21 Hours and 17 Minutes into 2005
I know, out there, many people are just about ready to shoot their darts my way for not updating. Both my blog and journal have been on a semi-hiatus; noone was forewarned. It was not that I intended to leave you hanging for the past month on the developments of my life, nor was it that I had a case of writer's block. I have been writing a fair bit lately..at Summer School and even more after. I have just been preoccupied with life's pace post-SPM, and also in thought and reflection.
To sum the Summer School up, no number of words would be sufficient. Each time my mind flashes back to Melbourne, a million memories flood my mind. There were so many things about CTSS that are with me now, to take, to cherish and to carry on with me for years. Memories that will not leave me, moments that are so vivid, so surreal. When my eyes flutter shut, even for a fraction of a second, the very best moments, albeit sometimes the most random, replay before me..and when I reach out and try to feel them..they disappear into dust. It feels like I am being played like a puppet..I am being challenged to leave CTSS behind and move on. But no, everything clings to me like elephant glue..nothing will leave me. As life moves on, I will too, only with a new approach, because the fortnight in Melbourne changed me. I met so many amazing people, attended classes I had never heard of previously (Dramatic Narratives, Cultural Narratives, International Relations, Global Issues, one lesson of Economics [and no more ever!], and five of Creative Writing), went on excursions I might have gone on if I were on holiday (think Great Ocean Road, where we bumped into Puan Martita again at lunchtime after our coincidental meeting on the plane), did the unthinkable "Giant Swing" at Ace-Hi, trotted and cantered on Saxon, attempted archery (to quote Heidi, "with the real stuff"), failed miserably at rock climbing despite initially oozing with confidence, got past Trivia-Mystery-Disco Nights..so many occurences in just two weeks. I learnt how to do my laundry the right way (yes, laugh!), survive on my own in a dorm room ("We're in Jeopardy."), stayed up past midnight every night to talk and feast on chips, Tim Tams and such..be accountable for each of my actions. Who can forget the vast Bulpadock, the green grass that carpeted it..and the craziest fun that we had on it? Lying down on the grass was the sweetest experience, especially in the daytime after the shopping trip and on the last night night with Nitya and Pooja! The amazing mentors- Maleik, Jeffrey, Mmilidzi, Jessie, JK, Lerato, Belinda- I cannot thank them enough for their advice, listening ear, helping hand, supportive and inspiring words and the spunk and spontaneity that most radiated. The treatment we got, the respect any other college student would receive. The friends- Ida and Andrea especially- for the friendship we strengthened. Five years of occasional "hi" and "bye" evolved into a tightly bonded trio, ever ready to look out for and trust in each other.
I will never forget bouncing around and getting dizzy just waltzing across the Hogwarts-like Dining Hall on Bush Dance Night..it was an amazing experience, just letting loose and throwing all your worries away, swirling around as time froze. JK's "read between the lines" and Najla's counterback that slapped him on the face. Trying to find my groove on the dance floor on Disco Night..and fire engines rushing through the Trinity Gates as the smoke machine had triggered the fire alarm- who would've imagined such a thing happening? Oh and jumping on the wrong tram to the Melbourne Theatre of Arts with Sunny and Najla..without any tram tickets..and getting Lerato worried sick and later catching Olympic Champion Cathy Freeman in the flesh. Watching Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason at the cinema at Highpoint before everyone else back home. Fighting with Jeffrey over nothing, armed with a fork and knife respectively..and having it filmed? Tom going "Bowrrrr" and Chris' witty ways..hanging out with Ida, Josh and Nigel at the Bulpadock in the cold nights, only to bump into Inspector Mmilidzi and Mr Tom? Autographing numerous books for new found friends. Me getting all slurred up on the phone, in the toilet..sleeping after 12 every single night. Zheng Xi making sure I went to sleep and washed my face on some of the latest nights. Our declaration of love to Jessie at Lygon's Borders. Cereal breakfasts, meetings at the JCR, classes, weird sandwiches for lunch, good pasta dinners and very unauthentic "restaurant" Vietnamese food. My tears at the Ace-Hi logs, and again at the Bull at Trinity College..my gratitude to