They found a demonstrator looking after a group of children in the guinea pig pen and, although hesitant at first, Pearl joined in.
“Are you good here, Pearly?” Maya asked after a few minutes. “‘Cause I wanted to show Nick something.”
Pearl’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I don’t mind, Mystic Maya! You two should spend some quality time together!”
Maya grinned. “Right, come on, Nick! Let’s go!” She grabbed Phoenix’s arm and started pulling him away from the pen.
“Whoa, wait, what…? Where are we going?” Phoenix asked, stumbling along as they weaved through the crowd.
Maya ignored him and continued walking for a while, before suddenly coming to a halt. She turned to him and pointed at the Ferris wheel next to them. “Pearly is too short to ride it, but now that there’s someone to watch her, we can have some fun!”
Slowly riding up to a height that could end up in death is fun!?
“W-wait!” Phoenix protested. “I’m not sure I--”
“Come on!”
Before Phoenix could say anything else, Maya dragged him into one of the flimsy-looking seats and lowered the bar in front of them. He turned to glare at her, only to receive a mischievous grin in return.
I hate you, Maya.
A moment later, the wheel jerked as it started to move, making Phoenix grab the safety bar on reflex.
Shit. I never even got to write my will…
“Whee!” Maya giggled, swinging her feet. “The start is almost as good as the view from the top.”
I beg to differ.
Phoenix glanced down. They were only about ten feet off the ground, but the floor seemed to move in and out of focus, causing his head to start spinning. He quickly looked back up and decided that fixing his gaze on the inside of the seat was his best option.
“So, Nick, we haven’t really had a chance to talk properly in a while…”
Phoenix focused on breathing for a few seconds, before letting out a small, “Mm-hmm.”
“You’ve been acting like a complete weirdo lately.” Maya sighed. “Well, still yourself, but distant. Like you’re hiding something. Very badly at that.”
He met her eyes for a brief second. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Hah!” Maya kicked her legs out to make the seat rock, causing Phoenix’s stomach to do a couple of flips. “You’re dating someone! I know it! I just don’t know why you won’t tell me.”
I wish I could.
“I’m not dating anyone,” Phoenix replied, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on the bar as he felt the seat get even higher.
“Is it because you’re dating a prosecutor?”
Phoenix opened his eyes and snapped his head around to face Maya. His heart seemed to jump up into his throat. “W-what!? How did you…!?”
“Aha! I knew it!” Maya gave him a triumphant grin. “You started acting all weird the minute you saw her! It was so obvious!”
Phoenix stared at her for a moment, before it clicked.
…Oh. Her.
He chuckled slightly. “You think that Kath is my girlfriend?”
“No, I know that Kath is your girlfriend!”
“See, that’s funny, because she thought I was dating you,” Phoenix said with another laugh.
Maya narrowed her eyes. “This isn’t funny, Nick! Why couldn’t you just tell me? It’s no big deal that she’s a prosecutor… or that she has really weird taste in clothes.”
You’re hardly one to talk…
“I know, but I’m not--”
“If you like her, then that’s all that matters,” Maya continued, a serious look on her face. “You know I would never judge you over something so silly!”
Phoenix sighed. “I would tell you these things, Maya. I’m not dating Kath.”
Maya frowned. “You’re still denying it?”
“Yes, because she’s not my girlfriend.”
Maya gave him one last, long, hard look, before breaking into a smile. “Ah, I see! I’m so sorry!” She clapped her hands together. “I hope it works out for the two of you in the end.”
What’s she on about now…?
Phoenix raised an eyebrow and Maya just grinned back at him.
Actually, I’m just going to leave it. I don’t want to know.
The wheel suddenly stopped as they reached the top, making the seat sway slightly. It elicited a sharp gasp from Phoenix as he remembered that he was about a hundred times higher than he felt comfortable.
Maya snorted. “You’re such a wuss! I could literally fall asleep up here!”
Good for you.
“Oh, yeah, there was one other thing…” Maya added, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“Are you going to pair me off with Franziska von Karma now?”
Maya laughed. “No, you idiot. It’s about Mr. Edgeworth.”
