And All Things Come And Gone
So I made my bid for Gateway Opinion Editor. You might say I wanted the job a little bit.
So after some problems printing my portfolio, I'm kicking ass. Out of around 10 applicants, only 3 of us got to take the editor test and interview(Patrick got cut, sadly). Then I came against the editor's test, and I made that thing my bitch.
What I did not expect was the Interview
The Interview of WTF
Normally in interviews, I find that it goes something like this
1. First you give some spiel, and some simple questions are shot out at you about your cover letter and the resume. Usually they are simple things and clairifications about stuff they weren't sure about.
2. Then comes the tougher questions concerning the resume/cover letter, like what does the BAKA club do and how does it apply to the position you are applying for.
3. After these questions, comes things directly relating to your vision and what you think the job entails. This is where you bullshit like crazy and thank your lucky stars you memorized the company's mandate.
4. Finally comes 1 or 2 "situational" questions, usually something like "if a terrorist was holding the building hostage and you had to choose between killing your best friend or the head of the company, who would you choose and why?!"
5. And then comes some stuff like "would you like to add anything?" and a good luck.
Every interview I've had in my life has had this format. CAPS trains people based on this format. Hell this seems to be the default format for hiring in the world. This is not the Gateway's format.
The Gateway Interview
Stage I: Give your 5 minute spiel on your vision.
No questions asked about it at all. Wierd, but ok. I think I did ok on it.
Stage II: Total Mind Fucking
Gateway: So Mr.Vargas, what would you consider as "too offensive" to be in the Comic Section
Victor: What?! We created Space Moose. Half of the comics we use are pornography?!
Erm, something that would have people burn the office down.
Gateway: Ok, but can you be specific. Like what is the line that cannot be crossed?
Victor: Why are they pressing this question? We have the most offensive comic section on the planet, possibly the galaxy. You have to work hard to find stuff on the internet that offensive.
Well, something extraordinarily racist or anti-religious.
Gateway: I see...
Victor: Good, maybe that will shut them up.
Gateway: But...
Victor: FUCK
Gateway: can you give an example of a comic that ran that was too offensive?
Victor: So did someone forget to tell me we ran a comic that was so offensive it scarred the editors? I haven't seen anything that horrible, in fact this year we have been really tame compared to previous ones. Whats going on here, this is the Gateway! I should be able to put a photograph of my but on the comic page and pass it off as a comic without it being out of the ordinary!
None that I can think off...
Ok hopefully that was just a trick question...
Gateway: So what would you have as the ratio of funny opinion articles to serious ones.
Victor: Please kill me now
Stage III: What if...
Gateway: Imagine if you had not comics for the comic section, what would you do?
Victor: Pull out MS Paint.
Gateway: But how would you get more comics?
Victor: Make a comic that had panels going "Wow, I could have my own comic here."
Gateway: What if you didn't have enough Opinion Articles?
Victor: Write an editorial.
Gateway: On what?
Victor: Probably the student's union.
Gateway: How about not enough letters in the letter section?
Victor: Maybe reuse old letters, put a staff add in.
Gateway: What if you didn't have enough writers?
Victor: Every ASAPA interview question I gave has come back to haunt me. Dam karma.
Stage IV: Favorite?
Gateway: Who is your favorite opinion writer?
Victor: Preston Manning in the Globe and Mail, he always writes something interesting.
Gateway: How about your favorite Gateway issue?
Victor: I never stopped to think if a single issue was really good as a whole... fuck. Um that joke issue we ran about Time
Gateway: Non-joke issue?
Victor: Ok, pick one, any one... um how about that one we ran after reading week. You know with the cool pictures and the... cancer story.
Gateway: ... I see.
Stage V: Enter the Thief of Hope
Gateway:
So what would your motto be?
You scored a suprisingly low score on the purity test, how would you change that?
What would volunteers take from working with you?
Can you balance school with the Gateway?
Do you have enough time during the summer?
Victor: ... yes.
Gateway: Thanks for the interview!
Victor: No problem. Well that went well.
So after a long diliberation, the Gateway decided to hire the other guy over me. That sucks... but I'll live... at least I got more interview experience.
