HOME, THANK GOD. ALSO, BRADLEY JAMES IS RIDICULOUS.
seriously i start this post with a DESPERATE PLEA - if i ever live in middle america, PLEASE KILL ME, okay?
i've been there for the last week (hence the lack of posting, sorry!), and it is SO. BORING. OHMYGOD.
happily, i am now BACK IN NEW YORK CITY. YAY. and i'm seeing a friend i haven't seen since august tomorrow! I LOVE MY FRIENDS.
also, i am epically failing at my to do list of fics. sorry for the extreme delay!
ok, this post seriously needs something more entertaining. that thing, for today, will be BRADLEY JAMES IN DIS/CONNECTED.
WARNING: THIS POST IS MAINLY RIDICULOUSNESS AND FLAILING AND "OH BRADLEY"S. IT IS ALSO PRETTY MUCH ALL CAPSLOCK. IT WON'T MAKE SENSE UNLESS YOU WATCH THE LINKED VIDEO FIRST.
go watch it HERE. SERIOUSLY, YOUR LIFE IS NOT COMPLETED WITHOUT IT!
i probably should refer to him as "ben," because that's his character's name, but he's just BRADLEY to me, and i'm too lazy to replace all of them by hand. sorry!
ok, this show is very boring and weird, except for the bradley parts. so just watch them and don't worry about any sort of storyline. seriously do.
"i'm only looking at you." OH BRADLEY, WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LIAR? IT IS BAD. bye, random girlfriend. you're kinda boring.
haha, i love the THREE SECOND LATER STARING AT SOME OTHER GIRL. HE IS SUCH A MANWHORE.
OHMYGOD, BRADLEY. YOU ARE AT A FUNERAL. A FUNERAL. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DISCUSS YOUR HORNINESS BY TEXT. IT IS NOT OKAY.
YOU MESSED UP THE GIRL WHO YOU WANT TO BANG'S NAME. BRADLEY. NOT GOOD. YOU WILL NOT GET ANY ASS IF YOU CONTINUE THIS.
AND THEN YOU DISCUSS FOOD. HOW MANY TIME MUST I SAY THIS, BRADLEY. A FUNERAL.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN REMOTELY SUBTLE. "DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?" NO, BAD, BAD BRADLEY.
OHMYGOD, BRADLEY. THIS IS A GIRL WHO GETS HORNY DURING FUNERALS AND TEXTS YOU THAT. YOU SHOULD NOT FOLLOW HER. HOW MUCH CLEARER COULD IT BE?
"I'M AT MY FRIENDS FUNERAL." YES YOU ARE BRADLEY. THAT IS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN THAT BATHROOM STALL WITH A CLEARLY INSANE AND HORNY GIRL. LEAVE. SERIOUSLY, JUST LEAVE.
YOU ARE NOT LETTING HER UNBUCKLE YOUR PANTS, OHMYGOD. SHE IS NOT EVEN HOT. SHE IS UGLY.
THE SEX SCENE, OHMYGOD. HOW UNCOMFORTABLE WAS THAT TO FILM, REALLY? IT IS HILARIOUS. NOT EVEN HOT. JUST HILARIOUS. BRADLEY YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.
YOU ARE OFFERING HER HER PANTIES. HOW ARE YOU SO CLASSY? IT ASTOUNDS ME, REALLY.
i must say, though, that bradley looks FUCKING HOT with only a tie on. but still, no matter how hot, NOT OKAY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL, HOW HARD IS THAT?
THE LOOK ON THAT WOMAN'S FACE AS YOU EMERGE FROM THE BATHROOM STALL IN A TOTALLY UNBOTTONED SHIRT, MOLESTED HAIR, AND AN AFTER-SEX EXPRESSION IS SO. PRICELESS. I MAYBE FORGIVE YOU JUST FOR THE AMAZINGNESS OF THAT.
I THINK THAT WAS THE DEAD GIRL'S MOTHER. BRADLEY. BRADLEY BRADLEY BRADLEY. YOU ARE SUCH A WHORE IT IS GETTING TO BE INSANE. I TAKE IT BACK. I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU.
HAHAHAHAHA, TALES OF BRADLEY WHORE-Y-NESS. CHEATING ON HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH TWO SEPERATE GIRLS? LEAVING OTHER GRLS' UNDERWEAR IN YOUR BED? SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE TESTING MY LIMITS, BRADLEY. YOU ARE LUCKY YOU ARE SO PRETTY OR I WOULD STOP WATCHING IN PROTEST.
YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THE DEAD GIRL'S MOM BECAUSE SHE KNOWS YOU HAD SEX IN A BATHROOM STALL. AT AT A FUNERAL. OF HER DAUGHTER. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PERSON.
. . .
I HAVE NO WORDS, BRADLEY. DID YOU JUST PULL ONE GIRL'S UNDERWEAR OUT OF YOUR POCKET, WHILE TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH ANOTHER? THAT IS NOT NOT NOT NOT OKAY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, SERIOUSLY. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD.
"THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST MY SISTER'S." SO NOW YOU'RE INCESTIOUS TOO? YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE, BRADDERS.
BLOND GIRL, I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WITH ANY SENSE. PLEASE DO NOT SUCCUMB TO BRADLEY'S MAN-WHORE-NESS, I AM BEGGING YOU.
i feel like there's a plot in here somewhere, but it's way too boring and complicated for me to follow. whatever, i'll just focus on bradley.
OH YOU LITTLE SLUT. YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO GET IN THE BLONDE GIRL'S PANTS, AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING FOR EMILY (OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS)! BRADLEY. STOP IT WITH THE GIRLS AND THE WHORE-Y-NESS, I AM SERIOUS.
AND YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND THE ENTIRE TIME. I FORGOT ABOUT HER. THAT IS NOT OKAY, BRADLEY. HAVING A GIRLFRIEND MEANS THAT TRYING TO GET INTO THREEE DIFFERENT GIRL'S PANTS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR, SERIOUSLY. AND YOU HAD FUNERAL BATHROOM SEX WHILE SHE WAS GONE. I AM TRYING TO LOVE YOU, BUT YOU MAKE IT SO HARD.
wow, that was sorta long and ridiculous. i'm sorry! i didn't mean for it to be that long, but BRADLEY BEING A TOTAL WHORE just makes me babble even more than usual. oh self, why so crazy?