Damn...
The thoughts with which i have been scaring myself - so much as to keep me awake tonight:
My parents are still at my grandma's house, using my cousin's computer and reading my blog - which my cousin probably found when he was here last week (because he's actually computer literate) and is now showing to my parents.
Heh. The shit would really hit the fan then. Not that i'm ready to deal with anything yet, but at least i would no longer be living under the crushing weight of secrets that are slowly killing me.
Uh, everything feels like it is too much sometimes. And then i think about my life and my relationships with everyone i have ever met and i think that it is true - i am a lazy, selfish, disgusting bitch.
Hell, I'm a mentally ill, ugly fatass with severe personality problems. How can i ever be be "normal" and function in this fucked up world? What's the point of me living?? Everything i do is selfish.
I guess i could make my journal friend's only, but it is probably too late and doing that would feel like being silenced to me.
I'm so tired of everything. Especially of being silenced.
My parents are still at my grandma's house, using my cousin's computer and reading my blog - which my cousin probably found when he was here last week (because he's actually computer literate) and is now showing to my parents.
Heh. The shit would really hit the fan then. Not that i'm ready to deal with anything yet, but at least i would no longer be living under the crushing weight of secrets that are slowly killing me.
Uh, everything feels like it is too much sometimes. And then i think about my life and my relationships with everyone i have ever met and i think that it is true - i am a lazy, selfish, disgusting bitch.
Hell, I'm a mentally ill, ugly fatass with severe personality problems. How can i ever be be "normal" and function in this fucked up world? What's the point of me living?? Everything i do is selfish.
I guess i could make my journal friend's only, but it is probably too late and doing that would feel like being silenced to me.
I'm so tired of everything. Especially of being silenced.