It's All About Teeth, Teeth, Teeth
I went to the dentist today. Due to first a long spell of no insurance, and then a spell of bad insurance that did not cover a dental visit (and the fact that when you have to work shitty retail due to the economy, $80 out of pocket is like a ten-hour shift at your shitty job), I hadn't been in a couple of years.
The good news is that I only have two cavities (...for the first time EVAR) and need fillings.
The bad news is that both wisdom teeth on the left side of my mouth are on their last legs. The top one broke in 2009 and has proceeded to decay gently since then because, despite my generally good dental hygiene and I am not just bragging, the hygienist said it too, most people have difficulty reaching that far back in their mouths even with a toothbrush and I am no exception. The bottom one is apparently completely hollow and could break at any time.
On the one hand, I really don't want my real teeth catching the decay and moldering away too, which is one of the dangers if they sit too long next to the tainted wisdom teeth. I am not a goddamn Tri-State cracker and I refuse to have teeth like one.
On the other hand, I am irrationally attached to my wisdom teeth because they're mine. MIIIIIIIINE. MY TEETH. Also, when I fulfill my evolutionary duty by dispatching my old, weak father with a bite to the jugular, my toothy maw and the jagged edge of the upper wisdom tooth will ensure that the wound becomes infected in the event I am unable to sever the vein completely. Also also, I really do not want my wisdom teeth removed. The only reason I am even willing to entertain this shit is because the potential consequences of not having them out are even worse.
So, because I cope with things that scare the piss out of me by becoming progressively more autocratic and control-freaky, four things I will not budge on.
1.) Only the teeth that are actually decayed are to be removed. The good wisdom teeth, on the right side of my mouth, are to remain in situ until or unless it becomes necessary to remove them. They do not appear to show signs of decay.
2.) General anaesthesia is not to be used. Why? Because, first off, I am the goddamn patient and I said it was not to be used or I will take my sweet, sweet teeth money elsewhere to someone who will only use local anaesthesia, since the technology for that exists and is in widespread use and I don't care how safe you tell me that general shit is. Second, and probably more likely to convince an oral surgeon, I've checked my insurance and they will not pay for it unless it is medically necessary.
3.) The only person qualified to decide whether I am in pain, how much pain I am in, and what should be done about it is me. In other words, you can write me a prescription for painkillers if it assuages your conscience, Dr Oral Surgeon, but it's not like I'm going to fill it or anything because I'm going to have to be in some serious agony before I'll even think about maybe using the over-the-counter shit. I am ALLOWED to make snide remarks about real men toughing it out because I DO tough it out.
Also, I am not happy about the antibiotics but I will allow those because infected sutures are not relevant to my interests.
4.) I want to keep my teeth. Even if they can't stay in my skull, I want to keep them. I'll turn them into jewelry or something awesome someday. :D
Also! I swung by Panera tonight and ran into Joy, whom I haven't seen in yonks, so we had a grand old time catching up and yapping. That was quite nice.
Moar to follow.
The good news is that I only have two cavities (...for the first time EVAR) and need fillings.
The bad news is that both wisdom teeth on the left side of my mouth are on their last legs. The top one broke in 2009 and has proceeded to decay gently since then because, despite my generally good dental hygiene and I am not just bragging, the hygienist said it too, most people have difficulty reaching that far back in their mouths even with a toothbrush and I am no exception. The bottom one is apparently completely hollow and could break at any time.
On the one hand, I really don't want my real teeth catching the decay and moldering away too, which is one of the dangers if they sit too long next to the tainted wisdom teeth. I am not a goddamn Tri-State cracker and I refuse to have teeth like one.
On the other hand, I am irrationally attached to my wisdom teeth because they're mine. MIIIIIIIINE. MY TEETH. Also, when I fulfill my evolutionary duty by dispatching my old, weak father with a bite to the jugular, my toothy maw and the jagged edge of the upper wisdom tooth will ensure that the wound becomes infected in the event I am unable to sever the vein completely. Also also, I really do not want my wisdom teeth removed. The only reason I am even willing to entertain this shit is because the potential consequences of not having them out are even worse.
So, because I cope with things that scare the piss out of me by becoming progressively more autocratic and control-freaky, four things I will not budge on.
1.) Only the teeth that are actually decayed are to be removed. The good wisdom teeth, on the right side of my mouth, are to remain in situ until or unless it becomes necessary to remove them. They do not appear to show signs of decay.
2.) General anaesthesia is not to be used. Why? Because, first off, I am the goddamn patient and I said it was not to be used or I will take my sweet, sweet teeth money elsewhere to someone who will only use local anaesthesia, since the technology for that exists and is in widespread use and I don't care how safe you tell me that general shit is. Second, and probably more likely to convince an oral surgeon, I've checked my insurance and they will not pay for it unless it is medically necessary.
3.) The only person qualified to decide whether I am in pain, how much pain I am in, and what should be done about it is me. In other words, you can write me a prescription for painkillers if it assuages your conscience, Dr Oral Surgeon, but it's not like I'm going to fill it or anything because I'm going to have to be in some serious agony before I'll even think about maybe using the over-the-counter shit. I am ALLOWED to make snide remarks about real men toughing it out because I DO tough it out.
Also, I am not happy about the antibiotics but I will allow those because infected sutures are not relevant to my interests.
4.) I want to keep my teeth. Even if they can't stay in my skull, I want to keep them. I'll turn them into jewelry or something awesome someday. :D
Also! I swung by Panera tonight and ran into Joy, whom I haven't seen in yonks, so we had a grand old time catching up and yapping. That was quite nice.
Moar to follow.