those who gave me reassuring words, hugs, hand squeezes. Watching people try to get Vincent to not smile for a while. Mmilidzi going "G-Unit" with that tone, that smug look of gratitude and pride on his face after Lil' C splashed the cash to get him a pair of school-shoe-resembling Reeboks..and how every other mentor got green-eyed after that! Combing through the shops in Melbourne City on the hottest December day..Saturday the 18th. Najla and I joining Jeff and his mentor group for a shopping trip, Gavin "losing" his AUD$200 G-Star pants, Jeff himself getting hit on by the gay salesman (on our request) and leaving his Quiksilver jumper behind in his haste to run away! The havoc that clouded my room at Jeopardy 215 each time there was a formal- hair straightening, "Gimme some foundation..okay now blusher?? Blusher!!", "Do I look okay?"- with easily 10 girls having walked in and out. Mmilidzi's poses for the camera and the blur of excitement at the pre-dinners and Welcome and Valedictory Dinners. Lunch at the Union House with Rohan and Andrea. Me smiling at the surveillance camera in the Clarke's Buliding Computer Room at 3am. Who remembers me falling asleep during the lecture at the Medical faculty? When the speaker said they were going to conduct a study on why students fall asleep on their friend's shoulders during lectures? Maleik's classic "Allah will protect me.." and Zheng Xi's "Stop running, long legs (Doug)!" on Mystery Night, in our attempt to stop Jeff from running across the Dining Hall stage screaming "My Cojack!" (who would've guessed it was Vivien?). Walking to Victoria Market with our hands hooked onto each other's (Nigel and Vish). Then who doesn't recall our valedictorian Mitchell (who reduced so many of the girls to tears when he showed off his Josh Groban voice after the speech) jumping around in his group's interpretation of "A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss"? ..so many memories.
And on December 18th 2004..our last night: "The Last Salsa" as I choose to call it. Myself, Jeffrey, Ida and Vishnu walked Joshua and Nigel out to the tram stop. The stars were out, elbows occassionally hooked together for the last time, we were talking, sometimes serious..sometimes not so..but then their tram came..and the guys ran to catch it. Ida called for one last salsa..and Jeff, Ida, Vish and I could only watch as Nigel salsa-ed on the midnight tram an it moved away into the darkness, disappearing into a tiny speck, away from Trinity. "Jessalsa.."
I'll never forget the feeling of being hustled into the van. The van that tore me away from the hugs, Jeffrey's tears that fell free that Sunday morning, the helpless faces who simply could not follow us to the airport to send us off..
Nor will I ever forget the feeling of regret and denial as I unhooked my swipey and room key from the Trinity College lanyard (remember the debate with Jessie about advertising during the group discussion/ presentation?) and handed it back to JK, the accomodations guy from Sibu, East Malaysia, who volunteered to bring our 20-kilogramme luggages to our rooms on the first night (where dinner was not provided, on or off the plane due to the time difference and daylight saving..just our luck).
As our driver pulled away through the majestic Trinity gates, away from the Malory Tower-like building I had come to love, my home away from home, the setting for a fortnight of forged friendships set to last a lifetime..we shed tear after tear, the six of us, comforting each other as the faces of the remaining students, mentors and Mr Tom became a blur..and eventually it was all wiped out from view. It was painful enough sending person after person off, beginning with the Bowen kids..and our last being valedictorian Mitch..and as the force grew smaller..it was even more difficult it was to part and leave our little army, our pack of friends. We may have been forced to part in sight, but each person I became acquainted to will always be close to heart. Nobody can take those memories away from me..and these will be with me to pride wherever life chooses to lead me.
Well, Maleik did get his G-Units for Christmas (or did he not?), with much love from his mentor family. JK, you got "that" text message in the end..the one Maleik deemed "incestious" during the painful rounds of Heart Attack in the JCR. I only started to get to know some people better over the Internet post-CTSS, that's one tiny regret I have. Because as Mitch said, "If we were back at Trinity, we'd be able to have these conversations face to face..on the Bulpadock.."
I long to be at the Bulpadock with the hammer of love and hugs. That's bound to stick as my MSN nickname for awhile.
