complaints
Life is changing as we know it and I am changing as well. It's harder for me this year seeing people and remember all the good times we had, yet a whole summer changes the way they act. People that always made me happy, just pass by like we never knew eachother. It's pretty fxked up. To think you knew what was going on yet you were the stupid one. Masha was right. This boyfriend girlfriend thing is really fine by me but if you are going to look like you're eating them in a really disturbing manner, do it elsewhere. Some people are just plain sick of looking at that and it seems like you're rubbing it in others faces. It's rather annoying. Friends. I wish there was one person that could actually just take the time to know who I am. It bothers me when you try to befriend me, and we're good friends for the most part, and the next year, I mean, we're alright, yet you seem to be ditching me. I wish you wouldn't do that. I also told you alot of my secrets and you told everyone else. There was a reason that only you knew. But I guess the only intention you ever intended to do was to hurt me. It's alright. I know not to turn to you anymore.
Seeing best friends walking everyone give me a sense of joy. It makes me happy to see that and just think of all the 14, almost 15 years of good times I had with my best friend. She is the only one that has really ever been there for me. She's not here anymore but she's awesome. She understands me and she tells me when I'm wrong. I can't get that from anyone anymore. Trust is like dead as we speak. Maybe this is all gibberish. Maybe.
School. I'm trying but I am just slacking off and just not caring anymore. I'm trying and I guess it's paying off since my grades are rising. I'm beginning to get a better understanding of Biology and World geography is just killing me. Geometry is getting better, and I actually understand the trigonometry. Suprising much?
I also realized I am too self concious and have a lower self esteem than most of you think. I put myself down alot and now I realize what I really need to do is turn to God. I want to understand who I am and who I am really meant to be. It's confusing and gives me headaches but I really need to know who I am. I need to know why I'm here and for what purpose. I want to know my life story and I want to start over. Scratch that. Not want. I will start over. I'm going to live to my fullest since I know this is the only chance I'll ever get to show the defination of Me. I'm not going to let stupid things get in my way.
Note: Don't ever call me emo. It pisses the shit out of me. Most of you dont know the defination of emo. I am not emo and I just have problems like you. Now I dont call you emo do I? No, I don't. I'm just trying to figure out who I am. Can you let me do that? Okay good.
Sorry for all my complaints. I'm going to do better.
I'm going to change.
Seeing best friends walking everyone give me a sense of joy. It makes me happy to see that and just think of all the 14, almost 15 years of good times I had with my best friend. She is the only one that has really ever been there for me. She's not here anymore but she's awesome. She understands me and she tells me when I'm wrong. I can't get that from anyone anymore. Trust is like dead as we speak. Maybe this is all gibberish. Maybe.
School. I'm trying but I am just slacking off and just not caring anymore. I'm trying and I guess it's paying off since my grades are rising. I'm beginning to get a better understanding of Biology and World geography is just killing me. Geometry is getting better, and I actually understand the trigonometry. Suprising much?
I also realized I am too self concious and have a lower self esteem than most of you think. I put myself down alot and now I realize what I really need to do is turn to God. I want to understand who I am and who I am really meant to be. It's confusing and gives me headaches but I really need to know who I am. I need to know why I'm here and for what purpose. I want to know my life story and I want to start over. Scratch that. Not want. I will start over. I'm going to live to my fullest since I know this is the only chance I'll ever get to show the defination of Me. I'm not going to let stupid things get in my way.
Note: Don't ever call me emo. It pisses the shit out of me. Most of you dont know the defination of emo. I am not emo and I just have problems like you. Now I dont call you emo do I? No, I don't. I'm just trying to figure out who I am. Can you let me do that? Okay good.
Sorry for all my complaints. I'm going to do better.
I'm going to change.