Stories about rings.
I overheard a conversation between an engaged couple on the Metro yesterday that reminded me of my aunt, and made me think of my recent ex. 
For some huge occasion, perhaps their 25th anniversary?, my uncle gave my aunt a huge diamond ring. It is like 10 carats or so, emerald-cut, it takes up more than the width of her finger. Whenever I've heard anyone compliment my aunt on her gorgeous ring, she has always said something about how it is pretty but she would rather have had the money in the bank instead. My uncle wanted her to have it though, so she's worn it faithfully.
With my recent ex, it took him some time to accept the notion of spending a decent amount of money on an engagement ring. My point was that, as I only intend to get married once, it is worth investing in a quality piece of jewelry now as the cost-per-wear will dwindle to nothing no matter what it spent on it. I mean, daily, for the rest of my life, I want something pretty that I can stand to look at for scores and not get bored with it. (Yes, of course, I have stone/metal/size/cut preferences, however, at the end of the day, I just want a ring that looks good on my hand. And no, he and I did not get so far as to buy one, if we had, I'd probably refer to him by another title.)
The overheard conversation was actually the tail end of the argument. When the heater on the train would blow, I couldn't hear them, but it shut off unexpectedly and I got to hear his side of things. He sounded pretty annoyed and hurt. They aren't even married yet, and she's demanding an upgrade to her engagement ring for their 10-year anniversary. Not asking, just expecting, not doing anything to "earn" it. She just knows that he'll be making more money then and can afford to get her something better. The heater turned back on, my stop approached and I didn't hear how things ended.
But wow. Like,
_ how freaking disrespectful! She's essentially calling her engagement ring a POS that needs to be replaced.
_ well, that is kind of the trend of things these days. She's a clearly a product of a consumer society that is obsessed with upgrading everything. Heh, like wives.
_ how does one earn an engagement ring upgrade? Hmm.
_ what if he decides that his purpose in life is being a clown at children's birthday parties, and in 10 years, he's making far less money than he is today though he is far more emotionally/spiritually fulfilled?
_ will she still expect this ring upgrade if they are no longer married? Does it matter how long the marriage lasts? 9 years, yes; 2 years, no?
_ where are her girlfriends to have this upgrade conversation with? And to stop her from having it with the guy to whom she's not yet married?
_ I hope this guy recognizes this neon sign to exit stage left that the conversation was. Because if she's starting down this path now, where can it go from here? I don't think I want to know.
_ if an engagement ring is a symbol of a promise, do you get an upgraded promise with an upgraded ring? Oh, wait. They call that a wedding ceremony and a wedding ring.
For me, I'm between my aunt and this woman on the train. I want my pretty bauble on my left ring finger, and don't want it to be upgraded, ever (if nothing else, it represents where we were when that promise was made). At the same time, I do have nine other fingers that can be decorated! ;) After, naturally, our financial future is entirely secured.
Always, always, with this Crab, security then shiny! ;)
Speaking of shiny things, I hope you had lovely Valentine's Days, a great start to the new Year of the Metal Tiger, and that you have very, very merry Lupercalias tomorrow! May your year be joyously ferocious and shiny!
For some huge occasion, perhaps their 25th anniversary?, my uncle gave my aunt a huge diamond ring. It is like 10 carats or so, emerald-cut, it takes up more than the width of her finger. Whenever I've heard anyone compliment my aunt on her gorgeous ring, she has always said something about how it is pretty but she would rather have had the money in the bank instead. My uncle wanted her to have it though, so she's worn it faithfully.
With my recent ex, it took him some time to accept the notion of spending a decent amount of money on an engagement ring. My point was that, as I only intend to get married once, it is worth investing in a quality piece of jewelry now as the cost-per-wear will dwindle to nothing no matter what it spent on it. I mean, daily, for the rest of my life, I want something pretty that I can stand to look at for scores and not get bored with it. (Yes, of course, I have stone/metal/size/cut preferences, however, at the end of the day, I just want a ring that looks good on my hand. And no, he and I did not get so far as to buy one, if we had, I'd probably refer to him by another title.)
The overheard conversation was actually the tail end of the argument. When the heater on the train would blow, I couldn't hear them, but it shut off unexpectedly and I got to hear his side of things. He sounded pretty annoyed and hurt. They aren't even married yet, and she's demanding an upgrade to her engagement ring for their 10-year anniversary. Not asking, just expecting, not doing anything to "earn" it. She just knows that he'll be making more money then and can afford to get her something better. The heater turned back on, my stop approached and I didn't hear how things ended.
But wow. Like,
_ how freaking disrespectful! She's essentially calling her engagement ring a POS that needs to be replaced.
_ well, that is kind of the trend of things these days. She's a clearly a product of a consumer society that is obsessed with upgrading everything. Heh, like wives.
_ how does one earn an engagement ring upgrade? Hmm.
_ what if he decides that his purpose in life is being a clown at children's birthday parties, and in 10 years, he's making far less money than he is today though he is far more emotionally/spiritually fulfilled?
_ will she still expect this ring upgrade if they are no longer married? Does it matter how long the marriage lasts? 9 years, yes; 2 years, no?
_ where are her girlfriends to have this upgrade conversation with? And to stop her from having it with the guy to whom she's not yet married?
_ I hope this guy recognizes this neon sign to exit stage left that the conversation was. Because if she's starting down this path now, where can it go from here? I don't think I want to know.
_ if an engagement ring is a symbol of a promise, do you get an upgraded promise with an upgraded ring? Oh, wait. They call that a wedding ceremony and a wedding ring.
For me, I'm between my aunt and this woman on the train. I want my pretty bauble on my left ring finger, and don't want it to be upgraded, ever (if nothing else, it represents where we were when that promise was made). At the same time, I do have nine other fingers that can be decorated! ;) After, naturally, our financial future is entirely secured.
Always, always, with this Crab, security then shiny! ;)
Speaking of shiny things, I hope you had lovely Valentine's Days, a great start to the new Year of the Metal Tiger, and that you have very, very merry Lupercalias tomorrow! May your year be joyously ferocious and shiny!