Let Me Reminisce...
Well, how much time has passed? One measly month or so? -Which although seemingly flying by has, in retrospect, been one of both impact and change...
1. A minimal event has violently shoved me to whimsically stand on my toes, warping me back to a period in my life where everything, although seeming perfect, was falling apart all around me... (and when I refer to my life, I refer not to the actions of those around me, but the indirect self-destructive antics I seem to acquire every now and then).
2. My pillar of strength is growing up and moving out. I mean, I try to envision my home-life without her and I would dare to say that it almost becomes non-existent, -a world of silence and loneliness. It'd be ironic to think that the root of my grief was caused by the good intention of my own hand.
3. Friendships that mean the world to me, I find slowly diminishing, -although I swore that I would never allow the experience of life extinguish its existence. I find it all slipping away from my grasps and it saddens me. Despite the issue of changing surroundings, know that I don't want us to change -Remember that.
4. I've become an animalistic, doubting, insecure, easily-angered, caged and restrained, savage-like being. I feel inhibited by something greater than I, -like someone trying to escape themselves and having no escape, going back to a hermetic state and losing partial optimism. I've done what it is I most despise, -begin to care. I believe this is where I've found my unhappiness. When did I stop not caring and begin caring about the world, instead of just my own?
And so, how or what am I to do with myself? For your constancy is as fickle as a child’s devotion to a new toy; like a Barbie, always having it’s classic appeal but always replaced with its variant carbon-copy, although none-the-less -still a Barbie…
It’s a paradoxical contradiction for history predetermines one’s future, but then again, one’s future shouldn’t be predetermined by the past. Our past is all we have, although we live for a tomorrow that may never come. What do we take when leaving anywhere? What could’ve been, what can be, or what in fact happened?
Should we judge previous actions as how we are treated today? What happens when both situations are as similar as one’s reflection yet, there lies the chance that something in fact has changed… -that, who stares back is in fact a different and more mature person?
Life is based on chance, but it’s a pity if a mistake is done more than once based on the poor judging of a hazy reflection. It’s impossible to just simply let go of what once was or happened, -they've allowed us to become who we are, even if it is for better or for worst…
For certain periods of one's life one needs certain things, -and for once I pray that I’m not blinding myself from an evidential truth that may lie underneath the evident surface of things. It’s not that difficult to have the past come flooding back to conscious awareness and bring up the possibility that history in all of its infamous glory can reoccur…
Jealousy is the first sign of insecurity in oneself, and so I guess at times, I Am Insecure -history has given me the right to be, although I’m not THAT insecure of myself -RATHER of my instilled trust in other people, -Go Figure!
I refuse to preach but merely vouch for my opinion, -No one is any LESSER for thinking any MORE or LESS of the norm…
And so, With The Roses Died Your Image, For As They Once Had Blossomed -Are Now Enriched In Their Decay.
1. A minimal event has violently shoved me to whimsically stand on my toes, warping me back to a period in my life where everything, although seeming perfect, was falling apart all around me... (and when I refer to my life, I refer not to the actions of those around me, but the indirect self-destructive antics I seem to acquire every now and then).
2. My pillar of strength is growing up and moving out. I mean, I try to envision my home-life without her and I would dare to say that it almost becomes non-existent, -a world of silence and loneliness. It'd be ironic to think that the root of my grief was caused by the good intention of my own hand.
3. Friendships that mean the world to me, I find slowly diminishing, -although I swore that I would never allow the experience of life extinguish its existence. I find it all slipping away from my grasps and it saddens me. Despite the issue of changing surroundings, know that I don't want us to change -Remember that.
4. I've become an animalistic, doubting, insecure, easily-angered, caged and restrained, savage-like being. I feel inhibited by something greater than I, -like someone trying to escape themselves and having no escape, going back to a hermetic state and losing partial optimism. I've done what it is I most despise, -begin to care. I believe this is where I've found my unhappiness. When did I stop not caring and begin caring about the world, instead of just my own?
And so, how or what am I to do with myself? For your constancy is as fickle as a child’s devotion to a new toy; like a Barbie, always having it’s classic appeal but always replaced with its variant carbon-copy, although none-the-less -still a Barbie…
It’s a paradoxical contradiction for history predetermines one’s future, but then again, one’s future shouldn’t be predetermined by the past. Our past is all we have, although we live for a tomorrow that may never come. What do we take when leaving anywhere? What could’ve been, what can be, or what in fact happened?
Should we judge previous actions as how we are treated today? What happens when both situations are as similar as one’s reflection yet, there lies the chance that something in fact has changed… -that, who stares back is in fact a different and more mature person?
Life is based on chance, but it’s a pity if a mistake is done more than once based on the poor judging of a hazy reflection. It’s impossible to just simply let go of what once was or happened, -they've allowed us to become who we are, even if it is for better or for worst…
For certain periods of one's life one needs certain things, -and for once I pray that I’m not blinding myself from an evidential truth that may lie underneath the evident surface of things. It’s not that difficult to have the past come flooding back to conscious awareness and bring up the possibility that history in all of its infamous glory can reoccur…
Jealousy is the first sign of insecurity in oneself, and so I guess at times, I Am Insecure -history has given me the right to be, although I’m not THAT insecure of myself -RATHER of my instilled trust in other people, -Go Figure!
I refuse to preach but merely vouch for my opinion, -No one is any LESSER for thinking any MORE or LESS of the norm…
And so, With The Roses Died Your Image, For As They Once Had Blossomed -Are Now Enriched In Their Decay.