(no subject)
My grandmother has an ability, an incredible one. Her ability is that, after long periods of time, she will randomly make red sauce. Tomato gravy. ...However you want to refer to it, the result is the same.
But she will not just randomly make this from time to time, she will make it with precision, on the exact day(s) I will happen to have a canker sore in the highest amount of pain. And indeed, the high acidity of tomato will irritate it to no end, to the point of rendering the meal's lap time four times longer than it has to take.
Today, Christmas came early, 'Thank the Lord for small mercies'. My boss's last day was today, after all. In addition, the heartful farewell I was afraid I was going to fail at, passed as easily as a handshake. My coworker hugged her after I shook her hand, and she said "Oh, I don't like hugs", reaffirming her position as a frigid bitch, before I left to go home. I did not look back, lest I turn into a pillar of salt.
Today at work, four people walked up to my counter with fully functioning products because they 'didn't work'. Two of them, both cameras, were back to back. The first woman didn't know why the 'little window' was out of focus. There is a knob right next to the viewfinder that adjusts it. ...I know Jack shit about cameras in particular, I just started fiddling and found it first thing. The next lady was upset the lens was stuck ejected, and the camera would not close. ...The battery was dead. The camera would just die out before the startup process would have retracted it. I plugged the camera into the wall charger and it closed.
Both of them asked me where I learned all these things, and proceeded to talk about how it's all foreign to them, like another language. ...At no point did I use any sort of technical knowledge. All I could think about, was how they were there before me basically saying thinking is not their forté. I'm mentioned before the doctors, lawyers... fucking nuclear engineers, that feel chagrined enough to have to bring up where they DO excel, instead. As though I would be equally lost and vapid in their shoes. They laugh about it and toss it aside, as though being functional with technology is a negligible trait, and they simply can't be expected or bothered to do it.
Well, what's worse are the wives. Tossing around the money OF these retarded husbands, as though it was earned themselves through a birthright, they focus upon more serious matters instead, like trying to convince me that they need their computer shipped, repaired and shipped back not just fast, but FOR-REALSY-REALS SUPER-DODECA-FAST, and that I just need to be convinced and I'll hit my secret turbo button, and their laptop busted from boxed wine being spilled on it will fly off on a magical adventure, to return glistening and new 20 minutes later.
All those OTHER housewives, they only THOUGHT it was important, but THIS one needs it for WORK. Or their kid is going off to school, and their dusty, porn-loaded pandemic of a hand-me-down needs to be whipped into shape, before they can succeed academically, loading it with itunes and mp3s between beer pong.
...Oh yeah, the hippies.
Two hippies -- no exaggeration, a stereotype would be less stereotypical, peace sign tattoo on the side of their computer and all -- had some work done. Their computer... was LLOOOOAAAAADDDEEEDDD with a caked on, onyx, soulless soot of a dust. Once they picked it up, I demonstrated how to install new memory, as a courtesy. Well, in the process of showing them the place where they would install it, the wife of this hippie duo comments on the dust level. I say "Yeah, it's pretty bad", thrown off by the odd way she pointed it out. I thought it was just me, but when she caught view of the whole computer, she was like "Oh, now, this is just horrible!" And I was at a loss. By the way she said it, did she think -I- put this dust there?
My bewilderment turned into horror, as she actually tried to turn a case of it being OUR fault for NOT cleaning the computer out, TOTALLY sidestepping how this slop happened to get there. She said, "I'm just used to, like, every time we've ever had the computer worked on before, they cleaned it as a courtesy". Now, this could easily be guessed as a lie any day, but this time it's supplied with it's own evidence, as you can't get this much dust before years of... effort.
Well, she complained to the higher-ups, and they had me do it just to please her. She apologized, as she 'didn't know -I- would be the one doing it'. Like I was gonna toot on a pan flute and oompa-loompas would do my bidding.
I spent 45 minutes in the stereo install bay shooting compressed air at this computer. ...Don't get me wrong, even a dirty computer can be done in 20. I just wanted them to wait. Only once I had relaxed, did I walk back and send them on their way.
...Fucking hippies, think a world view change is the first step when elementary humanity already seems to escape them. Try being a decent person yourself first, changing the rest of the world second. PROtip: If you think you are an excellent human being, keep at it -- you have a long way to go.
