and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you...
Life sucks. I can’t deal with this. Until today, I was in denial. I didn’t want to believe that it’s happening. I wanted to believe that it was all a dream and that nothing was official. But now, it is.
I don’t want things to change. That’s my biggest problem, but I can’t live with this. I want to help, but I can’t do that without changing my life and yes, this is selfish of me, but I don’t want to do that.
I want to be able to do whatever I want to do. And that would be a no go. And I don’t want to hurt your feelings because to be honest, I care about you more than anyone in this world. You are family to me. And that’s what hurts me the most, is that I can’t do a damn thing for you.
I’m not equipped to deal with situations that have no set in stone solution for me. I’m use to those situations that are clear cut and that you have two paths and you can choose what you want without changing someone else. And most people don’t realize that.
And this hard for me. It hurts me on the inside and it makes me break down. Sometimes, it’s so hard to talk to you. I am sad, but I can’t be because if I am, it will lead to me crying and I can’t do that because if I cry, I won’t be strong and I need to be strong… for you.
I don’t want things to change. That’s my biggest problem, but I can’t live with this. I want to help, but I can’t do that without changing my life and yes, this is selfish of me, but I don’t want to do that.
I want to be able to do whatever I want to do. And that would be a no go. And I don’t want to hurt your feelings because to be honest, I care about you more than anyone in this world. You are family to me. And that’s what hurts me the most, is that I can’t do a damn thing for you.
I’m not equipped to deal with situations that have no set in stone solution for me. I’m use to those situations that are clear cut and that you have two paths and you can choose what you want without changing someone else. And most people don’t realize that.
And this hard for me. It hurts me on the inside and it makes me break down. Sometimes, it’s so hard to talk to you. I am sad, but I can’t be because if I am, it will lead to me crying and I can’t do that because if I cry, I won’t be strong and I need to be strong… for you.