Getting Whiplash
I spend far too much time confused.
Lynn was incredibly nice and didn't make a fuss over my paying for a new tire for Jon's car yesterday. Then when my car started throwing a fit he was happy to pay for 3 new tires for me. Given that 1 was separated internally and I have a trip to New Orleans scheduled this coming week I'm very grateful. I made sure to say thank you and tell him how much I appreciated it. I really do, being stranded on the side of the road is not my idea of a good time.
We were joking and something he said prodded a "fuck you" from me. He wasted no time in replying with a "Hell no" and "That's Jon's problem now". I tried to laugh it off, "You never had a problem with it before". He glared at me for a brief second, "Well, you work with what you have".
I should have been able to ignore it or come back with some glib retort. Hormones have the best of me this week though and I was gutted.
Later in Target I'm being silly and having fun. I'm being me, the me that Jon encourages. Lynn looks at me with annoyance and asks "How does Jon respond when you act like that?" "He loves me and loves that I'm silly." "Uh huh .. tell him there's a no return policy." Now I'm hurt and questioning everything I do because what if he's right and Jon gets tired of 'me'. I tell Jon about the no return comment and he replies with a silly joke about store credit, not knowing that Lynn's been pushing buttons to hurt me. I don't respond instantly like I normally do because it hurt so he follows up with a "love you". I tell him that it's bad timing and that his comment hurt, and why. He instantly apologizes and says he'll make it up to me.
Lynn vacillates between being helpful and being hurtful the rest of the night. He runs to the store to get rice for my lunches and then tells me I don't know how to cut fabric to fit over a weapon for the group. He cuts up the chicken for my lunches and then implies I don't know how to take care of Nox Puppy. I feel like I'm constantly on egg shells.
We heard about a friend going to the hospital, possible heart attack. The friend's wife is in another country and frantic for somebody to be at the hospital to keep her in the loop. Lynn offers to go. So now I have the apartment to myself ... and I very strongly consider just packing all that will fit into my car to take to Jon's after practice this afternoon.
We're looking at earliest I could possibly move would be 2 months. Though I'm spending 4-5 nights a week over there now. Even when not doing something together it's calm. He doesn't ignore me, I don't feel isolated, rather I'm at ease and we can do our own thing with occasional words of affection.
I'm just incredibly grateful that Jon understands when I'm emotional because of the crap Lynn pulls.
Lynn was incredibly nice and didn't make a fuss over my paying for a new tire for Jon's car yesterday. Then when my car started throwing a fit he was happy to pay for 3 new tires for me. Given that 1 was separated internally and I have a trip to New Orleans scheduled this coming week I'm very grateful. I made sure to say thank you and tell him how much I appreciated it. I really do, being stranded on the side of the road is not my idea of a good time.
We were joking and something he said prodded a "fuck you" from me. He wasted no time in replying with a "Hell no" and "That's Jon's problem now". I tried to laugh it off, "You never had a problem with it before". He glared at me for a brief second, "Well, you work with what you have".
I should have been able to ignore it or come back with some glib retort. Hormones have the best of me this week though and I was gutted.
Later in Target I'm being silly and having fun. I'm being me, the me that Jon encourages. Lynn looks at me with annoyance and asks "How does Jon respond when you act like that?" "He loves me and loves that I'm silly." "Uh huh .. tell him there's a no return policy." Now I'm hurt and questioning everything I do because what if he's right and Jon gets tired of 'me'. I tell Jon about the no return comment and he replies with a silly joke about store credit, not knowing that Lynn's been pushing buttons to hurt me. I don't respond instantly like I normally do because it hurt so he follows up with a "love you". I tell him that it's bad timing and that his comment hurt, and why. He instantly apologizes and says he'll make it up to me.
Lynn vacillates between being helpful and being hurtful the rest of the night. He runs to the store to get rice for my lunches and then tells me I don't know how to cut fabric to fit over a weapon for the group. He cuts up the chicken for my lunches and then implies I don't know how to take care of Nox Puppy. I feel like I'm constantly on egg shells.
We heard about a friend going to the hospital, possible heart attack. The friend's wife is in another country and frantic for somebody to be at the hospital to keep her in the loop. Lynn offers to go. So now I have the apartment to myself ... and I very strongly consider just packing all that will fit into my car to take to Jon's after practice this afternoon.
We're looking at earliest I could possibly move would be 2 months. Though I'm spending 4-5 nights a week over there now. Even when not doing something together it's calm. He doesn't ignore me, I don't feel isolated, rather I'm at ease and we can do our own thing with occasional words of affection.
I'm just incredibly grateful that Jon understands when I'm emotional because of the crap Lynn pulls.