round 05, challenge one: results
round 05, challenge one: eliminations
#02 (-05) Fine print by hwanee
#14 (-04) Nothing here to see by dream_of_orange
round 05, challenge one: people's choice
#01 (+04) 433 by formattitude
round 05, challenge one: mod's choice
#07 Neverland by paintingseas
- Nice, simple, yet hard-hitting.
round 05, challenge one: tallies
Round Five, Challenge One
01. 433 by formattitude
02. Fine print by hwanee
03. A barrage, a solvent by perkybird
04. Unspoken by lilacblossoms
05. Of dragons and queens by sleepy_sheep137
06. It doesn't matter if we fall by alwaysinlike
07. Neverland by paintingseas
08. Build to conquer by dimentionally
09. Clouds in my coffee by sashimibaby
10. The stuff of legend by subtleslide
11. Exclusive by comeintosight
12. Days, weeks, months by thundersquall
13. Holy agony, Batman! by discrepance
14. Nothing here to see by dream_of_orange
15. Within these walls by kkeut
16. Dirty Motels by thismahjournal
17. Cityscape by flickre
round 05, challenge one: elimination comments
#02 - a little too confusing. i wasn't sure what was going on at all. it would have been better if the focus was more on jonghyun and minho and their debut, and donghae's appearance seemed unnecessary and added complications to the scenario.
#02 - It was a little confusing. I had to read it several times to understand what was going on.
#02 - It was confusing. At the end, I didn't know what had happened. I don't think it fit the prompt.
#02 - For one, Donghae almost seems like an impertinent presence. He comes out of nowhere, and seems to act as comic relief... and there's no need for that -- not in this drabble, anyway. There is also no transition between the last paragraph and the one preceding it; I was left confused, a little apprehensive, and definitely dissatisfied.
#02 - This was rather confusing to me, I didn't get what was going on, but that might be because I'm not familiar with SHINee.
#03 - The way it was written and how the sentences were structured got pretty jumbled in parts. There were a few too many commas and it took time going back to read things in order to understand.
#03 - It's a nice idea, but sloppily executed. The sentence structure was a little off. Some of the sentences were fragments, and some words were misused.
#03 - Maybe I just lack imagination, but I honestly can't figure out what was going on. The language was too flowery, and my mind was too occupied with trying to decipher the meaning behind the words to actually make sense of what was happening. It also left me feeling like there was supposed to be more, and maybe with more words this would have been explained better, but yeah. I was just honestly confused.
#04 - "We'd build a fort of pillows and blankets and hide inside it. I'd kiss you warm." This line totally threw me off. It sounds so forced. The descriptions paint too many images that the main point of the story is lost. It felt as if the writer focused on making the piece look and sound pretty, not on making it full of impact and developing the story.
#07 - This could have been better, is what I kept thinking after reading this. It felt choppy--This. This. This.--and I don't know, maybe this could've worked if worded better, or maybe it would've worked for something else, but it just didn't work for this particular fic.
#11 - while it was adorable, the writing seemed extremely childish and the characters seemed unrealistic.
#11 - The writing was static and unimaginative for what's supposed to be a fun, dynamic scene.
#11 - the writer painted a very ugly picture of kangin, and his actions were exaggerated and unnecessary. growling? really?
#12 - The overall storyline of the fic is very typical. It doesn't leave a strong impact and the writing isn't exceptional. There's a few grammatical errors as well.
#12 - It's very to the point, but doesn't really provide something emotionally catching to tie it all together. It's very slice of life, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't seem to have a main focus amongst all the simple phrases.
#12 - Didn't sense the emotion from the main character; fic seems rushed.
#12 - The story doesn't move forward (thus making the separation into different weeks somewhat unnecessary).
#13 - strange formatting didn't work. i have no idea what i'm supposed to be reading.
#13 - The story did not make any sense. The script formatting wasn't even correct.
