My First Love Affair
When I was about seven years old, I had a crush on an older man. His name was Quentin, and he was 9, which when you are 7, is a major age difference.
I was ecstatic when he knocked on my door and asked me if I'd like to go fishing with him. Oh yes! Fishing with the man of my dreams! And so I grabbed my fishing rod and off we went to the creek at the bottom of the hill.
I chatted with him the whole time. He was the wittiest and most charming 9-year-old, ever. I was smitten. And so we started fishing, and we fished for hours, until the sun started to go down, and I felt a horrendous pressure building in my bladder.
But still I stayed, listening to his bon mots. I didn't want to step away and miss even a single moment with him.
And so it came to pass that I pissed myself. I let myself believe he wouldn't know. It was dark, so he couldn't see my shame spreading dark across the crotch of my pants. And I stayed downwind, so he wouldn't smell it, either.
But when I finally and reluctantly left to go home, my Mom took one look at me and started yelling. "What were you thinking?" she screamed.
"I like him! I didn't want to go away to pee!"
"Oh, I'm sure THAT impressed him," she said.
And I realized she was right. Since that fateful day, I have decided that no man is worth pissing myself for. I try to retain at least a little bit of dignity.
Now that I think about it, Quentin never did hang out with me again, after that. I guess I pissed him off.
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Link time.
Japanese man releases hundreds of worms in train: Because that's sexy.
Shewee: I could have used one of these, that fateful day (thanks, tailchaser).
Physicist Stephen Hawking accepts post at Waterloo institute: So maybe I'll bump into him, some day (thanks, elanya).