Score Upon Which Reality Is Written 7/? Jack/Ianto
Title: The Score Upon Which Reality Is Written
Author: Shannon
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to RTD and the BBC
Distribution: shannons_fic and A Teaspoon and an Open Mind and The Library. Anyone else wants it just ask first.
Spoilers: Everything in Series one and two.
Summary: Jack wants to change one part of Ianto's past to make him happier in the present and future, but it doesn't go as planned.
Beta: kitty_poker1
Notes: I'm using this post as my general timeline for events. I don't know how correct it is but it seems close enough so it's what I’m going with. If there is a more accepted or official timeline available feel free to send me a link.
Artwork done by katekat1010
Part Seven
Ianto woke slowly, reluctant to leave the best night's rest he'd had in recent memory. For the first time since Lisa had died he hadn't had a single nightmare. Well, not after that first one. He felt the heavy arm draped across his waist and the hard chest pressed against his back and it took a moment to realize that it was Jack. He'd asked him to stay, to not leave him alone with his nightmares. It had worked, no nightmares. He'd felt more calm and safe than he had for so long that it felt like a lifetime ago.
What really worried him was the nightmare he did have. It wasn't the usual one of Canary Wharf. He didn't see Lisa's lifeless half-converted body in the conversion chamber. He still saw Cybermen and Daleks being pulled into the void. There were still the bodies of countless friends and co-workers strewn throughout the hallways. This time, though, he saw other things. Things that hadn't happened. None of it made sense and the dream was too jumbled for him to understand most of it but he saw Lisa as she'd looked like that day, half human, half Cyberman, in the Hub attached to some kind of life support thing; he saw Myfanwy attacking her, and himself hiding a body. He saw Annie, the pizza delivery girl, dead. He saw other things too, like the cannibals-no surprise there. He saw Owen fighting a Weevil in a cage, and Suzie alive again, and Gwen dying. He saw Jack die…and come back. He saw himself shooting Owen. So many things that just didn't make sense.
The nightmare had stopped when Jack held him, though. Just having Jack next to him, holding him had kept it at bay and he didn’t understand why. Yeah, lately his nightmares had been about Lisa and Canary Wharf but he'd had nightmares most of his life and simply having someone in his bed had not been a solution in the past. They had subsided when he was with Lisa but not right away and not when he was with anyone else. So, he really didn't understand why Jack, a virtual stranger, had been able to make him feel so safe.
Then there were the other dreams. The ones that had started after Jack had joined him, after he had felt the strength of Jack's arms around him. They weren't nightmares but they were disturbing anyway. Mostly because he didn't know where they were coming from. All coming in flashes again, just like the nightmare, and none about anything that had ever happened or that he had ever even thought about before now. It was all images of him and Jack. Flirting-a lot of flirting---but that wasn't unusual. That had happened, of course. There was kissing. There were flashes of him and Jack in bed…well, that thing that Jack called a bed. Images of them in the archives, the hothouse and other places around the Hub, the one constant that they were having sex in every image that played through his mind. He also had this undeniable feeling of loving Jack very deeply. And none of it made any sense. He wasn't gay. He didn't want Jack. Jack didn't want him, not really. Jack flirted because he was Jack and flirted with everyone. So where had these dreams come from?
He wasn't going to figure any of this out now. Jack had promised him answers to at least some of his questions, and he'd just have to add all of this to the list. With a sigh he carefully moved Jack's arm, not wanting to disturb his sleep, and slid out of the bed. He needed to shower and sort out breakfast. Jack had stayed her to care for him so the least he could do was provide a decent meal. He pulled out a pair of a jeans and jumper from the dresser and silently made his way from the bedroom to the shower.
***
Jack woke to the smell of coffee, and followed it the kitchen.
"Good morning," he said, leaning against the wall just inside the kitchen. "You should be resting, not making breakfast."
"It's the least I can do," Ianto responded, turning to set two plates on the table. "And I don't need rest. I need to be busy."
Jack considered arguing with him. Ianto did need to rest. Owen was very clear about that, but preparing one meal was hardly strenuous. So, he sat in the closest chair and smiled at Ianto. "Just not too much today, okay? If there are complications and we have to call Owen he's going to blame me."
Ianto smiled slightly. "I know. I can cook and do light housework though," he said. "And if we're going to be here for more than today we need to bring some food in."
