Repeat the Mantra
Every now and then I feel like a child among adults. I'm in my mid-twenties, I still have three years left before I get my degree, I've never worked more than a part-time job, and I've never had a serious relationship. ...except perhaps one: Dawn.
I don't know why it happens. Maybe I'm lonely or maybe I'm grieving over meeting someone I'm interested in and knowing that it could never work. Whatever the case, on rare occasions I dream about Dawn. They're nice dreams. Nothing cryptic about them. Always innocent and full of fondness. But I always awake feeling haunted. I think it's because I never got to talk to her again after our break-up. I never got any closure. To this day that still weighs on me.
I know what went wrong in our relationship, but I don't know when things went that way. That's the whole problem. I've never been able to figure out relationships, so I never felt comfortable in one. Dawn was the closest I ever came to being comfortable with someone else. I never had the chance to take a look back and, with her help, figure things out between us.
I'm with her sometimes in my dreams when I can't be with someone in my life. I've tried and failed, time and time again. Every time I do it just serves to reinforce the simple fact: I am better off alone.
I don't know why it happens. Maybe I'm lonely or maybe I'm grieving over meeting someone I'm interested in and knowing that it could never work. Whatever the case, on rare occasions I dream about Dawn. They're nice dreams. Nothing cryptic about them. Always innocent and full of fondness. But I always awake feeling haunted. I think it's because I never got to talk to her again after our break-up. I never got any closure. To this day that still weighs on me.
I know what went wrong in our relationship, but I don't know when things went that way. That's the whole problem. I've never been able to figure out relationships, so I never felt comfortable in one. Dawn was the closest I ever came to being comfortable with someone else. I never had the chance to take a look back and, with her help, figure things out between us.
I'm with her sometimes in my dreams when I can't be with someone in my life. I've tried and failed, time and time again. Every time I do it just serves to reinforce the simple fact: I am better off alone.