Dealing with Anger
In any new relationship I have to see how my SO deals with anger, with frustration, with things not going right. I have to know that I can deal with how they deal with their feelings. So many times in the past would trigger me and I just couldn't deal with it.
Saturday night Jon was angry because of work, with the people there and the way they were handling an issue. I knew he was angry before he came home to me. We'd talked when he'd called me to vent. While he was venting I never once felt that he was angry with 'me'. It was always clear he was upset with the situation.
When he got home he didn't ignore me or spread his anger around. He gave me hugs and kisses. He snuggled with me for a little bit before going to kill things on the computer. While he was on the computer he'd still pause to tell me "love you" or to blow a kiss. I never felt ignored or shut out. I never felt misdirected anger.
My back began acting up but I didn't say anything because I wanted to give him his space. I am obviously transparent to him though since he noticed and asked. I shrugged and said my back was bothering me. He finished the battle he was in and turned the game off. He came over and asked if he could help, which led to a massage that worked a good portion of it out.
Even when he was angry and wrapped up in his own problems ... he thought of me. He paid enough attention to me to see that I was hurting. I didn't stop existing just because the computer was on.
I can handle his anger, with no fear. That in and of itself is a relief. And all of it makes me love him more.
Saturday night Jon was angry because of work, with the people there and the way they were handling an issue. I knew he was angry before he came home to me. We'd talked when he'd called me to vent. While he was venting I never once felt that he was angry with 'me'. It was always clear he was upset with the situation.
When he got home he didn't ignore me or spread his anger around. He gave me hugs and kisses. He snuggled with me for a little bit before going to kill things on the computer. While he was on the computer he'd still pause to tell me "love you" or to blow a kiss. I never felt ignored or shut out. I never felt misdirected anger.
My back began acting up but I didn't say anything because I wanted to give him his space. I am obviously transparent to him though since he noticed and asked. I shrugged and said my back was bothering me. He finished the battle he was in and turned the game off. He came over and asked if he could help, which led to a massage that worked a good portion of it out.
Even when he was angry and wrapped up in his own problems ... he thought of me. He paid enough attention to me to see that I was hurting. I didn't stop existing just because the computer was on.
I can handle his anger, with no fear. That in and of itself is a relief. And all of it makes me love him more.