mass update again.
Ugh, I am terrible at keeping this thing updated. It's something I'm bound to do more often once winter hits. Here, have a bulleted list:
-I have a second job at Staples as an EasyTech rep. I'm only being paid 25 cents more than I earn at Blockbuster, but it's an improvement. I get about 18 hours a week to start with because EasyTech has the most difficult training program in the store, then I go down to 12 while they figure out scheduling, then it's based on how good our VIBE dynamic is out on the salesfloor. Needless to say, it's a different approach than what I'm used to. But I love my department manager Tom, & the assistant store manager Jason is funny as hell. Cory, the guy I mentioned who already works at Staples in Webster, loves to stop by Blockbuster & trade customer stories with me now xD
-I do have to take my lip piercings out (the store manager is the only one who cares, everyone else thinks they're fine), but oh well. Can't win em all.
-I have gained 5lbs on my stomach. I look pregnant, & I don't mean that in an "omg I'm so fat!!" way, cos I know I'm definitely not fat. That's just where my weight gain has gone this month.. o_o
-I'm going to be changing up what I write about on this blog. It's nothing I need to specify, since anyone who still reads this thing is just going to have to take notice. Too bad.
-The beginnings of my week consist of closing at Blockbuster til 11:30, opening at Staples at 8, closing, opening, closing, etc. It's wearing me the fuck out. But I can't complain about getting an extra 500$ a month, especially since I want to move out before my birthday.
-ironically, ever since I started at Staples, my BB hours have gone from mid-20's to mid-30's, plus I've done some overtime to cover for other people. Life is good. I'm working a total of 55 hours a week.
-I bought a Blackberry PlayBook, originally priced at 500$, for a grand total of 142$. And that's before the 100$ rebate I'll get in the mail this week. This tablet is omfg sexy *_* And why so cheap? Promotion for a new product + rebate + employee discount + employee incentive + early Christmas money from my parents. I love Staples.
and the best news of all.. Jesse got a job! Well, two jobs, once Gamestop opens in Fredonia. He works overnights at Tim Horton's 40+ hours a week. It's awesome because he's also finding more time to work at getting his license & is now earning quite a bit of money (tips definitely help), but the only sad part is that he leaves for work at 9:15pm, gets home at 8:30am; I work 8am-2pm & then 5pm-11:30/12:30. So, such an overlap exists that we only have time to chat for an hour or so between when I'm home from my second job & he's just woken up after his overnight shift. It sucks, but we're managing. Some days are easier than others, though.. It's been a bit difficult the past few days because that stupid season depression or whatever the hell it is is kicking in. Working so much doesn't exactly help my mood, either. I think he has Sunday & Monday off, so there's time to talk for a bit between getting home from Staples & going to work at Blockbuster on Monday..
Now I know how Sara feels not being able to see Jared as often. And on that note, their 5-year anniversary is coming up next month! Hooooly crap. And then there's Jesse's birthday on the 21st this month, for which I need to figure out a gift. I have a few ideas in mind..
Something I ate must not be agreeing with me today. My mind feels clouded. I'd better not be getting sick again, or I will destroy everything in a one-mile radius. I'm stubborn when I'm sick cos I refuse to let myself be taken care of & pampered; I'd rather be up & about doing things to distract myself from feeling so shitty. Unfortunately, this means I take longer to heal. Damnit.
This lingering feeling of persistent loneliness deep inside me can't be filled with just meeting friends for a while or talking to people online. It's why I'm honestly glad when I go to work at Blockbuster, because I get to chat with coworkers & regulars while acting ~so excited~. It makes me completely forget how empty I feel inside. Instead of resorting to discussing the past or reflecting upon it, I'm going to push forward & stop living in the past. Period. I'm not going to talk about it on here anymore, because it strained a lot of things between JJ & I. It's more important that I save this friendship than try to confront ghosts of the past that no longer exist.
I hold onto things for way too long. Could that be called emotional hoarding? PROBABLY. It's a bad habit I need to let go of. I had a dream last night that told me it's time to let go, & it was a very strong one.
No matter. I shall go shower, eat, get ready for work, & have fun working a double shift at a job I actually love.