Everyone was friend at Trinity. There was no segregation, pretty much, and that makes it all beautiful. To quote Mmilidzi, "I'm glad you guys loved each other unlike at previous summer schools.." Indeed, we at CTSS '04 were different. We seized each day as if it were the last, we bonded in such special ways and that's how we will have so many memories and lessons to take with us for months, years, decades and centuries to come. No matter how long we had stayed, there would always have been a need for goodbye. The longer the stay, the more painful the goodbye. Despite this contradicting my previous remarks to some, I'll reaffirm that the two week duration was most ideal for us to mingle and learn, not only within the classroom, but from each other, from places we visited and the things we did (and were forced to do). Minus the tiny dark specks known as conflicts, tiffs, emotional rollercoasters, mishaps and unavoidable circumstances..it neared perfection on a scale from one to nine. Without us knowing, these black imprints that one may choose to delete from memory actually made Summer School a more rounded encounter for us all, for it was the pedestal to learning up humanitarian values- compromise and the ability to work things out..lessons of that sort.
I spent the most beautiful Christmas Eve at the Singapore CTSS Reunion. The ambience was perfect. As everyone gathered at the long white couch nearing dinnertime, after the hug fests had subsided, it felt like the JCR all over again. 15 of us reunited..13 Singaporeans, 1 from Brunei and me, from Malaysia. As we talked, 2Strong spun on the CD player at the ideal volume, setting the perfect Trinity Summer School feel to the Christmas Eve gathering. It was good to see Joy, Vishnu and Rrrrrrrrimjhim and the rest of the gang just as we were. A week after we said our first goodbyes, we were at Eldric's place, 7000 miles away from Trinity..One week passed and nothing had changed. We're still so tightly bonded, just as at Trinity. The Singaporean reunion was a reminder that things will remain beautiful for a long time to come..for us friends, acquaintances..all around this globe. Dinner was turkey, mashed potato, ham, pasta and chicken wings..and it was yummy, just for the record! Look Eldric up if ever you're in Singapore because his mum can really cook- anyone can testify to that!
2004 was complete and whole because of Summer School. And I'm sure, with my imminent college days (which hopefully will be sponsored), 2005 holds a lot more for me.
Life is just beginning to take shape. I think.
To sum the Summer School up, no number of words would be sufficient. Each time my mind flashes back to Melbourne, a million memories flood my mind. There were so many things about CTSS that are with me now, to take, to cherish and to carry on with me for years. Memories that will not leave me, moments that are so vivid, so surreal. When my eyes flutter shut, even for a fraction of a second, the very best moments, albeit sometimes the most random, replay before me..and when I reach out and try to feel them..they disappear into dust. It feels like I am being played like a puppet..I am being challenged to leave CTSS behind and move on. But no, everything clings to me like elephant glue..nothing will leave me. As life moves on, I will too, only with a new approach, because the fortnight in Melbourne changed me. I met so many amazing people, attended classes I had never heard of previously (Dramatic Narratives, Cultural Narratives, International Relations, Global Issues, one lesson of Economics [and no more ever!], and five of Creative Writing), went on excursions I might have gone on if I were on holiday (think Great Ocean Road, where we bumped into Puan Martita again at lunchtime after our coincidental meeting on the plane), did the unthinkable "Giant Swing" at Ace-Hi, trotted and cantered on Saxon, attempted archery (to quote Heidi, "with the real stuff"), failed miserably at rock climbing despite initially oozing with confidence, got past Trivia-Mystery-Disco Nights..so many occurences in just two weeks. I learnt how to do my laundry the right way (yes, laugh!), survive on my own in a dorm room ("We're in Jeopardy."), stayed up past midnight every night to talk and feast on chips, Tim Tams and such..be accountable for each of my actions. Who can forget the vast Bulpadock, the green grass that carpeted it..and the craziest fun that we had on it? Lying down on the grass was the sweetest experience, especially in the daytime after the shopping trip and on the last night night with Nitya and Pooja! The amazing mentors- Maleik, Jeffrey, Mmilidzi, Jessie, JK, Lerato, Belinda- I cannot thank them enough for their advice, listening ear, helping hand, supportive and inspiring words and the spunk and spontaneity that most radiated. The treatment we got, the respect any other college student would receive. The friends- Ida and Andrea especially- for the friendship we strengthened. Five years of occasional "hi" and "bye" evolved into a tightly bonded trio, ever ready to look out for and trust in each other.