Jack agreed and they finished their meal in silence. Jack offered to take care of the dishes when they finished. Ianto agreed and went to see what was on television while he waited for Jack to join him.
Jack quickly finished washing and drying the dishes and went to find Ianto. He'd promised him answers and he'd try to give them to him. He still wasn't sure how he could do that without saying too much but he'd figure it out. He sat down next to Ianto on the sofa and waited for Ianto speak, part of him hoping that Ianto had forgotten wanting an explanation over night. No such luck.
"You promised me you'd explain everything," Ianto finally said turning toward him.
"No, I promised to tell you as much as I could," Jack corrected. "And I will."
"Okay," Ianto agreed. "But I do have some questions for you when you're done. Some things that I saw in my dreams that I don't understand."
"Just listen to everything first, okay? Then I'll answer your questions if I can."
Jack was quiet for a few moments, trying to gather his own thoughts, now with the added worry of what Ianto's questions were. What he had seen in his dreams. Paradoxes weren't the only reason you had to avoid giving away information when you changed a timeline. In rare cases, people retained residual memories of the original timeline. Most of the time those people never thought anything of the memories because they usually appeared, as Ianto had said, in dreams that simply didn't make sense, but they could trigger full memories and that could cause problems.
Deciding the best place to start was the beginning, or as close to it as he could, Jack started talking. "I'm from the future," Jack said, then smiled slightly when Ianto rolled his eyes. "Right, you're the archivist, you figured that out long ago, I'd assume. I am from the 51st century, but what I mean is that I'm from just a few months into the future as well. I-something happened that made me realize how important you are to me and I decided that I could go back in time, just a few months, and change some things that would make you happier."
***
Ianto listened in silence as Jack explained. Most of what Jack was telling him didn't make a lot of sense but he wasn't surprised. Jack had told him that there were going to be a lot of things he just couldn't elaborate on because it could cause a paradox because he was interfering in his own timeline, and something about spoilers.
What Ianto did understand was that something horrible had happened to him at Canary Wharf and Jack had tried to fix it. He couldn't figure out what could possibly have happened that was worse than what did occur. He'd lost his job, his friends, and his girlfriend, all within hours. What could've been worse? He obviously hadn't died himself or Jack would never have met him. His mind briefly flashed to the images in his nightmare of Lisa half converted in the Hub, but he pushed it out of his mind.
"And I left with the Doctor, because I wanted him to fix me," Jack continued his story. "He couldn't do anything for me. But then we were captured by the Master and…none of this has happened for you yet but since you won't remember when it does I don't think it's a problem. For a year I was held and tortured; he found new and inventive ways to kill me all the time. He found ways to torture you to hurt me and it made me realize how much I need you in my life. How much you mean to me."
"Jack," Ianto interrupted. "We don't-I'm just your employee."
"Now, yes. Before we were more." Jack sighed. "Okay, I think I explained all I can , but you said you had questions?"
Ianto sat quietly for a moment trying to gather his thoughts and figure out what he wanted answered most. Jack had come back in time more than once in an attempt to make him happy. First to Canary Wharf, then a few months later to make sure he was hired, and now because of the cannibals. It did all imply more than a co-worker or employee relationship. So that added to his questions in some ways, but then he thought about his dreams last night.
"My nightmare," Ianto said slowly, still trying to find the right words. "I saw things, things that didn't happen. Couldn't have happened."
Jack nodded, but waited for him to continue.
"I saw Lisa. Alive, sort of. She was---like she was that day. The day she died. She was part Cyberman. But she was in the Hub. I saw Myfanwy attack her."
***
Jack listened to Ianto tell him about his nightmare. Ianto was obviously one of those people that retained some memories and he needed to be careful not to trigger them more fully. He listened to him talk about Annie's death, Suzie, Owen and the Weevil, and so many other things that this Ianto shouldn't know. Didn't know, really. They were all just flashes he'd seen while sleeping.
"I know none of it is real, especially about Lisa," Ianto said finally. "It couldn't be. She died in London. Then there was the other stuff. The dreams."
"Dreams?" Jack asked. Maybe he would have to retcon Ianto after all. Getting all these memories back could be dangerous for him.
"Dreams," Ianto repeated. "About you. Us. This morning I thought I was losing my mind. I'm-I'm straight. I don't think about you that way. You're my boss, that's all. But I guess after your story I know the answer to those dreams. Those things did happen, just not to me. Not this me, right?"
