(no subject)
I had three days off from work, and it spoiled me -- I do not want to go back. Somewhere deep down, my thoughts dance upon the obvious; "This, this is so much better than that other situation, you should stick with this." But then who would bring home the bacon?
Maybe I need a vacation, as much as I fancy to say I do. I fear that I may grow all too accustomed to an all too temporary situation, should the situation arise.
I took the garbage out, and was reminded once again of the turning of the seasons. I am as apprehensive as ever. I should take up migration.
Aside from work, there is nothing -- nothing at all. Maybe that's my problem. A fortune cookie told me just today that those that stay the most active have the most time in the day. I never zoom home with anticipation to continue work upon my...
...Every time someone at work shows a friendly interest in my personal life, I return it with futility. Someone would ask what I do in my free time, as I've filled in no blanks, and I give a different, answer every time. I collect stamps, race gerbils, breed naked mole rats, play Russian roulette, practice choreographed knife fights, handicapped capoiera, and... how did I put it... shine those sunlight bulbs used for cold-blooded pets at disco-balls surrounding solar panels.
I prefer remaining ambiguous at the cost of pushing people away. As though I'm going to fill in the blank with a great, terrific and amazing... something, that will make it all worthwhile. This will never happen. This does not help my case at all.
So I float along, from hassle to hassle. Like planning your trip, measuring by the potholes.
The apathy is getting to be a hassle itself -- Apparently, I gave away a Nintendo Wii at some given point in time, and cannot, for the life of me, remember to whom.
I bought one months and months ago, before the previous holiday season, with the purpose of selling it to turn a profit when they're in demand. Now they're in plentiful supply, but such is not my problem, as when I went to find it where I put it away to store until selling time, it was no longer there.
My memory does not return any particular moment where I gave it away, only fuzz and moments I cannot distinguish from imagination. It seems to be the sort of thing one would remember at great value.
There have been moments where I realized well after the fact that I should have been offended, or was being taken advantage of, or should have remembered myself as a person. Not counting yourself when asking for a table at a restaurant, as it were. There are times I never even noticed, I'm sure, and never at the moment itself. Even now, I feel too egocentric just bringing it up.
I should be sleeping. I don't know why I get so blarney when I have work the next day. I guess it's my own effort in kicking and screaming. Complaining so much about the same things every week, the world seems as though it would prefer it if I quietly fade into the background, and eventually off-stage completely. The movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea.
Maybe I need a vacation, as much as I fancy to say I do. I fear that I may grow all too accustomed to an all too temporary situation, should the situation arise.
I took the garbage out, and was reminded once again of the turning of the seasons. I am as apprehensive as ever. I should take up migration.
Aside from work, there is nothing -- nothing at all. Maybe that's my problem. A fortune cookie told me just today that those that stay the most active have the most time in the day. I never zoom home with anticipation to continue work upon my...
...Every time someone at work shows a friendly interest in my personal life, I return it with futility. Someone would ask what I do in my free time, as I've filled in no blanks, and I give a different, answer every time. I collect stamps, race gerbils, breed naked mole rats, play Russian roulette, practice choreographed knife fights, handicapped capoiera, and... how did I put it... shine those sunlight bulbs used for cold-blooded pets at disco-balls surrounding solar panels.
I prefer remaining ambiguous at the cost of pushing people away. As though I'm going to fill in the blank with a great, terrific and amazing... something, that will make it all worthwhile. This will never happen. This does not help my case at all.
So I float along, from hassle to hassle. Like planning your trip, measuring by the potholes.
The apathy is getting to be a hassle itself -- Apparently, I gave away a Nintendo Wii at some given point in time, and cannot, for the life of me, remember to whom.
I bought one months and months ago, before the previous holiday season, with the purpose of selling it to turn a profit when they're in demand. Now they're in plentiful supply, but such is not my problem, as when I went to find it where I put it away to store until selling time, it was no longer there.
My memory does not return any particular moment where I gave it away, only fuzz and moments I cannot distinguish from imagination. It seems to be the sort of thing one would remember at great value.
There have been moments where I realized well after the fact that I should have been offended, or was being taken advantage of, or should have remembered myself as a person. Not counting yourself when asking for a table at a restaurant, as it were. There are times I never even noticed, I'm sure, and never at the moment itself. Even now, I feel too egocentric just bringing it up.
I should be sleeping. I don't know why I get so blarney when I have work the next day. I guess it's my own effort in kicking and screaming. Complaining so much about the same things every week, the world seems as though it would prefer it if I quietly fade into the background, and eventually off-stage completely. The movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea.