things that have happened
I got employed at Nordstrom's. I worked in a restaraunt and I realized how much I actually hate passionless work. But I made mad bank.
I didn't get into New Paltz's painting and drawing program because I didn't send my FIT transcript /:
But I am in New Paltz right now in the Art History program, and funny enough, I am taking no art history classes.
That's all I can think of. I was dating two people for a while and that was getting overwhelming, and then I moved away from them, and the problem solved itself. Neither one was "seriously" dating me. Mostly just fucking and smoking weed. I feel very whatever about it. No harm done. Probably was mostly for the good, except at first with Simon I was all messed up, and at first with Joe I was so awkward. I'm learning. These are social skills I feel like most people develop in like middle school, I'm 20 and trying to figure out how to make friends -_-
I'm way too negative.
yeah stuff and the likes.
oh me and kelly started a cult yesterday. It's basically neo-pagan, permaculture, and pantheism wrapped in one. I just needed some things to worship to give me the courage to stop being so shy. But the idea of being a high priestess appealed to me. eventually we hope to get other people in on this. I need to start making friends soon cause I wanna get into business. I talked to two people today.
sometimes I still miss Josh but mostly I just feel like an asshole.
I feel really lonely and I think I'm going to rush into a relationship. But hopefully it can have similar boundaries to the ones I was in at home, where, dating other people isn't exactly off limits. I'm such an asshole. I'd be so jealous if either of the guys I was with was dating other people. I liked them both. But, maybe I wouldn't be that jealous. Mostly just with Simon cause he showed me so much attention. Joe seemed like he didn't really care too much either way, which was really attractive because I don't really care that much either way.
so,
I wanna be in a stand-offish sexual relationship,
with an extreme amount of affection,
and yeah. eh.
I hope I meet someone I really like somewhere in the midst of this place so I can have a "real" relationship. Like, I'm not willing to commit energy to being in a "real" relationship with someone if I'm not so into them. But I want a relationship like thing, in the meantime. I'm just going to be blindly optimistic about the future and see what happens.
I didn't get into New Paltz's painting and drawing program because I didn't send my FIT transcript /:
But I am in New Paltz right now in the Art History program, and funny enough, I am taking no art history classes.
That's all I can think of. I was dating two people for a while and that was getting overwhelming, and then I moved away from them, and the problem solved itself. Neither one was "seriously" dating me. Mostly just fucking and smoking weed. I feel very whatever about it. No harm done. Probably was mostly for the good, except at first with Simon I was all messed up, and at first with Joe I was so awkward. I'm learning. These are social skills I feel like most people develop in like middle school, I'm 20 and trying to figure out how to make friends -_-
I'm way too negative.
yeah stuff and the likes.
oh me and kelly started a cult yesterday. It's basically neo-pagan, permaculture, and pantheism wrapped in one. I just needed some things to worship to give me the courage to stop being so shy. But the idea of being a high priestess appealed to me. eventually we hope to get other people in on this. I need to start making friends soon cause I wanna get into business. I talked to two people today.
sometimes I still miss Josh but mostly I just feel like an asshole.
I feel really lonely and I think I'm going to rush into a relationship. But hopefully it can have similar boundaries to the ones I was in at home, where, dating other people isn't exactly off limits. I'm such an asshole. I'd be so jealous if either of the guys I was with was dating other people. I liked them both. But, maybe I wouldn't be that jealous. Mostly just with Simon cause he showed me so much attention. Joe seemed like he didn't really care too much either way, which was really attractive because I don't really care that much either way.
so,
I wanna be in a stand-offish sexual relationship,
with an extreme amount of affection,
and yeah. eh.
I hope I meet someone I really like somewhere in the midst of this place so I can have a "real" relationship. Like, I'm not willing to commit energy to being in a "real" relationship with someone if I'm not so into them. But I want a relationship like thing, in the meantime. I'm just going to be blindly optimistic about the future and see what happens.