Hopelessly Outclassed, by Delurker (for the Harlequin Challenge)
Title: Hopelessly outclassed
Author: delurker
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard pre-slash
Rating: G
Feedback/criticism: Will be gratefully hoarded and possibly gold-plated.
Author's notes: The plot bunny bit hard for this one. Ouch. For kiranovember, who suggested it, although it's not quite what you asked for. Many thanks to dzurlady for the very quick and dirty beta as I slide in under the wire.
Summary: When his sister Jeannie has to go away for a week for her work, the brilliant astrophysicist Dr Rodney McKay agrees to take care of her baby, Abigail. He soon finds himself hopelessly inadequate to the task - but maybe he can make it through the week with the help of his sister's sexy next door neighbour, John Sheppard!
Dr Rodney McKay was a brilliant astrophysicist. In fact, he was possibly - no, make that definitely - the most qualified astrophysicist in North America. The world, even. He had a big lab with many minions, albeit incompetent ones, and the very latest equipment. He had the phone numbers of everyone who was anyone in the scientific world, and the wrong word from him could prove devastating to a young scientist's career.
He was hopelessly outclassed.
"Look, why don't you just tell me what you want? I mean, granted, you're only six months old and you can't talk yet, but… I've fed you, I've changed you, I've put you to bed, I've walked you round the room and you're still crying! What's left?"
In answer, Abigail screamed even louder.
"Oh, please don't. Seriously, how are you still screaming? Why hasn't your throat given out yet? Are you even human? Because frankly, I have my doubts. Spawn of Satan seems more likely to me."
At least Jeannie had convinced him to move into her house while he was looking after Abigail; had he stayed at his apartment, no doubt he'd currently be looking for a new one. On the other hand, he missed his cat already - he hoped the woman next door was remembering to feed him - and if Abigail kept screaming he'd be moving into a nice new room with padded walls and hot and cold running nurses. Clearly there was only one thing left to do.
"Here, let's put on your silly little hat. We're going outside." If he was going insane, he was taking the neighbours with him.
* * *
Rodney had been nursing some small hope that the fresh air would magically make Abigail stop crying, but after a sold 15 hours he should have known better. Screaming at her to 'shut up right this instant' was likewise inevitably doomed to failure, but Rodney felt that it was particularly unfair of the universe to make his sister's incredibly hot neighbour arrive home at that exact moment.
"That bad, huh?"
"Yes, exactly that bad, thanks for asking," Rodney snapped. The man smirked slightly in response, and Rodney decided that it was a good thing he had had a day of Abigail for an excuse, because he had a feeling that he was staring. A tendril of good feeling towards her raised a head, but withered quickly when he remembered that screaming back at a six-month-old was not the best first impression he could make.
"John Sheppard."
"What?"
"John Sheppard. It's my name."
"Oh. Oh! Dr Rodney McKay, and this is my niece, Abigail."
"Yes, Abby and I have already met, being as how we're neighbours and all."
"Oh yes, of course. Was she screaming at the time?"
"Not always, no."
"Well, you could fool me."
Hardly his best conversation, but Rodney was tired, and distracted by John Sheppard's ears. Were they pointed? They looked pointed, and very lickable. He was blaming the ears for the fact that when John reached out for Abigail, he surrendered her without protest. Although perhaps blame was the wrong word when -
"She's stopped crying!"
"I wouldn't take it personally, Dr McKay." Rodney would have taken him more seriously if the smirk hadn't reappeared, but he couldn't find it in him to care.
"Are you kidding? She's stopped crying. You could be sacrificing hamsters and I wouldn't care, provided she stopped crying."
"Well, I don't know about hamsters, but I could really go for an offering of pizza and beer."
"Huh? Are you angling for dinner?"
"More like demanding. You buy me dinner, and I'll keep Abby quiet. Play your cards right and I'll even get her to sleep."
"Deal," replied Rodney instantly. Quite what John was getting out of the deal, he couldn't quite fathom, but if it gave him an evening of staring at the man in a mercifully quiet house, he was all for it.
End Chapter One.
While I was looking for a title for this thing, I came across the following summary for a romance novel:
Nobody’s Baby But Mine, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.
Determined to have a baby on her own terms, a brilliant physics professor poses as a prostitute to spend the night with a big lug of a football player.
