bradley attempts to give the girls porn, shenanigans ensue
title: bradley attempts to give the girls porn, shenanigans ensue
author: sequinedfairy
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: not true, filthy lies, i am going to hell, etc.
pairing: bradley/colin
summary: the title says it all. also, bradley is not the brightest crayon in the box.
warnings: gayness, rpf, porn mentions, etc.
a/n: for caedesdeo , who thought of the wonderful idea in a comment on my post, and fullfathom05 , for making me finish it. read and comment, please please please.
When Katie and Angel first proposed their idea, Bradley thought it was rather reasonable. Without their guidance/not being able to properly hide their porn, he and Colin probably would never have stopped being oblivious, manly guys and startedgoing out. It wasn't a big deal at all to agree to give them some porn. (Plus, Katie had given him her best Bradley-I-will-stab-you-with-my-shoe-and-it-will-pierce-your-vital-organs look when he tried to say no, and Bradley really was a bit scared of that look.)
Walking across the set now, a bunch of NC-17 photographs haphazardly stuffed in an envelope in his jacket pocket, Bradley was feeling rather different. He hadn't precisely asked Colin if it was okay to take their homemade porn and give it to the girls, and while he was sure Colin wouldn't mind, it was still a bit nerve racking.
When Anthony, busy with his DS, ran straight into Bradley, he was really rethinking the wiseness of how he, actually, didn't bother to seal the envelope
Bradley barely swerved out of the way, but in doing so, he caught Anthony's attention.
"James!" he shouted excitedly, "you need to see my newest game, it's amazing."
Bradley made a pained face. "Actually, um, Anthony, I really sort of need to be over there right now, terribly sorry." Glancing in desperation for anywhere he could concievably need to be, he saw Katie standing by the castle gates with an evil smile on her face.
He sent her a pleading, "help me I'm begging you," look. In return, she just smiled and indicated she was expecting the envelope peeking out of his pocket. He narrowed his eyes, and in return, she laughed and tapped her foot.
He managed, after several minutes of evading, to convince Anthony that he'd check the game out back at the hotel and started walking towards Katie.
Of course, because Bradley's life was just like that, the scariest of the costume people came after him about one of Arthur's shirts that they couldn't find. It was so unfair; whenever anything went missing, everyone automatically blamed Bradley. (The small fact that the shirt was currently sitting on the bottom of Bradley's closet did not take away from how mean it was that everyone automatically blamed him.)
"Bradley, dear," Edna said sweetly, "remember that red shirt that Arthur wore a lot?"
"Yeah," Bradley admitted reluctantly. He was sure Katie had put her up to it.
She looked at him indulgently, but with steel underwriting it. Bradley was fairly sure that she could and was currently reading his mind. "It's mysteriously disapeared. I'm sure you had nothing to do with it, obviously, but I just wanted to give you a friendly reminder to keep your eyes open for it."
Bradley replied, "Of course." He knew there was no way that the costume department was ever getting it back. Colin had decided he liked it, and after a few of the things they had done in it, Bradley was fairly sure they would need to burn it for it to become clean.
"In a completely different topic, I'm sure you remember that time of which we do not speak, involving Katie's pants and a bucket full of raw fish. Katie, as you know, would not appreciate knowing the details of that particular prank, would she?"
Damn, thought Bradley. He'd have to figure that out later. For now, he just demurely nodded and looked down. Edna patted his head and walked past him, probably to go eat the souls of puppies and innocent children.
He gave up on subtlety, and decided to run the rest of the way to Katie. He took a deep breath, clutching the photographs, and prayed he wouldn't be interrupted again.
Sometimes, Bradley swore that life was just out to get him. When Colin slammed into Bradley, and succeeded in spilling all of this photographs onto the ground, Bradley was sure that life wasn't only out to get him, life had a death wish in store for him.
Colin instinctively bent to pick up the photographs, and Bradley couldn't stop him in time. Bradley had a tiny amount of hope left when Colin didn't seem register what was in the pictures for a few seconds, but that died quickly. Specifically, it died when Colin wheeled around and asked in a dangerously low tone of voice, "Bradley, why are you carrying this around?"
Bradley frantically cast his eyes around, looking for an excuse. "Erm, because, you know," and then he looked at the photo Colin was clutching and let his mouth loose, "to wank off. As people do. Um. Yes."
"Really, Bradley? That's fascinating. Tell me more, I'm begging you," said a voice that was somehow both terrifying and gleeful. Bradley turned around, and came face to face with a beaming Katie, who must've run the ten feet that had separated her and Bradley. "You carry around porn you made with your boyfriend so you can jack off to it? But why such large quantities?"