But she will not just randomly make this from time to time, she will make it with precision, on the exact day(s) I will happen to have a canker sore in the highest amount of pain. And indeed, the high acidity of tomato will irritate it to no end, to the point of rendering the meal's lap time four times longer than it has to take.
Today, Christmas came early, 'Thank the Lord for small mercies'. My boss's last day was today, after all. In addition, the heartful farewell I was afraid I was going to fail at, passed as easily as a handshake. My coworker hugged her after I shook her hand, and she said "Oh, I don't like hugs", reaffirming her position as a frigid bitch, before I left to go home. I did not look back, lest I turn into a pillar of salt.
Today at work, four people walked up to my counter with fully functioning products because they 'didn't work'. Two of them, both cameras, were back to back. The first woman didn't know why the 'little window' was out of focus. There is a knob right next to the viewfinder that adjusts it. ...I know Jack shit about cameras in particular, I just started fiddling and found it first thing. The next lady was upset the lens was stuck ejected, and the camera would not close. ...The battery was dead. The camera would just die out before the startup process would have retracted it. I plugged the camera into the wall charger and it closed.
Both of them asked me where I learned all these things, and proceeded to talk about how it's all foreign to them, like another language. ...At no point did I use any sort of technical knowledge. All I could think about, was how they were there before me basically saying thinking is not their forté. I'm mentioned before the doctors, lawyers... fucking nuclear engineers, that feel chagrined enough to have to bring up where they DO excel, instead. As though I would be equally lost and vapid in their shoes. They laugh about it and toss it aside, as though being functional with technology is a negligible trait, and they simply can't be expected or bothered to do it.
Well, what's worse are the wives. Tossing around the money OF these retarded husbands, as though it was earned themselves through a birthright, they focus upon more serious matters instead, like trying to convince me that they need their computer shipped, repaired and shipped back not just fast, but FOR-REALSY-REALS SUPER-DODECA-FAST, and that I just need to be convinced and I'll hit my secret turbo button, and their laptop busted from boxed wine being spilled on it will fly off on a magical adventure, to return glistening and new 20 minutes later.
All those OTHER housewives, they only THOUGHT it was important, but THIS one needs it for WORK. Or their kid is going off to school, and their dusty, porn-loaded pandemic of a hand-me-down needs to be whipped into shape, before they can succeed academically, loading it with itunes and mp3s between beer pong.
...Oh yeah, the hippies.
Two hippies -- no exaggeration, a stereotype would be less stereotypical, peace sign tattoo on the side of their computer and all -- had some work done. Their computer... was LLOOOOAAAAADDDEEEDDD with a caked on, onyx, soulless soot of a dust. Once they picked it up, I demonstrated how to install new memory, as a courtesy. Well, in the process of showing them the place where they would install it, the wife of this hippie duo comments on the dust level. I say "Yeah, it's pretty bad", thrown off by the odd way she pointed it out. I thought it was just me, but when she caught view of the whole computer, she was like "Oh, now, this is just horrible!" And I was at a loss. By the way she said it, did she think -I- put this dust there?
My bewilderment turned into horror, as she actually tried to turn a case of it being OUR fault for NOT cleaning the computer out, TOTALLY sidestepping how this slop happened to get there. She said, "I'm just used to, like, every time we've ever had the computer worked on before, they cleaned it as a courtesy". Now, this could easily be guessed as a lie any day, but this time it's supplied with it's own evidence, as you can't get this much dust before years of... effort.
Well, she complained to the higher-ups, and they had me do it just to please her. She apologized, as she 'didn't know -I- would be the one doing it'. Like I was gonna toot on a pan flute and oompa-loompas would do my bidding.
I spent 45 minutes in the stereo install bay shooting compressed air at this computer. ...Don't get me wrong, even a dirty computer can be done in 20. I just wanted them to wait. Only once I had relaxed, did I walk back and send them on their way.
...Fucking hippies, think a world view change is the first step when elementary humanity already seems to escape them. Try being a decent person yourself first, changing the rest of the world second. PROtip: If you think you are an excellent human being, keep at it -- you have a long way to go.