jeeeez
i dunno. this whole idea of living with roommates stemmed from saving money and being with friends. simple, no?
it's a bit more complicated than that. friends are one thing as just "friends" but becoming roommates requires a whole different level of closeness. this actually isn't news to me. jesse and mike, gil and justin, naoko and the indian girl, whatever/whoever have all served as fine examples for me to at LEAST know what to expect from a "roomie." and it's not like i've never had roommates before. none of this is new to me.
and all things considered, i -chose- elena to be my roommate and i don't regret that. in many ways we think alike and of all people, we're probably a good match as roommates.
however, i never anticipated the whole girl aspect of it. rooming with someone i recognize and respect as a lesbian means there's little or no chance i'd start liking her ...like that. i thought this was a plus for me. this is where everyone would read that as "masaki's expecting to accidentally walk in on some hot, lesbian action someday". heh, wrong. i just wanted to live with someone i felt comfortable with. my point is, watching elena and karen up close, whether i agree with what goes on or not, i envy the shit outta them.
it's different from simply hanging out with a couple or watching two people make out at clubs or whatever. heck, i hung out with a few couples and while it's awkward as all fuck, i'm kinda use to that. but LIVING one who has a significant other... not just a fuck buddy or some booty call, but someone who has a real girl/boyfriend, has a whole new impact. i'd imagine living with an actual couple is a whole notha dimension and it makes me wonder how thick justin and ana's skins must be.
right now, more than ever (ehhh, "most"), i want someone to call a girlfriend. i'm not sure why or what for, or who for that matter... but i just want.
and this is not blaming elena or anything. it's just the recent chain of events that led me to this wonderfully disgusting now. this is where i recall i'm the one always saying i enjoy the trip, not the destination, that it's the "want" that makes the target more desirable... and in a month or so, i'll fall back into my depressed slumps where i'm not wanting anything at all.
progress. anchors. comfort. and. trust.
it's a bit more complicated than that. friends are one thing as just "friends" but becoming roommates requires a whole different level of closeness. this actually isn't news to me. jesse and mike, gil and justin, naoko and the indian girl, whatever/whoever have all served as fine examples for me to at LEAST know what to expect from a "roomie." and it's not like i've never had roommates before. none of this is new to me.
and all things considered, i -chose- elena to be my roommate and i don't regret that. in many ways we think alike and of all people, we're probably a good match as roommates.
however, i never anticipated the whole girl aspect of it. rooming with someone i recognize and respect as a lesbian means there's little or no chance i'd start liking her ...like that. i thought this was a plus for me. this is where everyone would read that as "masaki's expecting to accidentally walk in on some hot, lesbian action someday". heh, wrong. i just wanted to live with someone i felt comfortable with. my point is, watching elena and karen up close, whether i agree with what goes on or not, i envy the shit outta them.
it's different from simply hanging out with a couple or watching two people make out at clubs or whatever. heck, i hung out with a few couples and while it's awkward as all fuck, i'm kinda use to that. but LIVING one who has a significant other... not just a fuck buddy or some booty call, but someone who has a real girl/boyfriend, has a whole new impact. i'd imagine living with an actual couple is a whole notha dimension and it makes me wonder how thick justin and ana's skins must be.
right now, more than ever (ehhh, "most"), i want someone to call a girlfriend. i'm not sure why or what for, or who for that matter... but i just want.
and this is not blaming elena or anything. it's just the recent chain of events that led me to this wonderfully disgusting now. this is where i recall i'm the one always saying i enjoy the trip, not the destination, that it's the "want" that makes the target more desirable... and in a month or so, i'll fall back into my depressed slumps where i'm not wanting anything at all.
progress. anchors. comfort. and. trust.