Chrysillis
Okay. So.
Work: I miss coworkers. Every time I work for more than 3 days in a row, I start to get very crabby and begin to despair about my life. I'm so glad I am done with this previous five-day cycle. And that the upcoming week isn't like that at all. Kerry is probably leaving after this weekend and I'm going to miss that sassy little Brit. Rachel isn't that bad and Daniel is going to be supervisor soon. I ran into some girls the other night at Starbucks in Red Bank who were filling out applications and I told them Borders is hiring. It was kind of like me asking the universe to send me more folks to play with.
Oh, and for serious, FUCK BORDERS REWARDS CARDS. We're supposed have an average of 50% of our transactions as BRs. Well, that's Cafe standards. And I'm apparently lower than Rachel. I ask everyone...the thing is, Rachel only works like...3 days a week. I think I've actually worked six this week. WTF.
Friends: The past few weeks I've been hanging out with Dan a lot more. I'm starting to feel myself get pulled into that social circle and I like it. I do still miss my OT peeps. Not so much the Brookdalians, though. In fact, I feel a slight...animosity toward most from the couch circle. They usually complain that someone isn't keeping in touch but it is merely because no one in that group bothers to worry if someone's fallen out of the loop and instead gets pissed off. So I'm going to let people get annoyed at me for having a life that continues without them and I won't have to deal with drama or LARPers or D&D or nonsense anymore. Sounds almost too easy.
I miss my musketeers. And I miss SoJo folks. When I say "musketeers," I don't just mean Mike, Matt and Tony. I mean my OT kids. KT, Shannon, James, Ray, Giggles...my core pizza night kids. I fuckin' miss pizza nights like whoa. And I can't wait for people to get back so I can combine Dan's wacky parties with pizza night so we can all be crazy college kids on break together. I'm such a dreamer.
I don't even see Stasia that much, but I've been seeing her a lot more recently too. I'm also kind of over hating Chris. He's really begun to prove himself and I can actually appreciate his presence. I miss Bryan and Sarah, too. I miss my sister.
LIFE: I've been thinking a lot on where I'm headed. Back in March I was too stunned to really set out a plan and then ended up despairing over being stuck at QuickChek until the end of my days. But now that I'm working pretty steadily and the money is really coming in, I feel like I can look at my situation once again and give it a proper, "What the fuck am I doing?" And what I think I'm doing, and what I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do, is wait. Okay, that sounds all weird, because it seems extremely passive.
Alright, let me clear this up. First of all, I need enough money to be able to quit or take a serious hour cut and get a massage cert. I'm sure of this, I want to have a program ready to launch by next fall at the latest. In the meantime, I'm (seriously this time, for reaaaal) calling Don tomorrow and/or stopping by CPS' office. Hopefully I can get that to work out pretty well and I'll be on my way to sound production. Another plan I have in mind is to get back to Brookdale and do it properly. I'd be retaking most of the classes I botched, but I'd be acing them and this would fix my GPA and allow me to do whatever I wanted...considering I want to stay in conventional school.
All of this "planning" involves a hell of a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. A lot of guesswork, and a lot of risk. A lot of just...fudging it. That's alright though, I'm looking forward to that. It should hit either during or after the holidays. That's pretty much all I know for certain right now. In the meantime, I can actually decide which path I'm attempting to walk and how small the tightrope is going to be.
Second, I'm going to start setting things straight for real. And what that means is that I've let myself go and I want to put myself back "in shape" so to speak. I'm not talking physically, although I'm sure that will follow/matter at some point. I have all this junk lying around. Literally, just stuff in my room. I feel it actually hinders me from thinking clearly while at home, so I am going to fix that once and for all. Within the next week, all of this madness will be taken care of. Along with that will be me getting on my own back about some of my disciplines that I've abandoned. That also means that I need to reevaluate which ones actually matter to me. I'm pretty sure I can't force myself to go back to the routine of waking up at a certain time all the time, but I can form habits. I can make lists to clear my head, I can moderate myself and so forth.
Third, since this is a period of preparation of some kind, I'm going to hunker down on things for The Trunk. I'm going to get obnoxious about it, and I'm pretty sure I'll feel no remorse until someone calls me on my shit. And then I'll have to find something else to occupy my time for about 4 hours...and then go back to Trunk business. I want to really get some stuff all worked out, and put out a submissions call by no later than Christmas, even though that was the original plan to have the first issue out. This also includes a few other projects that I've been working on. Midnight Nomads, Pheonix, Suburban Hiking, the Antiboredom Campain, so on and so forth. They're all the same thing, really...just...you know. Different.
I still feel like I'm missing out on something I meant to say. I'm off tomorrow, so I'm doing all this weird "catch-up" stuff. Like cleaning my room, contacting Don, doing wash, calling folks...y'know...the works. Oh, and writing. That's it. I've been writing a lot more these days. And I don't want to stop. I keep getting wonderful spurts of inspiration and they each come out wonderfully. YAY on that front.
so,...the screen is starting to wobble without me doing anything at all. Perhaps I'll talk about the past few days in another entry. Goodnight.
-Maggie.