Phoenix felt his jaw tighten. He looked off to the side, trying his hardest not to focus on the fact that he was over two hundred feet in the air. A few seconds passed and the wheel started to move again.
“Did he do something bad?” Maya asked, putting a hand on his arm. “‘Cause you totally snapped at me when I mentioned him earlier…”
Phoenix gripped the safety bar even tighter, his knuckles turning white. “I don’t want to talk about him right now. Please don’t make me.”
There was a pause.
“If it’s any help,” Maya said hesitantly, “I know you two will work things out. You always have, and you always will.” She gently patted his arm, before withdrawing her hand.
Phoenix smiled weakly. “Thanks, Maya.”
I just wish I had the same confidence as you.
“Sorry for dragging you up here,” she said apologetically. “It’s just… it was the only way to get you to answer me.”
Phoenix shook his head. “It’s fine.”
Oh, I’ll get you back. You just wait.
---
Phoenix unlocked the door and looked at his watch as he removed the ‘Out to lunch’ sign. 4:07.
I hope no one actually waited for me to get back from lunch.
Shrugging, he walked straight into his office and sat down at his desk. It didn’t look like he had any messages.
Figures.
He picked up a pen and started tapping it on the desk, trying to think of something to keep him busy for the rest of the day. He’d already rearranged his case files twice since yesterday, so that was out of the question. Watching the news was another option, but he didn’t really feel like it at the moment. In fact, he didn’t feel like doing anything. Even though he’d just spent the last four and a half hours with Maya and Pearl, all he could think about was Edgeworth.
Why do I care so much about that jerk? It’s not like I don’t have other friends.
…But other friends are useless if I can’t stop thinking about him while I’m with them.
Annoyed, Phoenix dropped the pen and got up, then made his way to the window. Resting his hands on the windowsill, he looked at the Gatewater Hotel next door and spotted a couple kissing in one of the windows.
I guess there’s no point in telling them to get a room.
Phoenix scoffed at his bad joke and shook his head, before turning his gaze to one of the trees between the buildings. A squirrel was running along one of the branches, an acorn in its mouth. Phoenix followed it with his eyes until it disappeared in the foliage. He looked around for another squirrel, or perhaps a bird, but couldn’t find anything.
Damn it, tree! Distract me!
After looking for a few more seconds, he sighed, defeated, and rested his forehead on the window.
I have to go talk to him.
Glancing at his watch, he saw that only five minutes had passed since he got back to the office. There was no way he could wait till five. But what was he going to tell Maya?
…I’ve got it.
He pushed himself off the window and made his way to the reception area.
“Hey, Maya, could you close the office today?”
She looked up at him from the couch and frowned. “Why?”
“I had a message,” Phoenix lied. “A potential client. I have to go meet him.”
Maya’s eyes widened. “Ooh!” She glanced at Pearl next to her and jumped off the couch. “We’re coming with you!”
Crap.
“No, you can’t,” Phoenix argued, shaking his head.
“What? Why not!?”
“Because someone has to close the office.”
Maya raised an eyebrow. “Nick, we were out of the office all day. I don’t think it’ll make a difference if we close a bit early.” She smiled. “Plus we got a client now so it doesn’t matter! Let’s go!”
Phoenix bit his lip. He hadn’t thought this through.
I should have known that Maya would want to come. And now I got her all excited for nothing.
Good job, Phoenix!
“Look, Maya,” he began hesitantly, still not sure of what to say.
Should I just tell her the truth? Why do I feel the need to hide the fact that I’m spending time with Edgeworth? It’s not like she’d figure out that we’re pretending to date just because we spend more time together than usual…
Plus she already knows I’m mad at him, so she wouldn’t find it weird if I said that I have to go talk to him.
“I’m just--”
No… I’ve already made up this whole story about a client. It would be too suspicious now.
Phoenix sighed. “Look, you can’t come because… the client asked me to come alone.”
Maya scowled. “What? That sounds awfully sketchy…”
“No, no, he’s just… shy! Yeah, he’s very, very shy!”
Nice one.
Maya gave him a sceptical look. “Uh-huh. And what’s the real reason?”