As Colin bent down to pick up a few more pictures, Katie looked straight at Bradley and slipped several choice shots into her purse. Her look said, with no ambiguity, that if Bradley told Colin, she would tell his boyfriend the real reason that he was carrying around porn. Bradley looked at her resentfully, but nodded.
"You're carrying around our porn to masturbate?" Colin inquired, still appearing calm.
Bradley was about to deny it, when he actually looked at Colin, and saw a familiar expression on his face. Colin wore the same one when Bradley wore the red shirt Edna was looking for, or showed him the picture of Bradley as a Disney princess. (He was drunk, okay? It wasn't his fault.) (So he did still have the dress. Whatever, that didn't mean anything.) That was Bradley's favorite look, even more than Colin's shy smile, which was saying something. Bradley knew that if he used his sex appeal wisely, he could get out of whatever trouble he was about to get into.
Bradley moved closer to his boyfriend, nudging their hips together, and turned to face him. Behind his back, he heard Katie urgently calling Angel over, and then noises that were incomprehensible to human ears. He ignored that; it was a pretty common occurrence, by now. Bradley concentrated on, ever so lightly, rubbing his hips against Colin's. "Yeah," he whispered, bending close to his Colin's neck, "I can't bear to only imagine anymore, I need pictures."
Katie coughed, and it sounded suspiciously like, "Filthy whore," but Bradley decided to let it go. Besides, considering his position at the moment, his denials would most likely fall on deaf ears.
Colin made a sound that Bradley could only decipher as "nngghg." He decided his work here was done, and stepped back a bit. Colin followed him, and Bradley was about to get fairly lucky when, because life is unfair, Edna appeared.
As most of the photographs (there were quite a bit to start out with) were still on the ground, it was perfectly reasonable for her to bend and pick one up. She glanced at it, only mildly interested, until she saw something that made her look harder. Bradley thought for a second that she may be interested in a Katie-and-Angel-being-interested sort of way, and had the immediate, pressing desire to bleach his own brain.
Thankfully, when she spoke, that was revealed to be not the case. Unfortunately, Bradley was still fucked.
"Bradley?" Edna asked calmly. "Is that Arthur's red shirt, the one that so mysteriously disappeared, that I see you wearing this picture? With a pair of handcuffs? And nothing else?"
Angel looked speculatively, and decided to study the picture meticulously. Bradley had dark suspicions about her reasons behind that action. Katie laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more. Colin turned a beet red.
Bradley thought that right then would be high time to secretly slink into the nearest secluded space with Colin, and proceeded to do just that. While pocketing a few of the pictures, of course.
author: sequinedfairy
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: not true, filthy lies, i am going to hell, etc.
pairing: bradley/colin
summary: the title says it all. also, bradley is not the brightest crayon in the box.
warnings: gayness, rpf, porn mentions, etc.
a/n: for caedesdeo , who thought of the wonderful idea in a comment on my post, and fullfathom05 , for making me finish it. read and comment, please please please.
When Katie and Angel first proposed their idea, Bradley thought it was rather reasonable. Without their guidance/not being able to properly hide their porn, he and Colin probably would never have stopped being oblivious, manly guys and startedgoing out. It wasn't a big deal at all to agree to give them some porn. (Plus, Katie had given him her best Bradley-I-will-stab-you-with-my-shoe-and-it-will-pierce-your-vital-organs look when he tried to say no, and Bradley really was a bit scared of that look.)
Walking across the set now, a bunch of NC-17 photographs haphazardly stuffed in an envelope in his jacket pocket, Bradley was feeling rather different. He hadn't precisely asked Colin if it was okay to take their homemade porn and give it to the girls, and while he was sure Colin wouldn't mind, it was still a bit nerve racking.
When Anthony, busy with his DS, ran straight into Bradley, he was really rethinking the wiseness of how he, actually, didn't bother to seal the envelope
Bradley barely swerved out of the way, but in doing so, he caught Anthony's attention.
"James!" he shouted excitedly, "you need to see my newest game, it's amazing."
Bradley made a pained face. "Actually, um, Anthony, I really sort of need to be over there right now, terribly sorry." Glancing in desperation for anywhere he could concievably need to be, he saw Katie standing by the castle gates with an evil smile on her face.
He sent her a pleading, "help me I'm begging you," look. In return, she just smiled and indicated she was expecting the envelope peeking out of his pocket. He narrowed his eyes, and in return, she laughed and tapped her foot.
He managed, after several minutes of evading, to convince Anthony that he'd check the game out back at the hotel and started walking towards Katie.
Of course, because Bradley's life was just like that, the scariest of the costume people came after him about one of Arthur's shirts that they couldn't find. It was so unfair; whenever anything went missing, everyone automatically blamed Bradley. (The small fact that the shirt was currently sitting on the bottom of Bradley's closet did not take away from how mean it was that everyone automatically blamed him.)
