(no subject)
I ended up texting Jas to hopefully clarify/clear the air a little bit. They text me back and said they didn’t realize I still wanted to spend time together and they weren’t thrilled about us not being able to kiss but they get it. They also said, “I wish you had made it clear earlier that if I spent time unmasked with someone else, that you wouldn’t be willing to spend time unmasked with me. I understand why you have this rule considering Shannon’s health stuff, but I can’t help feeling like it’s a bit of a double standard, you know?” This... Bothered me. For multiple reasons.
For one, they’re assuming my decision was predetermined and I didn’t communicate it with them/withheld information. They’re neglecting to recognize their role in how things went (making unilateral decisions, telling me about changes after the fact instead of beforehand). They’re assuming that I didn’t want to see them without masks on because they shared germs with someone else (which was part of it but it was also that they went from all masks all the time to hanging out with different people without masks on multiple times in the span of one week). I didn’t even know they were dating anyone else until three days before I got a text about how they had made out with them. They are saying a conversation beforehand would have been nice, but didn’t initiate a conversation about any of their decisions before making them. So.. I was left to make decisions in the wake of theirs and?... I guess I feel like I’m getting blamed because they’re disappointed/whatever, and they aren’t considering/recognizing how they contributed to the situation.
So whatever, I’m a bit annoyed, and feeling defensive. I’m sure I’ll get over it, but for now I’m just trying to process and learn from this about how I could maybe do a better job communicating in the future.