(no subject)
i scored majorly today..with everything. How i got so much luck i have no idea. I got the new usher cd!!!!! and the chingy cd!!!!
NO FUCKING SHIT....i think nona is the only one who knows who im talking about and she would understand hoow fucking wierd this is....anyway.....first, nona, ill say LAURA LOMBERA!!! Yeah, laura...is one of my old middle schoool mexican chicas that i had. These were the people i hung out with in middle school when me and nona were friends but we had our separeate groups, i guess. Me and her werent as close till like 6th or 7th grade. Anyway. It was insane...i was at the store and al;l of a sudde...ihear my name being yelled....and i was like WTF?? And then i looked at her, and heer being a bit larger...it took awhile..but eventually i was like..."LAURA..LAURA LOMBERA" I was in a hurry to go babysit..but im going by tomoroow...to talk to her...if someone recognizes a person...or me six years later...i mean shit she saw me when i was younger...and she also saw me through my gothic stage...and then i disappeared for six years..i mean shit if someone can recognize me or anyone years later, thats gotta be a true friend. i probably should be careful saying that, seeing it as ive made that assumption before. I dont mean to be passive against nona by me saying that. She has what it takes to be a true friend, a great friend...a best friend.
When it comes to her, i dont know what happened, i dont know how to label things or distinguish what was right or wrong. I get so scared and sad even when it just flashes in my head. And when i am reminded of her or when i wish i knew how she was or when i admit that i really do miss her, i feel like a failure, i feel like i shouldnt be thinking that. I think i dont want to admit thart i miss her because i spent so much time trying to prove a point to her, tried to fix things, felt every emotion possible, and not to take full credit for pausing our relationship, i did end it. I didnt like who i was with her. There was more good then bad. I dont fucking know. I cant talk about this anymore..im already crying. But behind all the anger and hostility, i miss her and i will always care for her and think of her.
I read her live journal....i cant put together whats all going on with her. Maybe its for the better. I was going to text message her asking her how she was...but now reading the possibility of her troubles involving jason{her boyfriend}, i dont want it to look like..now if jasons out of the picture, i should step in. Because that was the whole issue. So im even more stuck then i was. But even though im still hesitant to communicate with her and because im scared of what that could entail, if she called me right now, i would start crying.
I know there is some sort of future though, after like three months without her, have i given it up yet? No, i still talk about her.
Whatever, im nothing, i have nothing.
I started biking. no not in spandex....in krista gear...flip flops and a skirt...and the helmet around the handle bar...once i leave the gate.
Ive really had the urge to smoke weed. I havenbt smoked for like two months. But i know what smoking once leads too..it leads to one month...two months. shit.
Ill go buy some cloves instead.
Im going to the mall for the first time in like a long ass time. I have $200 to spend at the gap. I NEED MY BATH AND BODY WORKS!
goddamnit going to the mall without her, is going to make me miss her more.
Krista get a grip, your psycho and your only gonna fuck everything up like always.
anyways
ALEXYS...i miss you!!!
CALL ME BITCH.
hahahah....just to tell everyoone...ive been diagnosed with 'impulse-control disorder'...im on risperadal. hahaha.
luda luda...haha
im leaving aol now its sucks fucking balls.
Hope all my live journal buddies are doing well. shit i dont know if nona is still one of them...i probably did some immature thing like delete her or some shit...if not well, hello nona. Must go now.
KAB LUVS U! (sorry i dont have my liscence plate to give that kab love anymore)
Late
NO FUCKING SHIT....i think nona is the only one who knows who im talking about and she would understand hoow fucking wierd this is....anyway.....first, nona, ill say LAURA LOMBERA!!! Yeah, laura...is one of my old middle schoool mexican chicas that i had. These were the people i hung out with in middle school when me and nona were friends but we had our separeate groups, i guess. Me and her werent as close till like 6th or 7th grade. Anyway. It was insane...i was at the store and al;l of a sudde...ihear my name being yelled....and i was like WTF?? And then i looked at her, and heer being a bit larger...it took awhile..but eventually i was like..."LAURA..LAURA LOMBERA" I was in a hurry to go babysit..but im going by tomoroow...to talk to her...if someone recognizes a person...or me six years later...i mean shit she saw me when i was younger...and she also saw me through my gothic stage...and then i disappeared for six years..i mean shit if someone can recognize me or anyone years later, thats gotta be a true friend. i probably should be careful saying that, seeing it as ive made that assumption before. I dont mean to be passive against nona by me saying that. She has what it takes to be a true friend, a great friend...a best friend.
When it comes to her, i dont know what happened, i dont know how to label things or distinguish what was right or wrong. I get so scared and sad even when it just flashes in my head. And when i am reminded of her or when i wish i knew how she was or when i admit that i really do miss her, i feel like a failure, i feel like i shouldnt be thinking that. I think i dont want to admit thart i miss her because i spent so much time trying to prove a point to her, tried to fix things, felt every emotion possible, and not to take full credit for pausing our relationship, i did end it. I didnt like who i was with her. There was more good then bad. I dont fucking know. I cant talk about this anymore..im already crying. But behind all the anger and hostility, i miss her and i will always care for her and think of her.
I read her live journal....i cant put together whats all going on with her. Maybe its for the better. I was going to text message her asking her how she was...but now reading the possibility of her troubles involving jason{her boyfriend}, i dont want it to look like..now if jasons out of the picture, i should step in. Because that was the whole issue. So im even more stuck then i was. But even though im still hesitant to communicate with her and because im scared of what that could entail, if she called me right now, i would start crying.
I know there is some sort of future though, after like three months without her, have i given it up yet? No, i still talk about her.
Whatever, im nothing, i have nothing.
I started biking. no not in spandex....in krista gear...flip flops and a skirt...and the helmet around the handle bar...once i leave the gate.
Ive really had the urge to smoke weed. I havenbt smoked for like two months. But i know what smoking once leads too..it leads to one month...two months. shit.
Ill go buy some cloves instead.
Im going to the mall for the first time in like a long ass time. I have $200 to spend at the gap. I NEED MY BATH AND BODY WORKS!
goddamnit going to the mall without her, is going to make me miss her more.
Krista get a grip, your psycho and your only gonna fuck everything up like always.
anyways
ALEXYS...i miss you!!!
CALL ME BITCH.
hahahah....just to tell everyoone...ive been diagnosed with 'impulse-control disorder'...im on risperadal. hahaha.
luda luda...haha
im leaving aol now its sucks fucking balls.
Hope all my live journal buddies are doing well. shit i dont know if nona is still one of them...i probably did some immature thing like delete her or some shit...if not well, hello nona. Must go now.
KAB LUVS U! (sorry i dont have my liscence plate to give that kab love anymore)
Late