Faint...
"Remember this?"
- Sherry *touches my leg*
"No... Last time I listened to you it went horribly wrong."
- Me *laughing*
I am at Gwena's birthday party. Normally this would mean I just got outta the house. But... See, I told Sherry I wouldn't make this awkward but I've been sitting across from Clint for... uh, 20mins or so. Back in the day, it would have just been that... sitting. This is different. We have barely uttered a peep in each other's direction in YEARS outside of "Happy justbirthday" on one another's name day.
I kinda acknowledged his presence earlier but yeah... No. It's totally awkward. For me anyway. Probably cuz I make shit awkward that shouldn't be awkward cuz I'm freaking awkward. Sue me. Send me the bill.
Have you ever been OBVIOUSLY trying extra hard not to look at someone only to have your eyeballs drag across them ever so slowly every couple minutes? It's weird. I didn't even say "Hi". I had every intention to but... No... I made this weird. I have no understanding of interactions with people... Unless I'm comfortable... And right now, I'm not even gonna act like I'm comfortable. My brain is screaming to say something... Be social. But my body is like "Nope."
Lord, he walked past me and said "Hi." So ya see people, I'm the weirdo making unawkward stuff awkward as Hell. Let that be a lesson to you kids: It's only awkward if you sign up for it to be awkward... I'm lying. I was like: "Really?"
It's sad how people can go from knowing one another to... This. Like... Genuine shock at someone speaking to you. We really have fallen far. *sighs* Ah well. I suppose it says something that he spoke... Meanwhile I was cowering in the blazing sun... Trying to masquerade as a chair. Note to self: My chair game is whack.
Sherry was like "You should go hug him." I was like "Noooooooooo." Dude, we spoke. I consider that a win. Don't poke the bear.
The rest of the party was fun.
Sorry... It's the next day. Not my fault. Sherry brought me home and somehow we stayed up to almost 2am talking. David kept pointing out what time it was but we kept jabbering along like we couldn't hear. *laughs*
I learned something yesterday. As much as I've been questioning my value, I need to figure out why I'm doing it now. Like, I should know because I surround myself with people who love me. I think my struggle is more about my home life. *cue the lightbulb*
Hm.
Later
PS: I generally spent the majority of the party with Gwena. She eventually fell asleep on me. She had a huge day.
- Sherry *touches my leg*
"No... Last time I listened to you it went horribly wrong."
- Me *laughing*
I am at Gwena's birthday party. Normally this would mean I just got outta the house. But... See, I told Sherry I wouldn't make this awkward but I've been sitting across from Clint for... uh, 20mins or so. Back in the day, it would have just been that... sitting. This is different. We have barely uttered a peep in each other's direction in YEARS outside of "Happy justbirthday" on one another's name day.
I kinda acknowledged his presence earlier but yeah... No. It's totally awkward. For me anyway. Probably cuz I make shit awkward that shouldn't be awkward cuz I'm freaking awkward. Sue me. Send me the bill.
Have you ever been OBVIOUSLY trying extra hard not to look at someone only to have your eyeballs drag across them ever so slowly every couple minutes? It's weird. I didn't even say "Hi". I had every intention to but... No... I made this weird. I have no understanding of interactions with people... Unless I'm comfortable... And right now, I'm not even gonna act like I'm comfortable. My brain is screaming to say something... Be social. But my body is like "Nope."
Lord, he walked past me and said "Hi." So ya see people, I'm the weirdo making unawkward stuff awkward as Hell. Let that be a lesson to you kids: It's only awkward if you sign up for it to be awkward... I'm lying. I was like: "Really?"
It's sad how people can go from knowing one another to... This. Like... Genuine shock at someone speaking to you. We really have fallen far. *sighs* Ah well. I suppose it says something that he spoke... Meanwhile I was cowering in the blazing sun... Trying to masquerade as a chair. Note to self: My chair game is whack.
Sherry was like "You should go hug him." I was like "Noooooooooo." Dude, we spoke. I consider that a win. Don't poke the bear.
The rest of the party was fun.
Sorry... It's the next day. Not my fault. Sherry brought me home and somehow we stayed up to almost 2am talking. David kept pointing out what time it was but we kept jabbering along like we couldn't hear. *laughs*
I learned something yesterday. As much as I've been questioning my value, I need to figure out why I'm doing it now. Like, I should know because I surround myself with people who love me. I think my struggle is more about my home life. *cue the lightbulb*
Hm.
Later
PS: I generally spent the majority of the party with Gwena. She eventually fell asleep on me. She had a huge day.