how can this be???

Jul 06, 2011 14:51

apparently i fail.  i fail at life and at weight loss ( Read more... )

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seeking_joely July 8 2011, 03:19:39 UTC
thanks hun...that is one thing i've got going for me. through ALL the ups and downs over the past five years, i have NEVER EVER given up. i may have gone far off track, but i've never quit.

i sometimes wonder if i'm somehow subconciously sabotaging myself. i told my one friend...maybe i'm scared to get thin because then if i fail at something or people don't like me, it's not because of my fat.

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punkyami_chan July 6 2011, 22:20:45 UTC
You are not a failure or a fraud. You have worked hard and become a much different person now than when you began this journey. I know how much you want to be able to get the weight off and keep it off so you can feel "normal." Now that your true friends love you for who you are not what you look like or what the numbers on any of the damn scales tell you ( ... )

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seeking_joely July 8 2011, 03:23:40 UTC
thank you for all your kind words, they really do mean a lot to me. i know i haven't been around much, but i've tried to keep tabs on all my favorites here. :)

i just filled out the forms for them to determine if they want me to get tested for the sleep apnea (pretty sure they will, since i wasn't aware of how bad my snoring/stopping breathing actually was until i was informed by the boy...yikes, hahaha).

my doctor really wants me to have surgery (funny how i don't hate this doctor for telling me that like the other one) and since my insurance pays for it 100% she thinks it's best i look into it. i have mixed feelings on it (that i will share in a post coming soon), but at the same time...if it's 100% covered and i've been fighting this battle for so long, maybe it's the right thing to do?

i'm so proud of you and how far you've come, i really hope you know that!!!

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seeking_joely July 8 2011, 03:25:34 UTC
i didn't realize they had a surgery for it these days. i know my dad had it and he never wore the mask and i'm not sure i would either (although i know there are many options out there these days), but i wonder if it's that bad, if my insurance would pay for it. we shall see...

glad it's helped him so much!!!

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crystalheart July 7 2011, 03:31:36 UTC
Short and sweet since I'm exhausted. But Hon, I am very proud of you! You have done awesome! Never forget that. Mistakes are what make us human and you have learned from yours.

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seeking_joely July 8 2011, 03:26:22 UTC
thank you my dear. i definitely have learned from them...i just keep thinking there's gotta be a reason for all of this. :)

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jejuneraccoon July 7 2011, 04:37:42 UTC
<3

A failure? You are an inspiration!

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seeking_joely July 8 2011, 03:26:46 UTC
awww, thank you. i don't feel like much of an inspiration these days, but thank you all the same. :)

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