I will never forget bouncing around and getting dizzy just waltzing across the Hogwarts-like Dining Hall on Bush Dance Night..it was an amazing experience, just letting loose and throwing all your worries away, swirling around as time froze. JK's "read between the lines" and Najla's counterback that slapped him on the face. Trying to find my groove on the dance floor on Disco Night..and fire engines rushing through the Trinity Gates as the smoke machine had triggered the fire alarm- who would've imagined such a thing happening? Oh and jumping on the wrong tram to the Melbourne Theatre of Arts with Sunny and Najla..without any tram tickets..and getting Lerato worried sick and later catching Olympic Champion Cathy Freeman in the flesh. Watching Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason at the cinema at Highpoint before everyone else back home. Fighting with Jeffrey over nothing, armed with a fork and knife respectively..and having it filmed? Tom going "Bowrrrr" and Chris' witty ways..hanging out with Ida, Josh and Nigel at the Bulpadock in the cold nights, only to bump into Inspector Mmilidzi and Mr Tom? Autographing numerous books for new found friends. Me getting all slurred up on the phone, in the toilet..sleeping after 12 every single night. Zheng Xi making sure I went to sleep and washed my face on some of the latest nights. Our declaration of love to Jessie at Lygon's Borders. Cereal breakfasts, meetings at the JCR, classes, weird sandwiches for lunch, good pasta dinners and very unauthentic "restaurant" Vietnamese food. My tears at the Ace-Hi logs, and again at the Bull at Trinity College..my gratitude to those who gave me reassuring words, hugs, hand squeezes. Watching people try to get Vincent to not smile for a while. Mmilidzi going "G-Unit" with that tone, that smug look of gratitude and pride on his face after Lil' C splashed the cash to get him a pair of school-shoe-resembling Reeboks..and how every other mentor got green-eyed after that! Combing through the shops in Melbourne City on the hottest December day..Saturday the 18th. Najla and I joining Jeff and his mentor group for a shopping trip, Gavin "losing" his AUD$200 G-Star pants, Jeff himself getting hit on by the gay salesman (on our request) and leaving his Quiksilver jumper behind in his haste to run away! The havoc that clouded my room at Jeopardy 215 each time there was a formal- hair straightening, "Gimme some foundation..okay now blusher?? Blusher!!", "Do I look okay?"- with easily 10 girls having walked in and out. Mmilidzi's poses for the camera and the blur of excitement at the pre-dinners and Welcome and Valedictory Dinners. Lunch at the Union House with Rohan and Andrea. Me smiling at the surveillance camera in the Clarke's Buliding Computer Room at 3am. Who remembers me falling asleep during the lecture at the Medical faculty? When the speaker said they were going to conduct a study on why students fall asleep on their friend's shoulders during lectures? Maleik's classic "Allah will protect me.." and Zheng Xi's "Stop running, long legs (Doug)!" on Mystery Night, in our attempt to stop Jeff from running across the Dining Hall stage screaming "My Cojack!" (who would've guessed it was Vivien?). Walking to Victoria Market with our hands hooked onto each other's (Nigel and Vish). Then who doesn't recall our valedictorian Mitchell (who reduced so many of the girls to tears when he showed off his Josh Groban voice after the speech) jumping around in his group's interpretation of "A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss"? ..so many memories.
And on December 18th 2004..our last night: "The Last Salsa" as I choose to call it. Myself, Jeffrey, Ida and Vishnu walked Joshua and Nigel out to the tram stop. The stars were out, elbows occassionally hooked together for the last time, we were talking, sometimes serious..sometimes not so..but then their tram came..and the guys ran to catch it. Ida called for one last salsa..and Jeff, Ida, Vish and I could only watch as Nigel salsa-ed on the midnight tram an it moved away into the darkness, disappearing into a tiny speck, away from Trinity. "Jessalsa.."
