Everybody Hurts...
Today was fucking miserable. Cate got kicked out, which I wasn't so upset with, but still that's one less person in my grade. Some of my friends were put in rooms with my other friends for our softball trip to NAples, Fl. and they were upset because they weren't with their friends. Since I don't want any drama on the trip I decided to switch rooms so the princesses can have their way for a week. I mean seriously why does it matter? It's just sleeping in a room, we all hang out with each other for a week, it's not like we're in different states for spring training. I can't believe some people, one girl said if she couldn't room with her best friend she wouldn't go on the trip. Is it just me or is that retarded?
Yeah besides that people were just not themselves today. I was hoping I would be able to play tomorrow but I still can't and i'm really upset. Why have I been a bitch all week? I haven't been able to do the one thing that sustains my happiness in this drama filled wasteland. I just want to play so badly, I hate being a gimp. I know I say i'm not mad at the person who did this to me, but i'm furious. Volleyball was the one thing I had going for me at this school. My grades are ok, my friends are dropping one by one, no boyfriends and I definately won't be having one for awhile. It's just a shitty thing to have those things you love taken away from you in a sudden harsh moment.
I talked to one of my therapists today and he asked me about boyfriends. It's embarrassing to tell an old guy that i've only had one and i'm definately not telling him about giving head or having sex or anything lie that. I just say there's nothing to talk about and that I only care about my grades and Volleyball. I don't think this guy realizes I don't want to tell him about my personal issues. I don't want to tell a 70-year old man I hate being alone, I want my friends to stop being idiots and get along with each other, I want to feel better so I can play my sport again, and I wish I wasn't so fucking retarded and get my GPA higher than a 3.4......I just really miss Choate and I wish my life didn't turn out the way it did there. I want my original life back, and i'd do anything to make it the way it was.
Yeah besides that people were just not themselves today. I was hoping I would be able to play tomorrow but I still can't and i'm really upset. Why have I been a bitch all week? I haven't been able to do the one thing that sustains my happiness in this drama filled wasteland. I just want to play so badly, I hate being a gimp. I know I say i'm not mad at the person who did this to me, but i'm furious. Volleyball was the one thing I had going for me at this school. My grades are ok, my friends are dropping one by one, no boyfriends and I definately won't be having one for awhile. It's just a shitty thing to have those things you love taken away from you in a sudden harsh moment.
I talked to one of my therapists today and he asked me about boyfriends. It's embarrassing to tell an old guy that i've only had one and i'm definately not telling him about giving head or having sex or anything lie that. I just say there's nothing to talk about and that I only care about my grades and Volleyball. I don't think this guy realizes I don't want to tell him about my personal issues. I don't want to tell a 70-year old man I hate being alone, I want my friends to stop being idiots and get along with each other, I want to feel better so I can play my sport again, and I wish I wasn't so fucking retarded and get my GPA higher than a 3.4......I just really miss Choate and I wish my life didn't turn out the way it did there. I want my original life back, and i'd do anything to make it the way it was.