Work: I miss coworkers. Every time I work for more than 3 days in a row, I start to get very crabby and begin to despair about my life. I'm so glad I am done with this previous five-day cycle. And that the upcoming week isn't like that at all. Kerry is probably leaving after this weekend and I'm going to miss that sassy little Brit. Rachel isn't that bad and Daniel is going to be supervisor soon. I ran into some girls the other night at Starbucks in Red Bank who were filling out applications and I told them Borders is hiring. It was kind of like me asking the universe to send me more folks to play with.
Oh, and for serious, FUCK BORDERS REWARDS CARDS. We're supposed have an average of 50% of our transactions as BRs. Well, that's Cafe standards. And I'm apparently lower than Rachel. I ask everyone...the thing is, Rachel only works like...3 days a week. I think I've actually worked six this week. WTF.
Friends: The past few weeks I've been hanging out with Dan a lot more. I'm starting to feel myself get pulled into that social circle and I like it. I do still miss my OT peeps. Not so much the Brookdalians, though. In fact, I feel a slight...animosity toward most from the couch circle. They usually complain that someone isn't keeping in touch but it is merely because no one in that group bothers to worry if someone's fallen out of the loop and instead gets pissed off. So I'm going to let people get annoyed at me for having a life that continues without them and I won't have to deal with drama or LARPers or D&D or nonsense anymore. Sounds almost too easy.
I miss my musketeers. And I miss SoJo folks. When I say "musketeers," I don't just mean Mike, Matt and Tony. I mean my OT kids. KT, Shannon, James, Ray, Giggles...my core pizza night kids. I fuckin' miss pizza nights like whoa. And I can't wait for people to get back so I can combine Dan's wacky parties with pizza night so we can all be crazy college kids on break together. I'm such a dreamer.
I don't even see Stasia that much, but I've been seeing her a lot more recently too. I'm also kind of over hating Chris. He's really begun to prove himself and I can actually appreciate his presence. I miss Bryan and Sarah, too. I miss my sister.
LIFE: I've been thinking a lot on where I'm headed. Back in March I was too stunned to really set out a plan and then ended up despairing over being stuck at QuickChek until the end of my days. But now that I'm working pretty steadily and the money is really coming in, I feel like I can look at my situation once again and give it a proper, "What the fuck am I doing?" And what I think I'm doing, and what I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do, is wait. Okay, that sounds all weird, because it seems extremely passive.
Alright, let me clear this up. First of all, I need enough money to be able to quit or take a serious hour cut and get a massage cert. I'm sure of this, I want to have a program ready to launch by next fall at the latest. In the meantime, I'm (seriously this time, for reaaaal) calling Don tomorrow and/or stopping by CPS' office. Hopefully I can get that to work out pretty well and I'll be on my way to sound production. Another plan I have in mind is to get back to Brookdale and do it properly. I'd be retaking most of the classes I botched, but I'd be acing them and this would fix my GPA and allow me to do whatever I wanted...considering I want to stay in conventional school.
All of this "planning" involves a hell of a lot of flying by the seat of my pants. A lot of guesswork, and a lot of risk. A lot of just...fudging it. That's alright though, I'm looking forward to that. It should hit either during or after the holidays. That's pretty much all I know for certain right now. In the meantime, I can actually decide which path I'm attempting to walk and how small the tightrope is going to be.
Second, I'm going to start setting things straight for real. And what that means is that I've let myself go and I want to put myself back "in shape" so to speak. I'm not talking physically, although I'm sure that will follow/matter at some point. I have all this junk lying around. Literally, just stuff in my room. I feel it actually hinders me from thinking clearly while at home, so I am going to fix that once and for all. Within the next week, all of this madness will be taken care of. Along with that will be me getting on my own back about some of my disciplines that I've abandoned. That also means that I need to reevaluate which ones actually matter to me. I'm pretty sure I can't force myself to go back to the routine of waking up at a certain time all the time, but I can form habits. I can make lists to clear my head, I can moderate myself and so forth.
Third, since this is a period of preparation of some kind, I'm going to hunker down on things for The Trunk. I'm going to get obnoxious about it, and I'm pretty sure I'll feel no remorse until someone calls me on my shit. And then I'll have to find something else to occupy my time for about 4 hours...and then go back to Trunk business. I want to really get some stuff all worked out, and put out a submissions call by no later than Christmas, even though that was the original plan to have the first issue out. This also includes a few other projects that I've been working on. Midnight Nomads, Pheonix, Suburban Hiking, the Antiboredom Campain, so on and so forth. They're all the same thing, really...just...you know. Different.
I still feel like I'm missing out on something I meant to say. I'm off tomorrow, so I'm doing all this weird "catch-up" stuff. Like cleaning my room, contacting Don, doing wash, calling folks...y'know...the works. Oh, and writing. That's it. I've been writing a lot more these days. And I don't want to stop. I keep getting wonderful spurts of inspiration and they each come out wonderfully. YAY on that front.
so,...the screen is starting to wobble without me doing anything at all. Perhaps I'll talk about the past few days in another entry. Goodnight.
-Maggie.