I think I broke my brain.
Author: delurker
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard pre-slash
Rating: G
Feedback/criticism: Will be gratefully hoarded and possibly gold-plated.
Author's notes: The plot bunny bit hard for this one. Ouch. For kiranovember, who suggested it, although it's not quite what you asked for. Many thanks to dzurlady for the very quick and dirty beta as I slide in under the wire.
Summary: When his sister Jeannie has to go away for a week for her work, the brilliant astrophysicist Dr Rodney McKay agrees to take care of her baby, Abigail. He soon finds himself hopelessly inadequate to the task - but maybe he can make it through the week with the help of his sister's sexy next door neighbour, John Sheppard!
Dr Rodney McKay was a brilliant astrophysicist. In fact, he was possibly - no, make that definitely - the most qualified astrophysicist in North America. The world, even. He had a big lab with many minions, albeit incompetent ones, and the very latest equipment. He had the phone numbers of everyone who was anyone in the scientific world, and the wrong word from him could prove devastating to a young scientist's career.
He was hopelessly outclassed.
"Look, why don't you just tell me what you want? I mean, granted, you're only six months old and you can't talk yet, but… I've fed you, I've changed you, I've put you to bed, I've walked you round the room and you're still crying! What's left?"
In answer, Abigail screamed even louder.
"Oh, please don't. Seriously, how are you still screaming? Why hasn't your throat given out yet? Are you even human? Because frankly, I have my doubts. Spawn of Satan seems more likely to me."
At least Jeannie had convinced him to move into her house while he was looking after Abigail; had he stayed at his apartment, no doubt he'd currently be looking for a new one. On the other hand, he missed his cat already - he hoped the woman next door was remembering to feed him - and if Abigail kept screaming he'd be moving into a nice new room with padded walls and hot and cold running nurses. Clearly there was only one thing left to do.
"Here, let's put on your silly little hat. We're going outside." If he was going insane, he was taking the neighbours with him.
* * *
Rodney had been nursing some small hope that the fresh air would magically make Abigail stop crying, but after a sold 15 hours he should have known better. Screaming at her to 'shut up right this instant' was likewise inevitably doomed to failure, but Rodney felt that it was particularly unfair of the universe to make his sister's incredibly hot neighbour arrive home at that exact moment.
"That bad, huh?"
"Yes, exactly that bad, thanks for asking," Rodney snapped. The man smirked slightly in response, and Rodney decided that it was a good thing he had had a day of Abigail for an excuse, because he had a feeling that he was staring. A tendril of good feeling towards her raised a head, but withered quickly when he remembered that screaming back at a six-month-old was not the best first impression he could make.
"John Sheppard."
"What?"
"John Sheppard. It's my name."
"Oh. Oh! Dr Rodney McKay, and this is my niece, Abigail."
"Yes, Abby and I have already met, being as how we're neighbours and all."
"Oh yes, of course. Was she screaming at the time?"
"Not always, no."
"Well, you could fool me."
Hardly his best conversation, but Rodney was tired, and distracted by John Sheppard's ears. Were they pointed? They looked pointed, and very lickable. He was blaming the ears for the fact that when John reached out for Abigail, he surrendered her without protest. Although perhaps blame was the wrong word when -
"She's stopped crying!"
"I wouldn't take it personally, Dr McKay." Rodney would have taken him more seriously if the smirk hadn't reappeared, but he couldn't find it in him to care.
"Are you kidding? She's stopped crying. You could be sacrificing hamsters and I wouldn't care, provided she stopped crying."
"Well, I don't know about hamsters, but I could really go for an offering of pizza and beer."
"Huh? Are you angling for dinner?"
"More like demanding. You buy me dinner, and I'll keep Abby quiet. Play your cards right and I'll even get her to sleep."
"Deal," replied Rodney instantly. Quite what John was getting out of the deal, he couldn't quite fathom, but if it gave him an evening of staring at the man in a mercifully quiet house, he was all for it.
End Chapter One.
While I was looking for a title for this thing, I came across the following summary for a romance novel:
Nobody’s Baby But Mine, by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.
Determined to have a baby on her own terms, a brilliant physics professor poses as a prostitute to spend the night with a big lug of a football player.
I think I broke my brain.