"Yes," Jack answered, getting up and began to pace the room. This wasn't good; Ianto was going to remember things he shouldn't. Jack couldn’t stop it, though. He wouldn't retcon him, though, not unless it looked like the memories would do more harm than good. Jack hoped he wouldn't remember the details of the stuff in his nightmare but he wasn't sure he wanted him to forget the dreams. "Sometimes when timelines are changed people will retain residual memories of the old timeline. They shouldn't. It's gone, it never happened but they remember anyway. It's rare, but not unheard of. You seem to be one of those people."
"So one day I'll remember everything that was changed? I'll have two sets of memories?"
"No, you shouldn’t," Jack assured him. "It's really not good for you to remember any of it. Most will probably just keep popping up in dreams."
"All right," Ianto said. "So I don't want to push the memories to return. But what about the nightmare? Was that all real too?"
"Some of it could've been. But again, none of it is real now so you should try to let it go if you can."
***
"What do I do with the information I do have now?" Ianto asked. "Just pretend I don't know that we were-that you and I-that, Jack, what were we exactly? Did we date? Was it just sex? Were we in love? I really don't know what I'm supposed to do with any of this."
"I don't want to tell you too much of what we had," Jack admitted. "None of it happened for you anyway. What we do now, what you do with those flashes of memory you have about us, is up to you."
"I don't know what I want to do," Ianto said quietly. "Two days ago I would've said I wasn't interested in you, that I like women. Now I'm confused about all of it. I need time to think."
"What happens is up to you, Ianto," Jack repeated. "Obviously, you know what I want. You know why I'm here but it's your decision."
Before Jack could say anymore or Ianto could respond Jack's wrist strap beeped loudly and Jack looked down at it and swore. "I have to go to the Hub. There's been Rift activity. You rest and I'll be back as quickly as I can."
Ianto watched Jack grab his coat and leave the flat. It was still early but he was exhausted. So much to think about. Jack's answers had just made him more confused, not less. Maybe Jack being gone for a few hours was a good thing. He could think. Figure out what he wanted to do. Figure out what he was going to do with all these memories that didn't belong there floating around his head.
tbc
Author: Shannon
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. They belong to RTD and the BBC
Distribution: shannons_fic and A Teaspoon and an Open Mind and The Library. Anyone else wants it just ask first.
Spoilers: Everything in Series one and two.
Summary: Jack wants to change one part of Ianto's past to make him happier in the present and future, but it doesn't go as planned.
Beta: kitty_poker1
Notes: I'm using this post as my general timeline for events. I don't know how correct it is but it seems close enough so it's what I’m going with. If there is a more accepted or official timeline available feel free to send me a link.
Artwork done by katekat1010
Part Seven
Ianto woke slowly, reluctant to leave the best night's rest he'd had in recent memory. For the first time since Lisa had died he hadn't had a single nightmare. Well, not after that first one. He felt the heavy arm draped across his waist and the hard chest pressed against his back and it took a moment to realize that it was Jack. He'd asked him to stay, to not leave him alone with his nightmares. It had worked, no nightmares. He'd felt more calm and safe than he had for so long that it felt like a lifetime ago.
What really worried him was the nightmare he did have. It wasn't the usual one of Canary Wharf. He didn't see Lisa's lifeless half-converted body in the conversion chamber. He still saw Cybermen and Daleks being pulled into the void. There were still the bodies of countless friends and co-workers strewn throughout the hallways. This time, though, he saw other things. Things that hadn't happened. None of it made sense and the dream was too jumbled for him to understand most of it but he saw Lisa as she'd looked like that day, half human, half Cyberman, in the Hub attached to some kind of life support thing; he saw Myfanwy attacking her, and himself hiding a body. He saw Annie, the pizza delivery girl, dead. He saw other things too, like the cannibals-no surprise there. He saw Owen fighting a Weevil in a cage, and Suzie alive again, and Gwen dying. He saw Jack die…and come back. He saw himself shooting Owen. So many things that just didn't make sense.
The nightmare had stopped when Jack held him, though. Just having Jack next to him, holding him had kept it at bay and he didn’t understand why. Yeah, lately his nightmares had been about Lisa and Canary Wharf but he'd had nightmares most of his life and simply having someone in his bed had not been a solution in the past. They had subsided when he was with Lisa but not right away and not when he was with anyone else. So, he really didn't understand why Jack, a virtual stranger, had been able to make him feel so safe.
