I just finished reading 'Hero Complexes' on FictionPress. Amazing story, if you haven't read it, go read it immediately after reading this!

The following line has to be the funniest thing I've read in, like, forever!:

Apparently his exact words when he saw the president's son were,

"I'M GOING TO RIP YOU APART, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU ( Read more... )

***
Hermione and Draco appeared as she said that, both looking tired.

“What took you guys so long?” Jake asked, staring at a large present with eager eyes.

“It’s seven o’clock on a Saturday morning, Jacob.”  Hermione said grumpily, rubbing her eyes.

Jake didn’t register his mother’s grumpy tone, and asked, “Can we please open presents now? It’s ( Read more... )