“It is the real reason!” Phoenix insisted. “He’s so shy he didn’t even tell me his name!”
“And you’re still going to meet him?”
“Well, yeah…” Phoenix replied with a shrug. “He sounded like he could really use my help.”
Maya rolled her eyes and flopped back down onto the couch. “Fine, whatever. I’ll close the stupid office.”
“Hey! My office is not stupid!”
Maya gave him an unimpressed look, to which he laughed.
“Thanks, Maya, I’ll owe you one!” he said as he made his way to the door.
“Be careful,” she called from behind him. “I’m not sure I trust that guy.”
Phoenix turned to her and smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s harmless.”
Especially since he doesn’t exist.
---
Stepping in the elevator, Phoenix pressed the button for the twelfth floor and moved back to make room for a blonde woman and a man in a grey suit. He glanced down at the woman’s pantsuit, which was made out of weird fabric that reminded him of his grandmother’s couch.
He frowned.
She could be attractive if she didn’t wear recycled furniture…
Looking back up, he realised that both she and the man were eyeing him oddly.
I guess most prosecutors know who I am now.
I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…
The man turned around and pressed the button for the second floor, before leaning against the wall.
Really? Even I’m not that lazy…
The doors closed and the elevator almost immediately reached the second floor, where both prosecutors got off, whispering to each other as they headed down the hallway.
They’re probably talking about how awesome I am.
Chuckling to himself, Phoenix looked at his watch and wondered why he was in such a hurry to get here. It wasn’t even five o’clock and there was no way Edgeworth was going home anytime soon.
I should have sucked it up and waited instead of lying to Maya…
He shook his head and decided he’d have to fix that later. He had something more important to deal with right now.
The elevator doors opened with a ding and Phoenix exited towards Edgeworth’s office. Looking around, he was thankful to see that the corridor was empty. He definitely didn’t want to run into Kath again.
He reached room 1202 and paused for a second, before knocking on the door.
“Come in,” Edgeworth called from the other side.
Here goes nothing…
Phoenix entered the office and braced himself for the predictable reaction.
“What are you doing here, Wright?” Miles asked sternly, glaring at him from across the room.
Turning around, Phoenix closed the door and locked it, then turned back to Miles, arms crossed. “We need to talk.”
Miles shook his head and turned his attention back to his paperwork. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
Phoenix rolled his eyes and made his way over to the desk, before slamming both hands down onto it, making Miles jump.
“What do you think you’re doing!?” Miles snapped.
“Getting your attention,” Phoenix replied, staring down at him as he leaned over the desk. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.”
Miles looked at him for a moment, an odd expression on his face, before looking back down. “Nothing is going on; I’m just busy.”
Phoenix scowled. “You’re lying. Yesterday, I asked you if something was wrong and you said yes. You would never give me such a straight answer if it wasn’t true.”
Miles paused, his pen hovering over the paper. He seemed to ponder for a few seconds, then dropped the pen and sighed. “Fine. I’ve had something on my mind for a while, but I don’t think telling you would do any good.”
“Why not?” Phoenix asked, doing his best not to lose his patience. How long was Edgeworth going to keep avoiding the question?
“Because… it’s not something you can help with,” Miles replied, still staring down at his desk.
Where have I heard this one before?
“Try me.”
Miles looked up at him. His expression was not quite readable, but Phoenix could see a hint of pain in his eyes. Whatever he was hiding, it was definitely affecting him more than he wanted to admit.
“Come on, Edgeworth,” Phoenix said calmly. “You know you can tell me anything.”
Miles turned away. “This is... different.”
“How so?”
Miles remained quiet for a few seconds, then suddenly got up and walked over to the couch. He sat down and patted the cushion to his right, giving Phoenix a quick glance before averting his gaze.
Finally, we’re getting somewhere.
Smiling, Phoenix joined him and waited for him to be ready to talk. Rushing him wouldn’t accomplish anything at this point, and he didn’t want to risk making him change his mind.
A moment passed. Edgeworth was staring off into space, a pensive expression on his face. Phoenix could only guess what was on his mind, and it was seriously starting to worry him. What if something really bad had happened?
No, that’s not possible. He seemed perfectly fine on Sunday.
