(no subject)
She was right-when the holidays come, i feel pain. All around, suffocating my being. Why am i getting so bad? My body is keeping me from enjoying the happiness of my life.
I think my doctor is a pill-head, all the better for me!
Well, my childhood is over. All the games i played as a child, all the laughter that should not be shared by siblings will forever surround my sleep...and wake. All the times i drove around with a joint in one hand a cigarete in the other, and a road i know by heart layed out in front of me...has passed before i had time to choke down my toxic summers.
This is only a sad passing, briefly for a moment i will recall its splender, while yet another series of events shapes a new 'section' of time. I branded myself for all the wrong reasons. Now it symbolizes morality at a time when i had none, and how great it felt. I am free of this...and that feels great too. The grief is that it never seems like these times will change. People will live as long as they can, but i wonder what impressions they have. Like, my family....their worth everyone takes for granted. I am more scared about what they will think of me, and how they will feel when i leave, because i want every new section of my life to be accepted with open arms. As i know from my life, things are not as easy as they seem....That is my weakest downfall however. If i know someone i love is ashamed or upset by me...I would almost rather be...dead, i think.
Okay. I will enjoy these holidays all the same, and i will accept change the same way i always have, with open arms, the same way i want to be accepted. I want to give change a warm welcome-its only courteous.
I think my doctor is a pill-head, all the better for me!
Well, my childhood is over. All the games i played as a child, all the laughter that should not be shared by siblings will forever surround my sleep...and wake. All the times i drove around with a joint in one hand a cigarete in the other, and a road i know by heart layed out in front of me...has passed before i had time to choke down my toxic summers.
This is only a sad passing, briefly for a moment i will recall its splender, while yet another series of events shapes a new 'section' of time. I branded myself for all the wrong reasons. Now it symbolizes morality at a time when i had none, and how great it felt. I am free of this...and that feels great too. The grief is that it never seems like these times will change. People will live as long as they can, but i wonder what impressions they have. Like, my family....their worth everyone takes for granted. I am more scared about what they will think of me, and how they will feel when i leave, because i want every new section of my life to be accepted with open arms. As i know from my life, things are not as easy as they seem....That is my weakest downfall however. If i know someone i love is ashamed or upset by me...I would almost rather be...dead, i think.
Okay. I will enjoy these holidays all the same, and i will accept change the same way i always have, with open arms, the same way i want to be accepted. I want to give change a warm welcome-its only courteous.