I did it!
I did it. I finally sat down and called all my doctors today so I could start out my sabbatical by getting my check-up/baselines. If I know that I need baselines to help me stick with taking care of myself, then I should get them. And not wait until I think I am better to go get a check up. This way I can see improvement. Or not.
And as usual, I am scared to go see them. Having a lot of foot problems that are reminding me of my dad. My feet look just like his. Yes, the ones that got cut off. So I really do freak out at those moments. But I have to remember my nightmare of the demon chasing him, and me yelling at him from the porch and turn around and face it. And in the dream, when it got him, and it turned and came for me, I took a deep breath and stood up tall and walked out into the street to meet it. Then I woke up.
I'm not waking up from this. And yet, I will have to just keep turning to face it, the family curse. After two or so years of not taking care of myself, working too hard, grieving too hard and sacrificing my body to burn too many candles, I can't expect my body to be in the shape it was when I went into that.
I also hate doctors. But I am greatly relieved that the podiatrist I'm seeing comes recommended by a friend who knows about medical stuff. So that is a big load off my mind. Also, I am going to have a friend go with me.
My doctor and I have go rounds about the mammogram. In a good-natured kind of way. But I looked at my lab papers and there is a note that said "You owe me labs from 2010. Get them. Please." Smiley face.
It beats sitting around and worrying about my toe all the time.
And as usual, I am scared to go see them. Having a lot of foot problems that are reminding me of my dad. My feet look just like his. Yes, the ones that got cut off. So I really do freak out at those moments. But I have to remember my nightmare of the demon chasing him, and me yelling at him from the porch and turn around and face it. And in the dream, when it got him, and it turned and came for me, I took a deep breath and stood up tall and walked out into the street to meet it. Then I woke up.
I'm not waking up from this. And yet, I will have to just keep turning to face it, the family curse. After two or so years of not taking care of myself, working too hard, grieving too hard and sacrificing my body to burn too many candles, I can't expect my body to be in the shape it was when I went into that.
I also hate doctors. But I am greatly relieved that the podiatrist I'm seeing comes recommended by a friend who knows about medical stuff. So that is a big load off my mind. Also, I am going to have a friend go with me.
My doctor and I have go rounds about the mammogram. In a good-natured kind of way. But I looked at my lab papers and there is a note that said "You owe me labs from 2010. Get them. Please." Smiley face.
It beats sitting around and worrying about my toe all the time.