I'll never forget the feeling of being hustled into the van. The van that tore me away from the hugs, Jeffrey's tears that fell free that Sunday morning, the helpless faces who simply could not follow us to the airport to send us off..
Nor will I ever forget the feeling of regret and denial as I unhooked my swipey and room key from the Trinity College lanyard (remember the debate with Jessie about advertising during the group discussion/ presentation?) and handed it back to JK, the accomodations guy from Sibu, East Malaysia, who volunteered to bring our 20-kilogramme luggages to our rooms on the first night (where dinner was not provided, on or off the plane due to the time difference and daylight saving..just our luck).
As our driver pulled away through the majestic Trinity gates, away from the Malory Tower-like building I had come to love, my home away from home, the setting for a fortnight of forged friendships set to last a lifetime..we shed tear after tear, the six of us, comforting each other as the faces of the remaining students, mentors and Mr Tom became a blur..and eventually it was all wiped out from view. It was painful enough sending person after person off, beginning with the Bowen kids..and our last being valedictorian Mitch..and as the force grew smaller..it was even more difficult it was to part and leave our little army, our pack of friends. We may have been forced to part in sight, but each person I became acquainted to will always be close to heart. Nobody can take those memories away from me..and these will be with me to pride wherever life chooses to lead me.
Well, Maleik did get his G-Units for Christmas (or did he not?), with much love from his mentor family. JK, you got "that" text message in the end..the one Maleik deemed "incestious" during the painful rounds of Heart Attack in the JCR. I only started to get to know some people better over the Internet post-CTSS, that's one tiny regret I have. Because as Mitch said, "If we were back at Trinity, we'd be able to have these conversations face to face..on the Bulpadock.."
I long to be at the Bulpadock with the hammer of love and hugs. That's bound to stick as my MSN nickname for awhile.
Everyone was friend at Trinity. There was no segregation, pretty much, and that makes it all beautiful. To quote Mmilidzi, "I'm glad you guys loved each other unlike at previous summer schools.." Indeed, we at CTSS '04 were different. We seized each day as if it were the last, we bonded in such special ways and that's how we will have so many memories and lessons to take with us for months, years, decades and centuries to come. No matter how long we had stayed, there would always have been a need for goodbye. The longer the stay, the more painful the goodbye. Despite this contradicting my previous remarks to some, I'll reaffirm that the two week duration was most ideal for us to mingle and learn, not only within the classroom, but from each other, from places we visited and the things we did (and were forced to do). Minus the tiny dark specks known as conflicts, tiffs, emotional rollercoasters, mishaps and unavoidable circumstances..it neared perfection on a scale from one to nine. Without us knowing, these black imprints that one may choose to delete from memory actually made Summer School a more rounded encounter for us all, for it was the pedestal to learning up humanitarian values- compromise and the ability to work things out..lessons of that sort.
I spent the most beautiful Christmas Eve at the Singapore CTSS Reunion. The ambience was perfect. As everyone gathered at the long white couch nearing dinnertime, after the hug fests had subsided, it felt like the JCR all over again. 15 of us reunited..13 Singaporeans, 1 from Brunei and me, from Malaysia. As we talked, 2Strong spun on the CD player at the ideal volume, setting the perfect Trinity Summer School feel to the Christmas Eve gathering. It was good to see Joy, Vishnu and Rrrrrrrrimjhim and the rest of the gang just as we were. A week after we said our first goodbyes, we were at Eldric's place, 7000 miles away from Trinity..One week passed and nothing had changed. We're still so tightly bonded, just as at Trinity. The Singaporean reunion was a reminder that things will remain beautiful for a long time to come..for us friends, acquaintances..all around this globe. Dinner was turkey, mashed potato, ham, pasta and chicken wings..and it was yummy, just for the record! Look Eldric up if ever you're in Singapore because his mum can really cook- anyone can testify to that!
2004 was complete and whole because of Summer School. And I'm sure, with my imminent college days (which hopefully will be sponsored), 2005 holds a lot more for me.
Life is just beginning to take shape. I think.