no drama today
Okay, so there's no drama, but that's a good thing, i think.
I finally fell asleep last night and when i woke up today my parents were home. It's weird though because there was no explosive episode from my dad. In fact they've been super nice to me today, which is making me more paranoid than ever.
My parents said they went to their trailer after visiting my grandma's, which i want to believe because it makes sense, but they might just be saying that. I think they were being nice to me because i've been out of their hair for a few days, and when they came home, they got to babysit my nieces, which they love to do.
I am probably just being paranoid about them reading my blog. I tend to jump to conclusions pretty quickly about some things (it's sort of a self defense mechanism i think), so it has to be just paranoia.
I am sorry if i worry anyone. I don't mean to. I write about my fucked up feelings or cutting my arms - or even thinking of suicide, but if i ever became actively suicidal i would be doing it, not blogging about it. Besides i have tried several times already and i think i would have succeeded by now if i really wanted to.
I don't want to die - i just want the pain to stop. - I'm sure many people can relate to that.
I finally fell asleep last night and when i woke up today my parents were home. It's weird though because there was no explosive episode from my dad. In fact they've been super nice to me today, which is making me more paranoid than ever.
My parents said they went to their trailer after visiting my grandma's, which i want to believe because it makes sense, but they might just be saying that. I think they were being nice to me because i've been out of their hair for a few days, and when they came home, they got to babysit my nieces, which they love to do.
I am probably just being paranoid about them reading my blog. I tend to jump to conclusions pretty quickly about some things (it's sort of a self defense mechanism i think), so it has to be just paranoia.
I am sorry if i worry anyone. I don't mean to. I write about my fucked up feelings or cutting my arms - or even thinking of suicide, but if i ever became actively suicidal i would be doing it, not blogging about it. Besides i have tried several times already and i think i would have succeeded by now if i really wanted to.
I don't want to die - i just want the pain to stop. - I'm sure many people can relate to that.