…And then he left in a hurry without any explanation.
Phoenix frowned.
Come to think of it, he still hasn’t told me what that was about.
Miles suddenly turned to him and studied his face, looking uneasy. “I think… I think it’s time I told you the truth. I tried to believe that it would go away if I just ignored it, but now I know that I was deceiving myself.” He paused, letting out a long, shaky breath. “I was hoping that you would figure it out yourself and save me the trouble.” He scoffed. “I even thought for a while that you felt the same way, but I was wrong.”
Phoenix laughed. “Edgeworth, stop. You’re making it sound like--”
Suddenly, everything made sense. Everything Edgeworth had said, all the strange looks he’d given him, the way he’d been acting.
No, this can’t be right.
The expression on Edgeworth’s face told him otherwise.
Phoenix felt his mouth dry up. “I-I don’t…” He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down. “Edgeworth, I… I don’t know what to say…”
His throat was burning. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be.
“Edgeworth… We weren’t actually dating,” Phoenix blurted out, aware that he was stating the obvious, but unable to think of anything else at the moment.
“I know that,” Miles replied dryly, clearly offended.
This is all wrong. I’m not…
Phoenix swallowed hard. “I didn’t know you were…”
“Neither did I.” Miles lowered his gaze. “I’d never really thought about it before, but then--”
“What made you think I felt the same?” Phoenix cut in, causing Miles to look back up at him. “Was it all those stupid jokes I made?” He brought a hand to his face and groaned. “God, that was so stupid. If I knew you--”
“No,” Miles interrupted, shaking his head. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Edgeworth!” Phoenix snapped, glaring at him. “How long has this been going on? When were you planning on telling me? This whole time, I was trying to fix our friendship, and you were…”
Miles’ face turned somber and he quickly looked away. “Wright…”
A wave of guilt washed over Phoenix. He hadn’t meant to raise his voice. Where had all this anger come from? He tried to calm down but his chest felt tight and it was hard to breathe.
This can’t be happening.
He had spent so much time learning to deal with Edgeworth, so much time showing him that he didn’t need to push people away. How could this have happened when Edgeworth could barely deal with having friends? A billion questions popped up in his mind, but Phoenix wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the answers. All he could focus on at the moment was the awkward feeling in the pit of his stomach.
I need to get out of here.
Phoenix stood up. “Edgeworth, I’m sorry, I… I can’t deal with this right now.” He turned around and made his way to the door. After quickly unlocking it, he started turning the handle but paused. He really didn’t want to leave like this, but he needed some time to think. “I’m so sorry,” he added weakly, before opening the door and walking out.
Once again, he was relieved to see the corridor was empty, and could barely believe his luck when he found the elevator still on this floor. He swiftly entered and pressed the button for the lobby, then felt a sudden surge of emotion course through him.
“Goddamn it!” He punched the wall out of frustration and immediately regretted it as his hand started hurting.
I need to calm down.
Rubbing his hand, Phoenix took a deep breath, only to realise that he was shaking. Why was he so upset? He had no right to be mad at Edgeworth for feeling that way, no matter how weird it made him feel. But no, that wasn’t it. The more he thought about it, the more he felt… betrayed? Edgeworth knew full well that all he wanted was to fix their friendship, and yet he had taken advantage of the situation to spend time with him.
But… he said he thought I felt the same way?
The doors opened and Phoenix hastily got out, nearly bumping into an older man who was waiting for the elevator. “Sorry,” he said weakly, before turning towards the exit.
Why would he think that? He knows I’m straight… right?
Phoenix shook his head.
Of course he does. I never said anything to make him think otherwise.
…Maybe he misinterpreted something I said?
Reaching the exit, Phoenix pushed the door open and looked over at the bus stop, only to see that the bus was about to leave.
“Shit.” He took a few hurried steps, but quickly stopped as the bus started pulling away. Sighing, he decided he wasn’t in the mood to wait for the next one. It was a long walk from here to his place, but maybe walking would help clear his head.
The idea started sounding even better when he realised that his eyes were stinging.
Am I actually going to cry over Edgeworth? What’s wrong with me?