Then there were the other dreams. The ones that had started after Jack had joined him, after he had felt the strength of Jack's arms around him. They weren't nightmares but they were disturbing anyway. Mostly because he didn't know where they were coming from. All coming in flashes again, just like the nightmare, and none about anything that had ever happened or that he had ever even thought about before now. It was all images of him and Jack. Flirting-a lot of flirting---but that wasn't unusual. That had happened, of course. There was kissing. There were flashes of him and Jack in bed…well, that thing that Jack called a bed. Images of them in the archives, the hothouse and other places around the Hub, the one constant that they were having sex in every image that played through his mind. He also had this undeniable feeling of loving Jack very deeply. And none of it made any sense. He wasn't gay. He didn't want Jack. Jack didn't want him, not really. Jack flirted because he was Jack and flirted with everyone. So where had these dreams come from?
He wasn't going to figure any of this out now. Jack had promised him answers to at least some of his questions, and he'd just have to add all of this to the list. With a sigh he carefully moved Jack's arm, not wanting to disturb his sleep, and slid out of the bed. He needed to shower and sort out breakfast. Jack had stayed her to care for him so the least he could do was provide a decent meal. He pulled out a pair of a jeans and jumper from the dresser and silently made his way from the bedroom to the shower.
***
Jack woke to the smell of coffee, and followed it the kitchen.
"Good morning," he said, leaning against the wall just inside the kitchen. "You should be resting, not making breakfast."
"It's the least I can do," Ianto responded, turning to set two plates on the table. "And I don't need rest. I need to be busy."
Jack considered arguing with him. Ianto did need to rest. Owen was very clear about that, but preparing one meal was hardly strenuous. So, he sat in the closest chair and smiled at Ianto. "Just not too much today, okay? If there are complications and we have to call Owen he's going to blame me."
Ianto smiled slightly. "I know. I can cook and do light housework though," he said. "And if we're going to be here for more than today we need to bring some food in."
Jack agreed and they finished their meal in silence. Jack offered to take care of the dishes when they finished. Ianto agreed and went to see what was on television while he waited for Jack to join him.
Jack quickly finished washing and drying the dishes and went to find Ianto. He'd promised him answers and he'd try to give them to him. He still wasn't sure how he could do that without saying too much but he'd figure it out. He sat down next to Ianto on the sofa and waited for Ianto speak, part of him hoping that Ianto had forgotten wanting an explanation over night. No such luck.
"You promised me you'd explain everything," Ianto finally said turning toward him.
"No, I promised to tell you as much as I could," Jack corrected. "And I will."
"Okay," Ianto agreed. "But I do have some questions for you when you're done. Some things that I saw in my dreams that I don't understand."
"Just listen to everything first, okay? Then I'll answer your questions if I can."
Jack was quiet for a few moments, trying to gather his own thoughts, now with the added worry of what Ianto's questions were. What he had seen in his dreams. Paradoxes weren't the only reason you had to avoid giving away information when you changed a timeline. In rare cases, people retained residual memories of the original timeline. Most of the time those people never thought anything of the memories because they usually appeared, as Ianto had said, in dreams that simply didn't make sense, but they could trigger full memories and that could cause problems.
Deciding the best place to start was the beginning, or as close to it as he could, Jack started talking. "I'm from the future," Jack said, then smiled slightly when Ianto rolled his eyes. "Right, you're the archivist, you figured that out long ago, I'd assume. I am from the 51st century, but what I mean is that I'm from just a few months into the future as well. I-something happened that made me realize how important you are to me and I decided that I could go back in time, just a few months, and change some things that would make you happier."
***
Ianto listened in silence as Jack explained. Most of what Jack was telling him didn't make a lot of sense but he wasn't surprised. Jack had told him that there were going to be a lot of things he just couldn't elaborate on because it could cause a paradox because he was interfering in his own timeline, and something about spoilers.
What Ianto did understand was that something horrible had happened to him at Canary Wharf and Jack had tried to fix it. He couldn't figure out what could possibly have happened that was worse than what did occur. He'd lost his job, his friends, and his girlfriend, all within hours. What could've been worse? He obviously hadn't died himself or Jack would never have met him. His mind briefly flashed to the images in his nightmare of Lisa half converted in the Hub, but he pushed it out of his mind.
