A Scanner Dusty
It must have been in 6th or 7th grade when I was required to create a "Photo-Biography."
Note: That's genuine plastic!
Caption: Here is me at one week!
Note: Notice how gigantic my hands are? We at once had thought I had Marfan's Syndrome like Abraham Lincoln but it turns out I only have depression like our 16th President. Sigh.
Caption: No matter how young, I've always watched TV.
Note: This was during my extreme bouts of OCD/High-Functioning Autism where if I had missed Sesame Street (notice Kermit the Frog on the TV screen) a severe panic would ensue much like if Rain Man--which was playing in theaters around that time--had missed Jeopardy.
Caption: Churn that butter, Pilgrim! (preschool)
Note: I don't remember who that girl was but damn her for making me do all the work.
Caption: Gee, I sure was cool back then!
Note: Considering that I use the interjection "Gee", I think not. Also, I think this is what NY hipsters wear nowadays. If only I could still fit into those pants which seemed to have not fit me even then.
Caption: SHUT UP MAN!
Note: Around this age I was being tested for numerous medications to clear up whatever problem I had. My twin brother, on the other hand, was trying to eat He-Man.
Caption: My 5th Birthday. Nice Crown.
Note: If Robin is Batman's sidekick, why is his cake bigger? Clearly I was robbed. Also notice I got the He-Man candle while my brother had She-Ra.
Caption: Get on the Bus! (to school)
Note: This has nothing to do with the Million Man March.
Caption: I should really stop hurting my dog!
Note: We were wearing Mom's famous line of designer "Frog's Wearing Sunglasses" shorts.
Caption: My Guinea Pig has red eyes! It's a Zombie!
Note: Apparently, zombies can die via massive tumors. Also: I'm wearing the infamous "Moose working out" shorts in this one.
Caption: There is me in 5th grade!
Note: Back then everyone had a bowl-cut. Lay off!
Alex
Note: That's genuine plastic!
Caption: Here is me at one week!
Note: Notice how gigantic my hands are? We at once had thought I had Marfan's Syndrome like Abraham Lincoln but it turns out I only have depression like our 16th President. Sigh.
Caption: No matter how young, I've always watched TV.
Note: This was during my extreme bouts of OCD/High-Functioning Autism where if I had missed Sesame Street (notice Kermit the Frog on the TV screen) a severe panic would ensue much like if Rain Man--which was playing in theaters around that time--had missed Jeopardy.
Caption: Churn that butter, Pilgrim! (preschool)
Note: I don't remember who that girl was but damn her for making me do all the work.
Caption: Gee, I sure was cool back then!
Note: Considering that I use the interjection "Gee", I think not. Also, I think this is what NY hipsters wear nowadays. If only I could still fit into those pants which seemed to have not fit me even then.
Caption: SHUT UP MAN!
Note: Around this age I was being tested for numerous medications to clear up whatever problem I had. My twin brother, on the other hand, was trying to eat He-Man.
Caption: My 5th Birthday. Nice Crown.
Note: If Robin is Batman's sidekick, why is his cake bigger? Clearly I was robbed. Also notice I got the He-Man candle while my brother had She-Ra.
Caption: Get on the Bus! (to school)
Note: This has nothing to do with the Million Man March.
Caption: I should really stop hurting my dog!
Note: We were wearing Mom's famous line of designer "Frog's Wearing Sunglasses" shorts.
Caption: My Guinea Pig has red eyes! It's a Zombie!
Note: Apparently, zombies can die via massive tumors. Also: I'm wearing the infamous "Moose working out" shorts in this one.
Caption: There is me in 5th grade!
Note: Back then everyone had a bowl-cut. Lay off!
Alex