"Bradley, dear," Edna said sweetly, "remember that red shirt that Arthur wore a lot?"
"Yeah," Bradley admitted reluctantly. He was sure Katie had put her up to it.
She looked at him indulgently, but with steel underwriting it. Bradley was fairly sure that she could and was currently reading his mind. "It's mysteriously disapeared. I'm sure you had nothing to do with it, obviously, but I just wanted to give you a friendly reminder to keep your eyes open for it."
Bradley replied, "Of course." He knew there was no way that the costume department was ever getting it back. Colin had decided he liked it, and after a few of the things they had done in it, Bradley was fairly sure they would need to burn it for it to become clean.
"In a completely different topic, I'm sure you remember that time of which we do not speak, involving Katie's pants and a bucket full of raw fish. Katie, as you know, would not appreciate knowing the details of that particular prank, would she?"
Damn, thought Bradley. He'd have to figure that out later. For now, he just demurely nodded and looked down. Edna patted his head and walked past him, probably to go eat the souls of puppies and innocent children.
He gave up on subtlety, and decided to run the rest of the way to Katie. He took a deep breath, clutching the photographs, and prayed he wouldn't be interrupted again.
Sometimes, Bradley swore that life was just out to get him. When Colin slammed into Bradley, and succeeded in spilling all of this photographs onto the ground, Bradley was sure that life wasn't only out to get him, life had a death wish in store for him.
Colin instinctively bent to pick up the photographs, and Bradley couldn't stop him in time. Bradley had a tiny amount of hope left when Colin didn't seem register what was in the pictures for a few seconds, but that died quickly. Specifically, it died when Colin wheeled around and asked in a dangerously low tone of voice, "Bradley, why are you carrying this around?"
Bradley frantically cast his eyes around, looking for an excuse. "Erm, because, you know," and then he looked at the photo Colin was clutching and let his mouth loose, "to wank off. As people do. Um. Yes."
"Really, Bradley? That's fascinating. Tell me more, I'm begging you," said a voice that was somehow both terrifying and gleeful. Bradley turned around, and came face to face with a beaming Katie, who must've run the ten feet that had separated her and Bradley. "You carry around porn you made with your boyfriend so you can jack off to it? But why such large quantities?"
As Colin bent down to pick up a few more pictures, Katie looked straight at Bradley and slipped several choice shots into her purse. Her look said, with no ambiguity, that if Bradley told Colin, she would tell his boyfriend the real reason that he was carrying around porn. Bradley looked at her resentfully, but nodded.
"You're carrying around our porn to masturbate?" Colin inquired, still appearing calm.
Bradley was about to deny it, when he actually looked at Colin, and saw a familiar expression on his face. Colin wore the same one when Bradley wore the red shirt Edna was looking for, or showed him the picture of Bradley as a Disney princess. (He was drunk, okay? It wasn't his fault.) (So he did still have the dress. Whatever, that didn't mean anything.) That was Bradley's favorite look, even more than Colin's shy smile, which was saying something. Bradley knew that if he used his sex appeal wisely, he could get out of whatever trouble he was about to get into.
Bradley moved closer to his boyfriend, nudging their hips together, and turned to face him. Behind his back, he heard Katie urgently calling Angel over, and then noises that were incomprehensible to human ears. He ignored that; it was a pretty common occurrence, by now. Bradley concentrated on, ever so lightly, rubbing his hips against Colin's. "Yeah," he whispered, bending close to his Colin's neck, "I can't bear to only imagine anymore, I need pictures."
Katie coughed, and it sounded suspiciously like, "Filthy whore," but Bradley decided to let it go. Besides, considering his position at the moment, his denials would most likely fall on deaf ears.
Colin made a sound that Bradley could only decipher as "nngghg." He decided his work here was done, and stepped back a bit. Colin followed him, and Bradley was about to get fairly lucky when, because life is unfair, Edna appeared.
As most of the photographs (there were quite a bit to start out with) were still on the ground, it was perfectly reasonable for her to bend and pick one up. She glanced at it, only mildly interested, until she saw something that made her look harder. Bradley thought for a second that she may be interested in a Katie-and-Angel-being-interested sort of way, and had the immediate, pressing desire to bleach his own brain.
Thankfully, when she spoke, that was revealed to be not the case. Unfortunately, Bradley was still fucked.
"Bradley?" Edna asked calmly. "Is that Arthur's red shirt, the one that so mysteriously disappeared, that I see you wearing this picture? With a pair of handcuffs? And nothing else?"
Angel looked speculatively, and decided to study the picture meticulously. Bradley had dark suspicions about her reasons behind that action. Katie laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more. Colin turned a beet red.
Bradley thought that right then would be high time to secretly slink into the nearest secluded space with Colin, and proceeded to do just that. While pocketing a few of the pictures, of course.