Nice guys tend to finish last when they are walking on broken glass...
I know this is probably the last thing y'all want to read about, but I must vent again regarding my love life...if you are sick of it already, this is your warning to stop reading and do something pleasant...if you read it anyway, I can't be held responsible for any bills to get the angst out of your clothes/minds.
So, when we last left the story, Dan was trying to help Marcus get out of jail, and was trying to maintain a deep yet not relationship with me. It was tearing me up, because I want to be with Dan, but he was keeping me at a distance, since he wants to "see where things go" with Marcus. I get that, so I was trying my best to behave and let things go.
Well, a funny thing happened - Marcus ended up getting extridicted to Florida for the charge against him. Dan was very upset, as anyone would be in that circumstance. I was doing the best friend thing, trying to keep his spirits up and stuff. Then, one night, I invited Dan to dinner at my place. He came, we had a nice dinner with my mom, and we went back to my room to hang out and talk. We talked for a while, then something changed...and the next thing I knew, we were having sex. Just like we used to. It felt great...yet odd...and he stayed the night, nestled in my arms. We had another night like that shortly after that, and again, it felt great, yet strange somehow again. He began to say 'I love you' to me, and it felt like it was coming from some place deeper within....then, the fun began.
Once he was able to, Dan found out all he could about bail bonds and tried to get one signed to get Marcus out of jail, and back here to Vegas. The funny ( maybe ironic, read further and let me know) thing is that Dan didn't have enough time on his current job to sign the bond by himself, so he needed a co-signer, and the only person he could ask was me. When he asked me, I was hesitant...but I still said yes. I don't know what you'd call a decision like that...but I made it anyway. A few days later, Marcus was back here in town, and Dan was back to pursuing what he and Marcus had, and whatever we had went back to a "wait til what happens with Marcus happens" mode again. It hurt all over again, a lot...but things were slightly different. Dan is still saying 'I love you' more and with more potency than before (then again, maybe I am just making that part up, or I am deluding myself...). But wait, there's still more...and it gets better yet.
I'm not sure if it was mentioned before, but Dan is living with his mom to help her out right now, like I am doing for mine. Well, recently, a cousin of Dan's (let's call him Chris) moved back in with them. Chris and Dan get along like oil and water...and the oil's on fire. Chris is a recovering addict, and has badly hurt Dan's mom when he last lived with them, driving her into a deep depression for a while. He's suuposedly trying to get his life back together now, and is here under his aunt's watchful eye to do that. The problem is that Chris is very manipulative...he likes to play people off of each other just for entertainment value. This leads to Saturday night...
Saturday, Dan was working, and Marcus was doing some things to find and move into a place of his own with a friend of his in town. There's a lot that went down, but the quick and dirty is that Chris tried to start a huge fight between Dan and his mom over Marcus. Dan was so infuriated that he decided that he couldn't live under the same roof as Chris...and so he moved out. Again, funny (and potentially ironic) thing is that he had only one place he could move...my place. He's been living in my spare bedroom since Sunday night...and it's simultaneously the best and most painful thing in my life. We talked again about any potential for there to be an us...he said that he let Marcus know that he still cares for me a lot, so there is that...but, like tonight, he's going to spend the night at Marcus's new place...and that thought makes me feel like my torso has been hollowed out and filled with solid heartache....
I have asked advice from the previously mentioned sources from the last post....heard nothing back as yet...anywho, thanks for listening, those who are still slogging through this...keep your fingers crossed for me...or whatever else you can do to help me retain my sanity and get a lucky break or something.
Until later.
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