"And I left with the Doctor, because I wanted him to fix me," Jack continued his story. "He couldn't do anything for me. But then we were captured by the Master and…none of this has happened for you yet but since you won't remember when it does I don't think it's a problem. For a year I was held and tortured; he found new and inventive ways to kill me all the time. He found ways to torture you to hurt me and it made me realize how much I need you in my life. How much you mean to me."
"Jack," Ianto interrupted. "We don't-I'm just your employee."
"Now, yes. Before we were more." Jack sighed. "Okay, I think I explained all I can , but you said you had questions?"
Ianto sat quietly for a moment trying to gather his thoughts and figure out what he wanted answered most. Jack had come back in time more than once in an attempt to make him happy. First to Canary Wharf, then a few months later to make sure he was hired, and now because of the cannibals. It did all imply more than a co-worker or employee relationship. So that added to his questions in some ways, but then he thought about his dreams last night.
"My nightmare," Ianto said slowly, still trying to find the right words. "I saw things, things that didn't happen. Couldn't have happened."
Jack nodded, but waited for him to continue.
"I saw Lisa. Alive, sort of. She was---like she was that day. The day she died. She was part Cyberman. But she was in the Hub. I saw Myfanwy attack her."
***
Jack listened to Ianto tell him about his nightmare. Ianto was obviously one of those people that retained some memories and he needed to be careful not to trigger them more fully. He listened to him talk about Annie's death, Suzie, Owen and the Weevil, and so many other things that this Ianto shouldn't know. Didn't know, really. They were all just flashes he'd seen while sleeping.
"I know none of it is real, especially about Lisa," Ianto said finally. "It couldn't be. She died in London. Then there was the other stuff. The dreams."
"Dreams?" Jack asked. Maybe he would have to retcon Ianto after all. Getting all these memories back could be dangerous for him.
"Dreams," Ianto repeated. "About you. Us. This morning I thought I was losing my mind. I'm-I'm straight. I don't think about you that way. You're my boss, that's all. But I guess after your story I know the answer to those dreams. Those things did happen, just not to me. Not this me, right?"
"Yes," Jack answered, getting up and began to pace the room. This wasn't good; Ianto was going to remember things he shouldn't. Jack couldn’t stop it, though. He wouldn't retcon him, though, not unless it looked like the memories would do more harm than good. Jack hoped he wouldn't remember the details of the stuff in his nightmare but he wasn't sure he wanted him to forget the dreams. "Sometimes when timelines are changed people will retain residual memories of the old timeline. They shouldn't. It's gone, it never happened but they remember anyway. It's rare, but not unheard of. You seem to be one of those people."
"So one day I'll remember everything that was changed? I'll have two sets of memories?"
"No, you shouldn’t," Jack assured him. "It's really not good for you to remember any of it. Most will probably just keep popping up in dreams."
"All right," Ianto said. "So I don't want to push the memories to return. But what about the nightmare? Was that all real too?"
"Some of it could've been. But again, none of it is real now so you should try to let it go if you can."
***
"What do I do with the information I do have now?" Ianto asked. "Just pretend I don't know that we were-that you and I-that, Jack, what were we exactly? Did we date? Was it just sex? Were we in love? I really don't know what I'm supposed to do with any of this."
"I don't want to tell you too much of what we had," Jack admitted. "None of it happened for you anyway. What we do now, what you do with those flashes of memory you have about us, is up to you."
"I don't know what I want to do," Ianto said quietly. "Two days ago I would've said I wasn't interested in you, that I like women. Now I'm confused about all of it. I need time to think."
"What happens is up to you, Ianto," Jack repeated. "Obviously, you know what I want. You know why I'm here but it's your decision."
Before Jack could say anymore or Ianto could respond Jack's wrist strap beeped loudly and Jack looked down at it and swore. "I have to go to the Hub. There's been Rift activity. You rest and I'll be back as quickly as I can."
Ianto watched Jack grab his coat and leave the flat. It was still early but he was exhausted. So much to think about. Jack's answers had just made him more confused, not less. Maybe Jack being gone for a few hours was a good thing. He could think. Figure out what he wanted to do. Figure out what he was going to do with all these memories that didn't belong there floating around his head.
tbc