So after some problems printing my portfolio, I'm kicking ass. Out of around 10 applicants, only 3 of us got to take the editor test and interview(Patrick got cut, sadly). Then I came against the editor's test, and I made that thing my bitch.
What I did not expect was the Interview
The Interview of WTF
Normally in interviews, I find that it goes something like this
1. First you give some spiel, and some simple questions are shot out at you about your cover letter and the resume. Usually they are simple things and clairifications about stuff they weren't sure about.
2. Then comes the tougher questions concerning the resume/cover letter, like what does the BAKA club do and how does it apply to the position you are applying for.
3. After these questions, comes things directly relating to your vision and what you think the job entails. This is where you bullshit like crazy and thank your lucky stars you memorized the company's mandate.
4. Finally comes 1 or 2 "situational" questions, usually something like "if a terrorist was holding the building hostage and you had to choose between killing your best friend or the head of the company, who would you choose and why?!"
5. And then comes some stuff like "would you like to add anything?" and a good luck.
Every interview I've had in my life has had this format. CAPS trains people based on this format. Hell this seems to be the default format for hiring in the world. This is not the Gateway's format.
The Gateway Interview
Stage I: Give your 5 minute spiel on your vision.
No questions asked about it at all. Wierd, but ok. I think I did ok on it.
Stage II: Total Mind Fucking
Gateway: So Mr.Vargas, what would you consider as "too offensive" to be in the Comic Section
Victor: What?! We created Space Moose. Half of the comics we use are pornography?!
Erm, something that would have people burn the office down.
Gateway: Ok, but can you be specific. Like what is the line that cannot be crossed?
Victor: Why are they pressing this question? We have the most offensive comic section on the planet, possibly the galaxy. You have to work hard to find stuff on the internet that offensive.
Well, something extraordinarily racist or anti-religious.
Gateway: I see...
Victor: Good, maybe that will shut them up.
Gateway: But...
Victor: FUCK
Gateway: can you give an example of a comic that ran that was too offensive?
Victor: So did someone forget to tell me we ran a comic that was so offensive it scarred the editors? I haven't seen anything that horrible, in fact this year we have been really tame compared to previous ones. Whats going on here, this is the Gateway! I should be able to put a photograph of my but on the comic page and pass it off as a comic without it being out of the ordinary!
None that I can think off...
Ok hopefully that was just a trick question...
Gateway: So what would you have as the ratio of funny opinion articles to serious ones.
Victor: Please kill me now
Stage III: What if...
Gateway: Imagine if you had not comics for the comic section, what would you do?
Victor: Pull out MS Paint.
Gateway: But how would you get more comics?
Victor: Make a comic that had panels going "Wow, I could have my own comic here."
Gateway: What if you didn't have enough Opinion Articles?
Victor: Write an editorial.
Gateway: On what?
Victor: Probably the student's union.
Gateway: How about not enough letters in the letter section?
Victor: Maybe reuse old letters, put a staff add in.
Gateway: What if you didn't have enough writers?
Victor: Every ASAPA interview question I gave has come back to haunt me. Dam karma.
Stage IV: Favorite?
Gateway: Who is your favorite opinion writer?
Victor: Preston Manning in the Globe and Mail, he always writes something interesting.
Gateway: How about your favorite Gateway issue?
Victor: I never stopped to think if a single issue was really good as a whole... fuck. Um that joke issue we ran about Time
Gateway: Non-joke issue?
Victor: Ok, pick one, any one... um how about that one we ran after reading week. You know with the cool pictures and the... cancer story.
Gateway: ... I see.
Stage V: Enter the Thief of Hope
Gateway:
So what would your motto be?
You scored a suprisingly low score on the purity test, how would you change that?
What would volunteers take from working with you?
Can you balance school with the Gateway?
Do you have enough time during the summer?
Victor: ... yes.
Gateway: Thanks for the interview!
Victor: No problem. Well that went well.
So after a long diliberation, the Gateway decided to hire the other guy over me. That sucks... but I'll live... at least I got more interview experience.