#14 - It felt stilted and in the end, didn't feel like it had gone anywhere.
#14 - The fic can get a bit confusing, which makes it hard to read and understand. In the beginning it says none of the blood they're soaked in are theirs, but it later states that Rain is bleeding down his side. In one sentence, (“I said I was fine,” Jihoon mutters, and Changsun knows he’s just going to take care of the injury later when Changsun’s asleep.), they use Joon's name twice, which in turn causes confusion as to who the 'he' is referring to. The sentence also sounds awkward. It doesn't end in a memorable way either.
#14 - I can't see how this connects to the prompt, there's no mention or tie in of the theme. I think it was possible towards the end, but it closed off with a flat note.
#14 - Consisted of quite a handful of cliched lines. Very predictable scenes.
#14 - It felt too rushed.
#14 - I don't see the connection to the promt and there is no explanation to why they act like they do, thus making it a bit one-dimensional.
#15 - The transition from one scene to another is awkward.
#16 - sentences are too short and clipped and there are too many unnecessary paragraph and line breaks.
#16 - Yes, the characterization was fairly accurate. However, the dialogue was overdone, and I can't help but think that this was a too-generic take on the prompt... not to mention that this style of writing is better suited for a longer fic, and not so much for a drabble.
#16 - Homophobic!Jay is so overdone; it was funny at first when we didn't know a lot about Jay, but now it's just really grating to see him portrayed so shallowly. Furthermore, there wasn't much of a plot and the writing was rather sparse. As a result, the fic depended on its humor to deliver, but unfortunately I didn't find it very funny.
#17 - overall i feel like the idea could have been handled in a more unique and more interesting way.
round 05, challenge one: favorite comments
#01 - i liked the interpretation of the prompt, and the rich descriptions of the sounds in jonghyun's life.
#01 - At first, I wasn't sure exactly what the drabble was getting at -- but by the fourth paragraph, things became much more cohesive and complementary to the beginning. The prompt was interpreted in a very light-hearted sense, but the author made sure to stray away from becoming too cliched or fluffy. The imagery was also nicely executed.
#01 - I really like how you capture the little bits of Jonghyun's world in so few lines, with such personality. And I like how the punch at the end isn't centered on suspenseful emotion, but rather the reader's attention on how this story is connected to the prompt.
#01 - The little details and the imagery make this piece come alive for me.
#03 - The beautifully constructed sentences create an atmosphere that leaves you with some kind of faint hopelessness. It affects.
#03 - a very interesting take on the prompt and it flows together very smoothly despite its many complexities. as a reader, i like how minho's isolation is relayed so well that i manage to feel it too.
#03 - The writer took an interesting view on the prompt, but managed to pull it all together and connect it with the theme in the end. Transitions are smooth and the execution is A+, even if it starts off a bit confusing it gets cleared up quickly. The descriptive writing, even with the word limit, is fantastic.
#05 - The sap, as the author put it, successfully came across without the use of pretentious language or even saccharine sweetness. It was sweet, but not overly so, and was beautifully narrated without over the top language. Everything was just right.
#05 - It was simple, cute, and the words used gave me a perfect image of what was happening. :)
#06 - The writing of this fic is incredibly descriptive, and it's easy to tell how it's related to the prompt. The writer manages to depict a small and simple moment with great detail. It's written in a way that makes it simple to visualize and the overall story flows well, an easy read.
#07 - Great development in such a few words. The ending provides great impact and the build up is just great.
#12 - I thought it was simple but effective. It didn't try to take on too much, but it wasn't a very literal interpretation of the prompt.
#14 - I really liked this, it was poignant and had a lot of impact for a drabble. I'd really like to see it expanded, one day.
#15 - this idea was beautifully executed and easy to picture.
#16 - Loved the characterization and flow. A good read.
almondkicks, sensiblecanary, kalopsic, dailysky, saengie, pregnantcigar and lemonypunch have used one skip for this challenge.