my week, paraphrased: rate of change of the rate of change, yo
(in which i call my mother to...pretend to call my mother)
-
To Boy:
“So you’re telling me I’ve been driving past your house for the past…pretty much my entire life in America?”
“And you’re telling me I jog past yours all the time? Oh we have a new puppy you’ll love him.”
(I don’t really like dogs but you’re assuming I will see him to be able to love him and yes good?)
and,
“I like your necklace.”
“Thanks. It’s a tree.”
“It’s elegant.”
(Elegant? That is so the wrong word. But awww.) “I like trees. Which is totally sense-making because-yes-I-Ann Arbor?” (Oh my God why can’t I shut up?)
-
To Dr. Koch:
“So I’m applying to med-school… a recommendation would be nice if you have the time?”
“Medical school? Huh. I’ll let them know you’re an upstart.” Nod, “Yes, I can write a really good one for you, actually. They should beware of admitting such a hellion into their ranks… But… medical school?”
“Don’t worry, I’m also a Women’s Studies major. I have a vision!” *makes I-have-vision handmotion*
“Oh, yes, good, good. See that you don’t forget to cause trouble just because you're being crushed by science!”
-
To Fate:
“Imissyou” *whine*
“Sorry, I'm distracted, I really like the Ikea website” *makes lustful noises, presumably about furniture*
“You know, you’re a really strange woman. I’m not sure why I’m so in love with you.”
-
To Sam:
“OhMyGodhewouldn'tleave. Awkward!”
“So you ended up going on a date with the boy you don’t want and failed to see the boy you do?”
“Lunch! Accidentally! I didn’t know he would be here!”
“He lives an hour and a half away Shrii, I don’t think he could just happen to be in the neighborhood by accident.”
“Not a date! Dinner is a date! Lunch is so not! And I’m going to see Boy tomorrow! By skipping out of work! There could be ice cream!”
“Hey Shrii!”
“Oh, by the way, you’re on speaker-phone, and that was my dad saying hi.”
“I’m glad I can provide semi-regular entertainment for your whole family. Really. I live to serve. Siempre Fidelis.”
-
To Roomie:
“We need a plan.”
“What have you got yourself into now?”
“Nothing! I got rid of him with virtue intact! We just need a plan to get rid of them easier in the future. Can you call me and pretend to be my mother?”
-
To Boss:
“I'd like to leave go down to the fishroom where no one can see me sneak out by two?”
“You’re not in a hurry are you? I can really use some help with the necropsies and x-rays and you don’t have to be in the fish room until after 2:30.”
“Of course not. Extract mice prostate tumors by individual lobes.” And not get to go to make-up class and see Boy and possibly have ICE CREAM. “That’s definitely what I want to do most right now.” *hate life*
-
And one that only happened in my head and will possibly never happen since I couldn’t sneak away from work on the only chance I’ll have to see him for another ten days:
“So we walked all the way to the other end of campus away from my house or your lab because why?”
“Um, because I didn’t know it was in the opposite direction from your house and that you were trying to walk me home so I was trying to just walk with you?”
“Oh my God we make STUPID.”
“Does that mean we’re dating now? Because I can totally deal with the saving yourself for marriage thing if you’re doing that. Totally. We can still make out, right?”
-
so...in other things... there's Tricia Helfer/Katee Sackhoff RPS out there somewhere, right? RIGHT??
-
To Boy:
“So you’re telling me I’ve been driving past your house for the past…pretty much my entire life in America?”
“And you’re telling me I jog past yours all the time? Oh we have a new puppy you’ll love him.”
(I don’t really like dogs but you’re assuming I will see him to be able to love him and yes good?)
and,
“I like your necklace.”
“Thanks. It’s a tree.”
“It’s elegant.”
(Elegant? That is so the wrong word. But awww.) “I like trees. Which is totally sense-making because-yes-I-Ann Arbor?” (Oh my God why can’t I shut up?)
-
To Dr. Koch:
“So I’m applying to med-school… a recommendation would be nice if you have the time?”
“Medical school? Huh. I’ll let them know you’re an upstart.” Nod, “Yes, I can write a really good one for you, actually. They should beware of admitting such a hellion into their ranks… But… medical school?”
“Don’t worry, I’m also a Women’s Studies major. I have a vision!” *makes I-have-vision handmotion*
“Oh, yes, good, good. See that you don’t forget to cause trouble just because you're being crushed by science!”
-
To Fate:
“Imissyou” *whine*
“Sorry, I'm distracted, I really like the Ikea website” *makes lustful noises, presumably about furniture*
“You know, you’re a really strange woman. I’m not sure why I’m so in love with you.”
-
To Sam:
“OhMyGodhewouldn'tleave. Awkward!”
“So you ended up going on a date with the boy you don’t want and failed to see the boy you do?”
“Lunch! Accidentally! I didn’t know he would be here!”
“He lives an hour and a half away Shrii, I don’t think he could just happen to be in the neighborhood by accident.”
“Not a date! Dinner is a date! Lunch is so not! And I’m going to see Boy tomorrow! By skipping out of work! There could be ice cream!”
“Hey Shrii!”
“Oh, by the way, you’re on speaker-phone, and that was my dad saying hi.”
“I’m glad I can provide semi-regular entertainment for your whole family. Really. I live to serve. Siempre Fidelis.”
-
To Roomie:
“We need a plan.”
“What have you got yourself into now?”
“Nothing! I got rid of him with virtue intact! We just need a plan to get rid of them easier in the future. Can you call me and pretend to be my mother?”
-
To Boss:
“I'd like to leave go down to the fishroom where no one can see me sneak out by two?”
“You’re not in a hurry are you? I can really use some help with the necropsies and x-rays and you don’t have to be in the fish room until after 2:30.”
“Of course not. Extract mice prostate tumors by individual lobes.” And not get to go to make-up class and see Boy and possibly have ICE CREAM. “That’s definitely what I want to do most right now.” *hate life*
-
And one that only happened in my head and will possibly never happen since I couldn’t sneak away from work on the only chance I’ll have to see him for another ten days:
“So we walked all the way to the other end of campus away from my house or your lab because why?”
“Um, because I didn’t know it was in the opposite direction from your house and that you were trying to walk me home so I was trying to just walk with you?”
“Oh my God we make STUPID.”
“Does that mean we’re dating now? Because I can totally deal with the saving yourself for marriage thing if you’re doing that. Totally. We can still make out, right?”
-
so...in other things... there's Tricia Helfer/Katee Sackhoff RPS out there somewhere, right? RIGHT??